Romance?????

[flower99]

What is romance??

Is it necessary?

 

I don't consider myself a big romantic. But that doesn't mean that we don't express love in my relationship. We just don't do picnics at work, candle light dinners, flowers every week......ect.

 

But a friends of mine has gotten into a new relationship (2 weeks) & is now trying to teach my finacee & I to be more romantic - like them.

She says we could learn from them. (I found that a little insulting, I didn't think we had a problem)

 

How can I explain it to her......I'm just not like that

She makes me feel like something is wrong with us.

 

what do you guys think?

 

 

What is considered romance? how frequent & necessary is it in a relationship?

[BellaDonna]

What is considered romance? how frequent & necessary is it in a relationship?

 

Truly, this depends on the couple. If you and your boyfriend are happy with the way things are, then you do not need anyone giving you lessons.

 

I guess there are many definitions for "romance"

link removed

 

Flowers, love notes and picnics are not necessary for all couples. I think in general, expressing your love and making your partner feel special/appreciated is always valuable in a relationship, but each person and couple have their own way of doing that and know what works for them. It does not have to involve flowers and frills.

 

BellaDonna

[Beec]

I recently made copies of pictures for my woman, pictures of her family for a place. I did it to make it feel more like home. That was romantic. It was simply because it was me thinking about what she might want or need and meeting her wants or needs, even before she asked.

 

Romance is all about meeting the emotional wants and needs of your partner, not someone else's. You seem to be fine as a couple, if you both think you are, so tell her you are fine.

[TheRedQueen]

If you are generally happy and satisfied with your relationship, where and what's the problem?

 

Love takes precedence over "romance", just as reality takes precedence over fantasy, (for me at least).

 

Roses, red hearts, doilies and Valentines day, romantic to some, utterly ridiculous to me.

[flower99]

thank you, so much bella...Your words really helped ease my concerns. Every couple does have thier own way of makeing the other feel special & valuable (: It doesn't have to be flower & frills. thank you!

 

And beec...that was so sweet of you to do for your women. I liked what you said about romance is meeting the wants & needs partner not someone else's. That helped put things back into perspective. thank you

[flower99]

If you are generally happy and satisfied with your relationship, where and what's the problem?

 

I guess the problem is, a seed of doubt planted by a friend and causing me to question whether romance has to be forever present. but Now I feel better thanks to you guys

wish my friend didn't judge our relationship just because it isn't roses, red hearts & doilies & picnics...oh well, that's her opinion, I guess I should accpet that.

 

 

Love takes precedence over "romance", just as reality takes precedence over fantasy, (for me at least).

 

Roses, red hearts, doilies and Valentines day, romantic to some, utterly ridiculous to me.

 

Yey!!! thank you. I am the exact same. And I wasn't sure if I was the only women who felt that, but now I know I'm not....Thank you Red Queen

[RayKay]

Truly, I would be offended too if a "friend" told me two weeks into her own relationship how things should be done! Yikes, she is still in the "honeymoon stage" yet and has no idea where it will go, and what it will be like in the long run!

 

Anyway, honestly, I have never been about the big romantic gestures. I am pretty down to earth, and think the "little" things are more important - actions out of love, not out of romantic impressions.

 

"Romantic" to me is just letting one another know you care about their feelings and needs, and just committing to the partnership.

 

Just as off note, what will happen in a while in your friends relationship when the "romance" dies down? Will she decide that love isn't enough? Partnership is not enough? And so on?

 

If he is showing his commitment to you for life in his words and actions, heck he asked you to marry him, that is way more important than roses and picnics in my opinion!

[Momene]

I found my wife and daughter giving me a solar telescope for my 50th birthday a really loving gesture.

 

It's all about how each individual feels and "romance" to one may seem like cliched to another.

[RayKay]

Speaking of "romance" I came home and found a big pack of hangers on my bed yesterday afternoon - my boyfriend noticed I was short and had run out and could not hang up all my stuff in my wardrobe. A "little" thing and in themselves purely UNromantic, but one of those things that lets me know he was thinking of me.

[Helen67]

I think you again have basically summed it up!!

 

Concentrate on you fiancee, and what you have together Flower, you have so much more than your friend! If ppl have to have all the romantic trimmings, how long does one keep it up? And what happens when the trimmings aren't there anymore?

 

All the best.......Helen

[flower99]

Speaking of "romance" I came home and found a big pack of hangers on my bed yesterday afternoon - my boyfriend noticed I was short and had run out and could not hang up all my stuff in my wardrobe. A "little" thing and in themselves purely UNromantic, but one of those things that lets me know he was thinking of me.

 

Awwww....that is so sweet of him!

that made me smile...probably not as big as you though.

But seriously Thanks you for your words, especially the "I am pretty down to earth, and think the "little" things are more important - actions out of love, not out of romantic impressions."

[flower99]

I found my wife and daughter giving me a solar telescope for my 50th birthday a really loving gesture.

 

It's all about how each individual feels and "romance" to one may seem like cliched to another.

 

A telescope, that is awesome....very thoughtful & loving

thank you Momene

[flower99]

I think you again have basically summed it up!!

 

Concentrate on you fiancee, and what you have together Flower, you have so much more than your friend! If ppl have to have all the romantic trimmings, how long does one keep it up? And what happens when the trimmings aren't there anymore?

 

All the best.......Helen

 

That's how I feel (: thank you so much Helen

[Pera]

You can not possibly try to separate love from romance or say that one takes precedence over another. Where is love there is passion and where is passion there is romance. It maybe a bouquet of red roses for some and a nice telescope for another. But romance do exist in every relationship in different forms.

 

To the OP, maybe try telling your friend that romance does not equal bouquet of red roses but rather a gesture that creates pleasure of having your emotions tingled?

 

/cheers