Ex sending mixed signals about being in my life

[InLoveAndWaiting]

My ex and I split up back in June after a 6 month relationship. She is 27 and has 2 kids and I am 26. We still care about each other very much. We went thru a period where she didn't really want me to call, didn't want to see me at all. She said she needed her time and she didn't know what she wanted. She has recently come back into my life, contact initiated by her. We saw each other for the first time in a long while on Nov. 3. She has since been calling almost everyday to talk with me. We are becoming very close again, something I never imagined but hoped for. She knows my feelings for her and that I would want to get back together, I know she doesn't want to be in a relationship now, until her financial situation is better and she feels she is ready.

 

I'm not sure if she is afraid of commitment, but believe she is to a degree. I love her more than anything, and would like a relationship with her again. Question - Since she initiated the breakup, I should let her bring up getting back together right? The 2nd time around isn't as easy as the 1st because, I don't believe in trying to fix something, you should want to start something new. How slow should things go between us if we give US another chance? I believe we moved too fast the 1st time around and that was part reason for our split. What things should I look for if she is getting interested in me again? I don't want to bring up getting back together for fear I will push her away again. She is talking to me again just like she did when our 1st relationship was just getting started.

 

I believe that our break up was due more to financial stress and being unhappy with our recent move together where neither one of us really liked our jobs or the move, we did initially though. I believe this was associated with being unhappy with each other, can that be true?

[robowarrior]

Every household needs a proper structure and fundament to stand on. Or in other words everything, yes everything in life has to be properly arranged. The finances, the household, the tasks that have to been done.

 

Replacing all the chaos with order is a priority. I mean basically your previous relationship with her was caused by all the chaos, if you can remove the chaos and the financial misery you could form a relationship again with her. Or in other words only if the problems are removed that caused you two to break up in the first place, are gone then you can initiate and sustain a long term relationship. However, (assuming you are better in dealing with finances then her) only go into the relationship on the condition of you being in charge of the finances.

[InLoveAndWaiting]

Anyone have any advice on the questions in paragraph 2 and 3?

[Ripples]

Parapgraph 2 - If she is leaving you in limbo then that is selfish of her. She left you, she must come back to you. She is either in or out, there can be no inbetween. Trust me, inbetween will result in nothing but pain for you especially when she announces that hse has met someone else. Find your pride tell her you love her but the current situation is not helping your well being and so thereforeeee you must withdraw to deal. In the interim if feels she deifinitely wants to get back together then she can contact you. If not then she must move on too. The decsion to give you another go is hers. The decision to give her another go is yours. Her move first.

 

Paragraph 3 - Sounds feasible. Ask her!