What is wrong with me!

[Darren1710]

I am going through abit of a rough time at the minute,i think im having an real early mid-life crisis! ive got alot of issues 2 confront but this 1 is bothering me the most!

 

I have only ever been with 2 girls,the first was my first love and was with her for 4 years.I was so in love with her and would of done anything for her! We didnt sleep together for 10 months and i wanted her so badly! We never had a problem with sex. We split up and i never went with anyone till about 4 weeks ago when i met a girl at a shop i was working at.

 

She lived about an hour away from me so could only see her at weekends. before we even went on a first date we txt each other for about 3 weeks.I kind of got to know her but not that well. I really liked her and then we met for the first time and we just jumped into bed with each other. The thing is i kind of had a problem arising to the occasion. she was fine with it.Then i seen her the next weekend and the same thing happened. I was nervous cos i liked her. But we kept trying and then we managed 2 have sex.

 

Then over the next few days things went sour because 2 her sex is a big deal and she needs it alot! Well living far away i cant be there all the time so she started 2 get nasty and we split.

 

The thing is,i dont love her but i have feelings for her cos i slept with her.

I consider sex 2 be something u do when you care for someone and want 2 show them how u feel about them!

 

The reason i could arise to the occasion with her is because it was 2 easy and i didnt have those feelings about her where i wanted 2 show her how i feel!

 

Im just confused! Y do i confuse sex with love??

[vesper]

leave her alone if she wanted to split up with you. you will find another girl thats a good fit. take care.

[Meow18]

I think you just view sex as something really important and that when you share it with another person, they become really special to you.

 

And I don't think it's wrong, but for a lot of people who really view sex as important, it's important that love comes first.

 

I don't think it's worth worrying yourself over. I just think that you need to make sure you love someone before having sex with them. That way maybe it won't become so confusing for you.

[Beec]

Some people can have sex with anyone at the drop of the hat and look at it as mere entertainment. For others, it is a very significant thing and invovles a lot of emotion. For many, it's some wehre in the middle. Your views on it may also change drastically during your lifetime.

 

You happen to fall at one end of the spectrum, and not necassarily the wrong end. I don't see a reason for you to change this, and I don't thik you can change your values this way.

[Cardinal]

Before I can overcome the nerves and perform, I need to feel comfortable with who I am with. It has gotten to the point that when I sleep with a new partner and nothing happens, I just tell her whats up and make sure she is satified. I overcome the issue by just doing it frequently for a week or two...that tends to speed up the whole process of becoming comfortable (and developing feelings for the matter). So I can totally understand how emotions might keep you from being able to perform and why you may need love to do that.

 

You two don't seem like a good match anyhow based on the limited information you have provided us so far. Your needs are different..very different.

[Darren1710]

Yeah we r very different,shes not a very nice person when i got 2 know her so i think that didnt help either. Thanks 4 all the advice!