Advice to anyone that is jealous....

[kb109]

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James

[dil]

strange, I don't often feel jealousy, just a ton of self-pity.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

True, i often get jealous... And it is because of my insecurities.. But its harder to stop the bad feelings within then to be jealous..

[skyblue1]

I agree! like this post

[beautifulbreakdown]

"If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved"

 

how do you even begin to love yourself..?

[Celadon]

A great post! Thanks!

[Darkness_Falls]

This is a very good post. And it confirms a problem that I have, I do have a lot of jealousy. I keep it in so that it doesn't effect my relationship too much but it does effect me. I wish I could get rid of it. I keep thinking my bf is going to go off with someone else, even though he has given no notion towards this. I feel I am not at all good enough for him as I am going through depression. Sucks

[BabyOrchid]

I try to understand what I fear when I feel jealous...and it's not necessarily that I don't have ANY value, but that I might have less value and appeal than the ones I'm jealous of. It's more the fear of coming in second when a comparison is done... I totally agree that I have insecurity issues and that's the root of my jealousy...but how can I help it when my bfriend still talks to the woman he so loved not long ago? I've just discovered a Xmas card he got in which she proclaims her ever lasting love and reminds him of special memories...Arrggg.. I feel jealous right now as I am writing this...

[Celadon]

I'd say your bf and his ex aren't behaving respectfully to you, so no wonder you feel jealous! I don't think that's wrong. I'd say that no matter how strong you feel you are, it's still your bf's responsibility to help you feel secure in his love. It's hard, but tell him how you feel.