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Pera

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Everything posted by Pera

  1. You can not possibly try to separate love from romance or say that one takes precedence over another. Where is love there is passion and where is passion there is romance. It maybe a bouquet of red roses for some and a nice telescope for another. But romance do exist in every relationship in different forms. To the OP, maybe try telling your friend that romance does not equal bouquet of red roses but rather a gesture that creates pleasure of having your emotions tingled? /cheers
  2. Love is a very veryb powerful word to use. What "Exactly" do you "love" about her?
  3. Just a bit of an advice. The worst thing you can do in life is to depend on somebody else to feel "good". I think you might want to start learning how to be happy by yourself and try to be a bit more independent. There are some good books out there that will help you break that dependency towards your partner. Trust me once you are in peace internally with yourself than you will have a much easier time dealing with these kind of situations. /cheers
  4. yc in all honesty it sounds like you lack of self-esteem and self-awareness to go out start dating again. I think it is not that you think you don't have the energy but rather you think that you might not be able to find anyone else. I myself used to have same problems as your bf did. Also I am in a relationship in which me and my (now) fiancee went through exact same things. Everytime she wanted something from me, it would always annoy me because it was not what "I" thought we should do at that moment. I used to play computer games 6-7 hours a day when I was in college and try to avoid her as much as I can. Why? It wasn't because I didn't care about her, but rather I had a lot to deal with and when I played computer games I didn't have to think about any of my problems. It was like my secret place where I could be engaged with something that could totally take my mind off of my problems. Well... we went through a lot. I mean I acted the same way towards her as your bf did. I tried to break up with her many times not because I didn't love her but because I thought I would have more time to play... It was all settled when I was finally forced to "choose" because she broke up with me and told me that she would not go through this anymore. She started dating around and I went through a stage in my life where I had to put things in place and get my priorities straight. Finally I found enough courage to face my problems and quit playing computer games. Well I shouldn't say quit but more like I do it in "moderation". She always comes firts because I would not trade her for anything especially not for a stupid computer game. I wish the best of luck to you but If he is anything like I was back in the day than you will go through a lot of tough times. I think you should decide if he is worth or not and take the necessary action. Because trust me he could keep this up forever if you don't act.
  5. Bill, In a relationship where you are questioning the faith of your girl in you, always, I say this again ALWAYS trust your instincts. From what you have typed you sound like a reasonable guy that won't go into a jelous rage just because. Now, I think this is obvious that she is more interested in John than she is in you. My advice to you is that you should get yourself used to the idea of breaking up. Because you are at a point right now where you are a "comfort" for her rather than a "boy friend". She knows you are there for her and she knows you care about her. In this kind of situations where you "feel" that your woman is drifting away slowly and you want to act, the best thing to do is to slowly pull yourself away from her and see if she "achknowledges". Don't try to talk to her about this more than once. This would further convince her that you are at her mercy. If she loves you, cares about you and "truly" more into you than John, then she should realize whats going on. If not than she s not worth it. Trust me, if you start pulling yourself away she will start getting uncomfortable. When she gets uncomfortable, she will start thinking about you and the thought of losing you. When she believes that she "might" lose you, than, and only than she will choose. Hope the best for ya. /cheers
  6. Hey, Thanks for the response. I completely agree with your post. I know very well that the grass is not greener on the other side and that is so true. The problem is I know that if I break up with my fiancee and find another girl, its just going to end up in the same situtation. After the initial exciment, I will start feeling the "need" to meet other woman. I mean I know that she is great and I am so lucky to be able to find someone that I can trust blindfolded. I know most of my friends would give up their left n*** to be with her. But still I just can't seem to stop being interested with other woman. I also know that I love her very much and I would do anything and everything to make her happy. I know that I had some minor incidents in the past and we got over all that. But still I hate this feeling... It is almost like an addiction that I can't seem to get rid off...
  7. Hey everyone, This is my first time posting here and I am hoping to get some advice/information about my relationship. It all started about 3 years ago when I was in college... I had a very rough relationship in high school (for about 4 years), which seriously hurt me physicologically. I had lost all my trust and hope in women at that time. Then after being single for about 3 years and trying to regain my trust in women, I have finally met a female that I know I could be with (junior in college). During that 3 years from being a senior in high school to being a junior in college I have had short affairs with other women but I was afraid to be heart broken again so I never committed to anyone. Also I don't think there was anyone that I was "that" interested with. Well that all changed when I met my "now" fiancee. She was everything and anything I could ask for. She is considered a very beautiful woman by all my friends and also have such good personality. She loves kids and has this thing about kids that is almost magical. She has my complete trust and love. We have been together for 3 years (from junior in college to present time) and our relationship is one that most people envy. However, I do have one small problem... No matter how much I love her, care about her, or appreciate her, for some reason I can't stop being interested with "other" woman. I try to avoid situations where I could be with another woman whenever I travel (for work) but one way or another I end up meeting very very interesting females. I know that I am not "looking" for another person to spend the rest of my life with because I know I already found her. But why is it that I am also still attracted by other woman not just physically but also emotionally? I can't, no matter how hard I think find an answer for this. I hope someone that is been in a similar situation would like to discuss this with me. Thanks everyone in advance /cheers
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