blueberrypie Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Has anyone met their ex hoping that they would get back together only to realize that you've grown out of your ex? Or were they exactly as you remembered, or even better? How long after the breakup did you see each other? Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I have...and realized I was pretty much over them. Time and distance does wonders for those "rose colored glasses". Makes you see things MUCH much clearer and objectively. As for the time apart......a few months probably...but no less than 30 days. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Yep. A guy I "dated" a few years ago was more wishy washy than anyone I've ever known. Our relationship was constantly on again, off again. Me always giving in and allowing him back into my life. Then finally, several months of no contact and me moving on with my life in many ways. And he tells my sister he "has" to talk to me blah blah blah. I told him to come over. I thought it'd be interesting seeing him plead his case. (I'd seen it a million times and given in.) I pretty much told him I was very different and that we'd never be together. And sent him on his way. Ha the drive was a waste of his time. Just like him being in my life (previously) was a waste of my time. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Has anyone met their ex hoping that they would get back together only to realize that you've grown out of your ex? Yes, I saw my ex a few months after our break-up, and it just didn't click, sexually it was great, emotionally no, so we are attempting a friendship, we shall see, but I doubt it will work as he wants more. Link to comment
TiredMan Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Yep. A guy I "dated" a few years ago was more wishy washy than anyone I've ever known. Our relationship was constantly on again, off again. Me always giving in and allowing him back into my life. Then finally, several months of no contact and me moving on with my life in many ways. And he tells my sister he "has" to talk to me blah blah blah. I told him to come over. I thought it'd be interesting seeing him plead his case. (I'd seen it a million times and given in.) I pretty much told him I was very different and that we'd never be together. And sent him on his way. Ha the drive was a waste of his time. Just like him being in my life (previously) was a waste of my time. Toying with his emotions to amuse yourself must have seemed like a good idea huh? ](*,) Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Toying with his emotions to amuse yourself must have seemed like a good idea huh? ](*,) TiredMan, At one time I thought I was in love with him. He'd walk in and out of my life. Even bought me an engagement ring and proposed. But told me 29 days later he changed his mind and needed the ring back to return to the store. He gave me the same ol mumbo jumbo I love ya and miss ya story as always. And hinted at us being physical. I actually told him we'd see how it'd go but I was very different and not to even expect anything physical for months before telling him to go home. Surprise, surprise, I didn't hear from him again. If he really missed me and cared, I would have heard from him again. IT was all a game for him. He had me at his beck and call during our relationship. Yes, I was amused at turning the tables around. Sorry if that's cold to some but after so many games and emotional sadness because of him. And I don't think it hurt him one bit. I think he was just trying to start the rollercoaster of having me at his beck and call until he was ready to throw me away again. Link to comment
TiredMan Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Just know that by stooping to that level, you are no better than he was. I don't think it was a game when he bought the ring. I'm sure that cost him a pretty penny (my views on engagement rings being unnecessary and silly are in a whole other thread). I understand your frustration but at the same time, like I said, having someone cold all the way over there to let him down puts you in the same boat. And believe me, I am spiteful too. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 I truly respect your opinion on this. Who knows? Maybe if he'd seemed like he grew up or was honest, I would have fallen for his line of xxxx. I paid him the respect of hearing him out after months. And you're right, the ring probably wasn't a game. But he was the most indecisive "man" I've ever met in my life. It was a 20 minute drive. Being spiteful is not a part of me typically. Guess this guy just pushed my limits. Link to comment
TiredMan Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Believe me, I understand being spiteful when u think someone is jerking u around. I know all about people being indecisiveness. If that is the case, I doubt he is doing it on purpose. He probably makes a choice and second guesses himself. THat is hardly a game as I'm sure he feels bad about it internally as well. Link to comment
Mstyiyd Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 yes I have held out great hope, but she is still the same, a yr later....still playing around and partying......not in a relationship (yet). Everyone says it is her loss....still hard for me, though. I know I can do better.......i Just need my heart to catch up w/my head! Link to comment
chai714 Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Yes, I saw my ex a few months after our break-up, and it just didn't click, sexually it was great, emotionally no, so we are attempting a friendship, we shall see, but I doubt it will work as he wants more. I don't believe a real friend will try to sleep with you nor should you sleep with him if you only consider him "a friend." This often happens with exes but in reality, friends don't sleep with each other. Has anyone met their ex hoping that they would get back together only to realize that you've grown out of your ex? Or were they exactly as you remembered, or even better? How long after the breakup did you see each other? People can grow apart, but generally stay the same at their most inner core. Their likes and dislikes rarely change, especially as they get older. I've seen an ex who asked if we were "friends." I replied, "No, you're not my friend because I am not friends with women I am attracted to. If I were your friend, I wouldn't want to sleep with you." Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted November 1, 2006 Share Posted November 1, 2006 Yes, I saw my ex a few months after our break-up, and it just didn't click, sexually it was great, emotionally no, so we are attempting a friendship, we shall see, but I doubt it will work as he wants more. When a couple breaks up I often wonder how long they will still be having sex for? Make all the judgements you want about the question but I believe that it says something about them when they still engage in sexual activity with an ex. Sex with an ex is pointless if you are looking to rekindle something, all it will ever be is just sex. People often look at it as being beneficial because they dont have to search for a new partner and all this means is that both people dont have any other options at the moment and they still want to have sex. I believe that it is a step in the wrong direction to sleep with an ex. The sex is great for a reason and is because there is history there and emotions. Having sex with an ex in hopes to get back together is probably one of the worst things you can do and that is because it gets your hopes up. The last thing you need when you are trying to get back with an ex is the hope that you two will get back together when the truth is that you wont. Link to comment
Mstyiyd Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 daywalker...you hit the nail on the head, so to speak. My ex, with whom I'm attempting some sort of (twisted in my eyes) "friendship", slept in my bed with me over the past wkend....in HER SLEEPING BAG! With me sleeping in my bed like a normal person. She said she "just couldn't" sleep on the couch. That is what I don't get. After giving me a stern talk about how we're only friends, never gonna be more, she regrets every day us sleeping together for about a yr bec she had just gotten out of an 8yr rel., and anyone in her position would have done the same due to being vulnerable..........etc etc. I agree, ppl can change, but it takes alot of work, and most ppl are "their core" as smone else said. Some of my friends think she is working her way up to making a pass at me......but as much as I want to be intimate with her, unless she wants a relationship with me, I can't go there. Not after all the pain I've been thru already. Link to comment
Mstyiyd Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 I'm horny as hell (sorry for the TMI) but I won't sleep with her, gonna try my hardest not to should she make a pass at me, because I'll be back to square one. I think exes do this because of the comfort level........and my ex, although she parties alot she doesnt sleep around, so right there, ............ Link to comment
PeteZahut Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 i haven't 'met' my ex yet...we just broke up less than 2 weeks ago (after about 2 years together) and she goes away to college...we have agreed to be friends and continue talking as if very little has changed (probably not a healthy thing)... however, the thing that keeps me going right now is the hope that we'll both stay friends for the next couple of years and that when we both 'grow up' and become more 'adult-like', we can get back together and do things differently... i know that both of us will always be our 'inner core' (i'm a prototypical nice guy and she's an absolute sweetheart) no matter how much we change the next few years... false hope? maybe... Link to comment
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