Children of Cheating Parents

[NibbleNutz]

1. Which parent cheated? - My father

2. What happened to your parents' marriage? My mother divorced my father.

3. What were your feelings on what was happening? I was surprised (I was already an adult).

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do? I was the first to find out and I told my mom.

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not? Yes, except he hasn't forgiven me for telling my mother.

6. Have/would you ever had an affair? I cheated on my first wife (which ocurred before my father cheated on my mother). I have since remarried and have not cheated.

[jc123]

i think a realtionship/marriage should end when one is unfaithful. it will never be the same as it was before the adultery.

[mattj]

1. Which parent cheated? Father

2. What happened to your parents' marriage? He moved out of home and eventually moved in with a woman who I later realised he must have had an affair with. Divorce proceedings had started but he died unexpectedly before they were finished, almost a year to the day he left home.

3. What were your feelings on what was happening? Confused. I was left the only family member in regular contact with him, I didn't want to accept that he'd done anything wrong. However I never got the chance to confront him about it, something i'll regret my entire life.

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do? My mother probably knew, my sisters had suspected it for a while. I saw all the signs, but dismissed them because I respected him.

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not? I didn't have time.

6. Have/would you ever had an affair? Horrified at the idea. Scared that at some point I might, the idea sickens me.

[ally72]

1. Which parent cheated?

father

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

still married

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

i feel disgusted, upset, angry and betrayed i have lost all respect for my father and feel so bad for my mother and don't know how to help her

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

yes i still do, i think my mother is suspicious but not sure if she knows even if she did know she cant leave him because she depends on him for money as he never let her work, i dont know what to do i just ant to get away from here i wish this was not happening

 

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

how can i

 

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

never

[beckera2222]

1. Which parent cheated?

Father

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

My mom just found out about it recently. I go to college in another town 3 hours away so when I came home for Thanksgiving I noticed their was some hostility in the way my dad was acting. I also thought it was strange that they stayed up late talking calmly with each other. I left and went back to school and 4 weeks later came home where my parents told me that my father had moved out. They're now working on their relationship by going on dates and falling back in love. Both are optimistic they'll be able to work it out.

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

I just found out this morning. Neither of my parents know I found out. I've been staying with my mom for a week and some of her actions now seem warrented but I was snooping and found a self-help relationship book where I discovered in it that my father had a women in another city, one that he went to alot for business. I hold my dad on a pedestal. I always have. I don't know how to feel. My mom had heart surgery back in October and apparently she had convinced herself and my father that she was going to die and discussing plans for when she doesn't make it through the surgery. My dad got very hurt by it and became a jekyl and hyde character. He would be nice at some points and then a mean nasty person at others. I understand that he didn't feel loved and he felt hurt, i just don't understand how someone I love so much could do something like that. I'm disgusted. I have conflicting emotions. I want them to stay together because i'm selfish and I don't know what life would be like being an only child having divorced parents. But if I was in that situation I don't know if I would be able to stay with the person that cheated on me. In not so many words i'm breaking inside.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

No. Neither of my parents know I know.

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

Up in the air. I want to forgive him because I love him and I'll never stop loving him because he's my dad. I just don't think i'll be able to look at him the same way ever again.

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

No. Never.

[helplesslyhoping]

1. Which parent cheated? Dad

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage? Started divorce proceeding, then stopped, went to counceling and have now been together almost 46 years.

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening? Incredibly pissed that my dad would do that to my mom

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do? Thankfully no

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not? It has taken a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time but yes I have

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair? Yes? No? My STBX and I were separated and I dated someone else. He says I cheated, I say he bailed long before I was dating someone else. And no, that is NOT the reason for our divorce.

[fLuiD]

1. Which parent cheated? My dad, although he has denied it everytime my mom confronted him about it.

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage? I was only about 8, so I don't remember too much detail. I think they kept living together for a few months after all this went down. Mostly to sort out bills and to give each other time to find what their next moves would be. My dad moved into an apartment my grandparents rented out and my mom moved into an apartment near where she works.

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening? All I really saw was alot of fighting. I didn't understand why my mom was going out more often on the weekends and why I had to alternate spending weekends at my mom's and dad's. I was only 8 years old. I was scared to see my parents apart from each other.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do? I really didn't know they had broken up because of fears of an affair until a few months after they separated, when my mom sat me down and explained. I was under the impression that they were just having financial problems. What did I do? I became much closer to my mom and felt like I wanted to protect her from everything. I kept myself busy though and when I was old enough to be out of the house unsupervised (friends houses, movies, etc.) I took every chance I could. I couldn't stand being home, even though my mom didn't linger too much on her sadness.

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not? He never apologized and I think is in complete denial. I don't think he will ever admit it, so I will never get a chance to forgive him. He must apologize first. But now that I am older (22) my relationship with him has gotten very very cold...and I live with him. He has been with my stepmom (Who my mom suspects is the one he cheated with) for about 11 years now. Her presence has put a HUGE strain on a very close bond I had with my dad.

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

Something Im not proud of, but yes I have cheated on partners. 2 partners who I was madly in love with. I really dont understand why I have though, but I am ashamed of it. Although there is no excuse for it, I am quite sure that my father cheating is the reason why I have done it. Some kind of subconcious thing which I really wish I knew how to rid myself of it. I have been pondering seeking professional help with this. It's hard to help myself because I am having a hard time making the connection between his cheating influencing my cheating, but it is the only reason I can think of that is somewhat logical.

[CC Deville]

1. Which parent cheated?

Adopted Dad

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

Still together, but I just found out there is a 20 year old son from his affair.

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

I JUST found out. It's weird cause my little brother told me. Not sure why when he turned 18 they felt he should know, probably because he is biologically his son and shares the same last name, while I do not. I think maybe the parents are afraid that the 20 year old "love child" will show up on their doorstep someday and are preparing my little bro. My little sister is underage. Maybe that will be one of her birthday presents for her 18th....pfft....

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do? nope.

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not? I am so much older now, I am greatly disappointed because I have held all of the men I have dated up to the standards I set from the example of my adopted father who was NOT perfect. I had him on a pedestal and now I know he is human. I don't know the excuse, but they opted to stay together and had 1 or 2 children after (I am not 100% on the "love childs" age.) Neither of them know I know. What do I do next? If they screw up my little sister by telling her at 18 I will want to punch them in the face.

6. Have/would you ever had an affair? I have never been married so No. But I have cheated on boyfriends in the past. I was lashing out.

[drunkgenie]

1. Which parent cheated? my mom..i think

2. What happened to your parents' marriage? their still married, my dad doesnt know

3. What are your feelings on what was happening?i AM feeling that i want to stab my mother

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?NEVER WILL I HATE HER!!

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?no im 13

i found a note under my moms simk from this guy saying he loves her and he likes when they kiss?? my dads in iraq and my moms been going out more than usual

[Mystery82]

1. Which parent cheated?

My father

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

Still married, but in a sexless marriage. No love.

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

Sad. I was 15 years old and my mother talked to me about it, which I think she shouldn't have as it was their marriage, not mine. She received a letter that was directed to my father with some results saying that he had Syphilis. She went to me crying. I remember my father denying it at first, saying the my mother had given him the disease, until he accepted it the next day. The he was crying and begging for forgiveness.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

No

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

He didn't cheat on me, he cheated on my mother, so no need for me to forgive him. My mom did forgive him, but there has always been resentment. I would have preferred for them to have divorced.

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

Emotional

[BellaStranger]

1. Which parent cheated?

Father- twice

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

My parents got back together the first time, but my mum threw my dad out the second time and they divorced years later. My dad is now married to the woman he left us for and they have a new family (this was around 17 years ago) but my mum never re-married and has never even had another bf as far as I am aware.

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

I was really young- 7 or 8- I blamed my father for the changes in my life that I was out of control of. We had to move house and went from having everything we wanted to living in a pokey flat, sleeping on the floor. I also witnessed my mum fill up with a lot of sadness that has never truly gone away and built up a lot of anger towards my dad.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

No

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

No and I never will. I feel I have had a better life without him in it (well, rarely in it) but I have no respect, care or love for him. He is just a peson who is there, that I have to see sometimes.

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

I would love to say no to both. I have never been married but I think both would be a yes. I have A LOT of issues around relationships, that may or may not stem from my 'broken home' and even despite my knowledge of how damaging affairs are first hand, I have made many mistakes and until I start dealing with my problems will probably make many more.

[Mandyxoxo]

1. Which parent cheated?

Father

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

they are in the middle of a divorce

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

I was really sad at first because i was just 10 when it started and now im 14 and its still going on. He took all of my mums money because they shared buisnesses together and gambled away £300,000. he even has got himself in to nearly 1 million pounds in debt in which my mum has to try and pay off. She has to work from 11 am to 12:30 in the morning otherwise we would lose the buisnesses. my dad acts lke he's the victim. My sister is 6 and she doesnt understand what is going on so she still defends him. I became anorexic and self harmed.

i dont really know exactly why. Just depressed i guess.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

i didnt know for sure but i saw him deleting photos of a woman on his phone and he got all angry when i asked him about it. i didnt tell my mum. i regret that now.

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

Hell no. the fact that he is my dad and i share DNA with him makes me want to vomit. i dont even want to call him dad.

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

I think i would rather have a heart attack. The thought of it disgusts me.

[Sosadandmad]

Um yeah just going thur the same thing.

My mum doesnt know, only I do.

I really want to say something, but my dad will leave for the bimbo (who will talk him into having a baby/getting married, so my bro, mum and I will have no money/receive little inheirtance)

i have to protect my mum and lil bro, so thats why im not saying anything.

im just really sad that my dad could do this, he was my best friend and i worshipped the ground he walked on.

I wanted to marry a man just like him, etc.

Now I feel i dont want to get married/have kids, even though ive always wanted to. thats all i wanted from life was a nice, caring family.

im just venting here.

how do i move pass this? and forget? its so hard to concentrate at uni.

im only 17.

[Rosesong18]

1. Which parent cheated?

My dad

2. What happened to your parents' marriage? They divorced after the third time he continued cheating

3. What were your feelings on what was happening? I had no idea until years after the fact

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do? no i did not

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not? no I haven't, because it ruined me, my family, and my siblings because the woman he evnetually married and has made our life hard

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

I would never do that to my family, becasue i know what it does

[maddiemac11]

i'm going through almost the exact same thing.

[Nicole927]

I'm not even sure where to go for this, but I REALLY need some advice.

 

About three weeks ago, I went in to my dad's office to tell him good night, like I do every night, and I happened to glance at his computer screen. Normally, he's got work stuff up, or a news article, but this time, there was an email. I didn't read it, but some words jumped out to me: "anticipation, kiss, touch, desire, skin." It was NOT addressed to my mother. And it wasn't his normal email, either. It was a different address, but I only saw it for like three seconds, so I can't remember what either of them were. I freaked out, but didn't say anything. A few days later, my dad left to run an errand, so I tried to find the email on his computer.

 

I KNOW. Snooping is wrong, and bad, and whatever. So is cheating on my mom. But my dad has never really been one to have anything private (or to my knowledge he hasn't), and has always let me borrow his computer without asking.

 

I couldn't find the email, and he has his internet set up not to save his browsing history. However, I found something worse. Up to this point, I had almost convinced myself that I imagined it, or took what I saw way out of context. But then I found pictures. There was a folder titled "work stuff 2," but in it were about a hundred pictures of some woman. They had titles like "Leah's sexy eyes" or "bikini pic." I emailed myself a copy of all the pictures for proof, but as of yet, I haven't done anything with them. For the last couple weeks, nothing else has really happened, until a couple days ago. He left his computer out in plain sight, with a 32 page file pulled up titled "How to seduce women." And then, today, he took his computer upstairs, which he never does, and started having an ichat conversation with a woman. I stood outside the room and listened in on the conversation. He was complaining about my mom, and how we was mad at her for something. So this woman obviously knows my dad is married. She may very well be married herself, I don't know. Then he said "I miss you." And started talking about some letter he had sent her.

 

I don't know what to do. I'm 99% confident that he's having an affair, although there's no "real" evidence. I think my mom suspects something is going on, because my dad is being really rude to her for no reason, and completely ignores her half the time. But the other day she said "I don't want to know what his problem is." So maybe she wants to be in denial? I sure wish I could be. But do I confront my dad? Tell my mom? Sit them both down and talk to them together? Not do anything? I'm so lost.

 

I'm 18, and about to graduate high school. I'm terrified to do anything, because I don't want them to split up, and then I'll leave my mom, too, when I go to college. And I don't think she can handle that, nor can I. But every time I see my dad, I just want to punch him. It's killing my relationship with him. I can't hold a conversation with him, and I get angry at the littlest things he does, because all I think about is him with another woman. I cry almost every night thinking about it, and nearly had a mental breakdown during school one day. I don't get much sleep, because I'm so stressed over it, and I've neglected my homework. Thank goodness I'm a senior, and don't have much, or I'd probably be failing.

 

Also, he talks about MY personal life with this woman. He talks about my college decisions, and my friends, and what I'm doing that weekend, and things that I DON'T WANT THIS STRANGER TO KNOW. I mean, he's my dad and all, and he has a right to know all of this about me, but this woman doesn't! It infuriates me that he does this.

 

He walks around with this smug look on his face, like he has a secret, or like a kid who's snuck a piece of candy before dinner and gotten away with it. And I honestly want to scream at him. Or find this "Leah" woman, and tell her to stop ruining my life. I just can't believe my dad would do something like this. He was a minister in our old church when I was a kid. We go to church all the time. How could someone claim to be a Christian and then do something so hypocritical?

 

It's currently 1:20 am, and he's in his office talking to some woman. The same woman as earlier? I don't know, but it's definitely a woman. My dad's not very sneaky, although he clearly thinks he is. WHO does he need to be talking to a one in the morning? But I'm not going to sleep until he does. I can't. I'm stressed and freaked out.

 

I'm considering making an appointment with my school counselor to talk about this, but I don't know what she can really do to help. Plus, my younger sister goes to my school (she's 16), and I don't want her to know about it unless she absolutely has to, and I'm afraid my counselor might tell her.

 

All I know, is that I can't keep this to myself much longer. I feel like I'm going to explode. I think I've done a pretty good job at masking my true feelings around everyone, but I know it's unhealthy to keep stuff like this inside. I just don't know where to go from here. PLEASE HELP ME.

 

Please, if you have any advice, reply to this, message me, or email me here link removed[/i]"]

[MoTay]

The standard answer is to MYOB. I know it sucks. Totally. But ultimately this is between your parents, and there's really no way for you to constructively involve yourself in their relationship.

 

I'm really sorry for you going through this. Hang in there.

[mrmaximum]

From people who know far more than I. In a similar situation, this is what I had read, okay?

 

You are indeed loved. It may not feel like that but you are. That the marriage problems are not yours. They aren't your fault, so please do not think that they are!! The knight that you thought was your father was may not be what you thought, but that does not negate the love he has toward you.

 

If you feel comfortable, you must tell your mother because to not do that would hurt your relationship with your mother. Hard as it may be, it must be done.

 

You are dealing with adult issues that you should never, ever have to deal with and that you should not feel responsible in any way.

 

Your life, your future, doesn't depend on what is happening now with your parents. That in the end, YOUR life is YOUR own.

 

You are loved. Adults, parents, are not perfect and learning that is a hard, tough, realizatation, but it has nothing to do with loving a daugher.

 

He loves you. She loves you. Your parents love you. They do

 

Those aren't my words...I have the deepest sympathy for what you are going through, you do not deserve this, not at all. Which child deserves to find out that the very foundations of their lives are build on quicksand? Once more...THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT. As a parent...and I am one...it's our job to maintain a stable foundation to those in our charge.

[Country_Girl]

Dear Nicole927,

 

I know exactly what your going through, except it was my mom instead of my dad. I found out the same way you did by an email i read over her shoulder. I am also 18 and this came up the beginning of my junior year and i was able to keep it from my dad until October of last year. When i found out i didn't know what to do, because all i could think about was my future and the future of my 2 younger brothers who are 13 and 15. so i decided to keep it to myself, but the pain became to overwhelming and it showed physically and mentally how much it was affecting me. Then one day at school, one my teachers who i consider my second mom, demanded to know what was wrong with me, so i explained the situation and she tried to help me as much as i could. You mentioned seeing a school counselor, i decided to do that and all she did was call and try to schedule a meeting between me and my mom to discuss the situation, and then she wanted me to go see a therapist, but i didn't want any part in that. So i decided to confront my mom with the situation, when i talked to her i asked my grandma to help. when we talked to her she immediately felt guilty and said she would stop, but she didn't so i decided to keep watch on her and found out she was seeing multiple men. when i found all this out i never thought of telling my father, but then somehow my relatives found out and his whole side of the family and i knew then that i would have to tell him. Back in October of last year i finally had to break it to him, but i pretty much forced to by my family. It was the hardest thing i ever did, but it was the right thing to do. If your not careful, this problem can eat you up inside and turn you bitter. It happened to me but then my teacher helped me realize that i couldn't keep this too myself because it wasn't my problem to deal with, it was something for my parents to deal with. Keeping the problem to myself caused me to have breakdowns in the middle of class, it hurt my grades, and affected me physically. But now that i look back on the decision i made to tell him, i have become a stronger person. This situation really caused me to grow up and that is the positive thing that came out of it all.

 

So out of my really long message i hope that you can find a way to solve your problems. I would say to confront your dad first and see if you can make him stop without telling your mom, but if you realize it doesn't work, then i would suggest telling your mom. But then again, its whatever you feel is right, you know your parents better than i do. but if you ever need to talk i'm here, i've gone through the exact same thing you have and i know how painful it is, but i prayed every night and the lord answered my prayers. I hope that doesn't offend you in anyway because i don't know if your religious or not.

 

Sincerely,

Country_Girl

[tiffyb]

1. my dad cheated on my mom.

2. they stayed together and i dont know why.

3. i was young but i knew. it was obvious. i was very very hurt by it seeing my mom

cry all the time & not being interested in me...

4. no i did not know about it before she did.

5. not really. still makes me angry. i was 10 then. now im 40 & i still remember just like

it was yesterday

6. never! my husband cheated on me 6 months ago...it hurts too bad. read my thread..

"soooooo tired of cryin..."

[HannahAyleene]

1. my dad cheated on my mom. for several years.

 

2. after 5 years, my mom kicked him out. She wants a divorce but he wont sign the papers. He moved back in after a year while we were out of town.

 

3. no one told me anything. I was mad at my mom for kicking him out. Then i found out he cheated, so i was mad at him. Then she always talked bad about him but he still loved her, so i was mad at her. But then they finally shared with me that his affairs were gay affairs, and i have yet to get over that.

 

4. I didnt know even know why he got kicked out til 2 months after he moved. Apparently he had been cheating for 5 years.

 

5. I thought I had, but recently it's all been coming back. I cry a lot. And I'm really mad at my dad.

 

6. I would never cheat on someone. I've seen what it does to someone. People have asked me to help them cheat, and i stop talking to them cause that describes a person. Cheating makes you who you are. and it makes your partner who they are too. Trust issues much?

[frwedom]

1. Which parent cheated?

My Mom

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

Nothing yet, still together...she had an affair a year back or so, stopped but now i think she's starting again

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

i was disgusted and felt very betrayed and i still do. I'm the only sibling out of the 3 kids that know. My dad knows about the affair and chose to forgive her, but i don't know if he knows about this new, maybe, affair. I'm just so confused on whether to trust her any more. i mean she still is my mother.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

No unfortunately i didn't and did nothing so far. I don't know what to do...... i only started to become suspicious when my mom told me she was just going out for a bit with her friends one friday night. she also promised me that she was going to take me to the mall the next day. But she never came back. this weekend was chinese new year and when my family went to the party 2 days after my mom left, still gone, they all just asked where my mother was. All the 3 of us could say was i don't know and that was the truth, really none of us knew but my father of course. i felt embarrassed and very mad because i just felt useless and scared. She was only gone for 3-4 days but each night i had to cry myself to sleep but even then i would wake up after an hour or 3 to see if she was back. She was gone until moday, everybody acted "normal", but i thought to myself how do you act normal...A few days after this happened, i got curious and wonder if the person my dad was texting that weekend was my mother. (oh i hope so much it wasn't and my guess was wrong) to my surprise i was right. There i found out that my mom was having an affair and that weekend she was gone was spent with him. i was furious sad and felt that my trust with her, my opinion of her will never be the same again. Now a year later, it had stopped but i'm still curios IF she would do it again. so i often check her phone (i know invasion of privacy but what is a child to do?) Anyway, i found out this person is a co-worker from her work and he has been texting her that it be ok if they were to just meet outside of work and of course she says no but it is with a "?". i'm now very confused and hurt even more.....

 

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

i don't know if i could, again. It was hard enough the first time but i just don't know if i could forgive my mother...

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

No, hell no...Well i really don't know yet considering i only turned 14 last year and have not yet had a serious relationship with anyone. But i think i wouldn't...

[AmberDawnx]

1. Which parent cheated?

My Dad

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

Nothing. My mom is acting like nothing happened.

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

Anger and disgust. I hate being in the same room with him. My dad is mean to me like it's my fault. I feel depressed when he's around me.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? Yeah.

 

What did you do?

I straight up told my mom. My dad flat out lied.

 

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

No. I don't think I could now. I want to tho.

 

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

No.

[Roxyroo]

Hi, I only found out my dad has been having an affair three days ago and I really didnt know how to confront him, he did it with a family friend too so I'm super angry with her too. I finally put my feelings down on paper and have written him a 3 page letter telling him everything i needed to, this way i wont hear his excuses or defences, maybe you could try this too, this way your mum cant lie to your face, she can't lie to a letter and it might hit home, you never know. Good luck with it anyway x

[PhysicsHippie]

1. Which parent cheated?

My dad

 

2. What happened to your parents' marriage?

They are currently going through a divorce after being married for 22 years

 

3. What were your feelings on what was happening?

Well I just found out yesterday while I've been away at an internship for the summer. I was devistated. It's difficult enough that he's my father, but the fact that I was always a "daddy's girl" (go fishing, camping, hang out outside) really make the situation difficult for me. I feel betrayed that he could do such a thing and not think about the consequences. What's worse is the other woman is also married and has two teenage children. I've been talking with my mom trying to comfort her and know that I'll be there for her when I get back home, but I really wish I could punch my dad in the face right now because I'm so angry and can't think of forgiveness right now.

 

4. Did you ever know about the affair before it was known to your parent who was not cheating? What did you do?

Thank God no... my mom had to actually keep it from me for a few weeks since my dad wanted to tell me himself, but she hasn't been sleeping and accidentally told me over email. I'm glad she did so she's not alone in dealing with this (I have a brother back home, but he's grown up with 2 jobs and is very busy and is doing as much as he can)

5. Did you forgive your cheating parent or not?

Right now I feel like I can't. My mind keeps skipping from being sickened about looking at his face, and then thinking about us going out fishing like before I left. I really don't know what I'm going to do when he comes to meet me at the airport since I promised my mom I wouldn't tell him that she told me (I don't want to cause any divorsal problems). I want to forgive him, but not anytime soon. And I sure as heck not going to meet his mistress-thing.

6. Have/would you ever had an affair?

No, no and more noooo. I would have never cheated before this situation, and I am guaranteed not to tolerate it now. I believe someone above me said that if you're unhappy in a relationship, get out. There's no reason to put someone through feeling guilty and useless by cheating. Because my mom is being such a strong person in this situation (she's gotten divorce papers, but is keeping back her emotions so she can keep the house for us kids), I now know that if I am ever cheated on, that I would not want to stay with them. Once a cheater, always a cheater.