unforunate bad happenings (help)

[Empty789]

the other night me and my girlfriend who have been together for quite some time now decided to engage in sex for the first time. unfortunately we had never done it before because of the scare of pregnancy. so we took many possible steps to ensure safety. i wore a condom of course, and i know this may sound wrong but was on her period. i knwo that this is the safest time to have sex because there is no egg in plant. she was on her second day of her period which should mean there was nothing there. unfortunately somehow becauase i have terrible luck at the end it broke. not until the VERY end however, and i did not realize it until it felt to be more warm, i pulled out to finish because i was going to pull out anyway when i realized the condom had broke. of course i was scared, who wouldnt be, but also my girlfriend was very emotional. the next morning we went and got plan b. she took both pills as the doctor instructed her. that same day some of side affects kicked in such as nausea, i felt terrible, what guy doesnt when the perosn they love is not feeling well? she went to the bathroom and came back even more emotional. she said her period has stopped. of course i contacted the doctor and he said that this could be possible because of how much estrogen there is in the pill, that this pill could really throw her cycle threw a loop. the doctor worked in labor and delivery so i am pretty sure he knew what he was talking about. yet, she was still a little nervous as was i, i trust the pill, i trust that i pulled out and did not cum inside her, but still wanted another reassurance. today her period picked up again as it was suspected it would, yet it only lasted for about an hour, and then ended again. she said it acted as if it was ending. i understand the pill can throw things off. now she is worried again, i got a doctors opinion and he says it is very very unlikely for a girl to get pregnant on her period espcially since i was wearing a condom till it broke, i did not ejaculate and she was on her period, plus the pill. but i just need feedback from other people i suppose because it helps when you get opinions. please comment

 

thanks

~empty

[AngelEyez]

Well, there's no way of persuading her that she's not going to get pregnant. No matter what the doctor says, she will still think of that chance. Maybe just tell her that no matter what happens, you'll stay with her and support her. I know if this happened to me, I'd be emotional myself as I'm a constant worrier. What if I have a baby? Should I tell my parents? What about schooling? What about my future? All of these questions would run through my head, as I'm sure that's what's happening to her as well. Keep re-assuring her that you'd never leave her side if anything did happen. I hope all goes well.

[michelemybell]

Empty,

As I started reading your post, I was going to suggest Plan B, and I'm so glad you did!

 

I know I'm going to sound like a parent here, but do you really want to go through this kind of stress everytime you have sex? It should be a relaxing experience; not one filled with angst! The best option is for you both to wait to have sex, because you're risking a lot here. But if you aren't planning on stopping, your girlfriend should be on birth control pills (or another form, like the patch) in addition to you using a properly fitting condoms.

 

Also, you dont have to fully ejaculate for pregnancy to happen. Pre-cum contains sperm too. And while pregnancy during menstruation is unlikely, it can still happen. So, just be better informed and prepared if you plan on having sex again.

I know the first time I had sex, I was worried so much that I delayed my period! I highly doubt she is pregnant (Since it is unlikely that you got her prego in the first place and she took Plan B on top of that) but she's going to be a nervous wreck regardless.

[Aschleigh]

She can get on some kind of regular birth control, like the depo-provera shot, taken once every three months , it inhibits ovulation for 3 months, or the birth control pill, many other options. You did the right thing. But now think about the long term of preventing pregnancy if you are going to be having a sexual relationship.

[arwen]

You were very careful and did the right thing. The odds that she is pregnant are VERY small. But yes, precum can contain sperm. As for the morning after pill, if she was on her period it's normal for her body to act differently. She is not used to taking the pill (a morning after pill is a set of normal but heavy contraceptive pills), so her body is a bit out of order. In addition she was in a less fertile (never say it's NOT fertile when on period!) period.

 

I suggest that she takes other measures for the future. The condom is the best when used to protect against STI's, but for pregnancy I think it's best if you use condoms COMBINED with the pill, or spiral, or a patch, or depo-shots, etc.

 

I used both (yeah, Double Dutch lol) until my bf and I tested negative for all STI's (I had sex before and unsafe one time, he was a virgin but has tattoos). Now we don't use condoms, but I have a hormonal spiral (Mirena). The chance that I get pregnant is 0.1% (per year, an estimated one in thousand women get pregnant while having a Mirena). But I know that if I got pregnant, we can provide for a child because both of us work fulltime, we are 26 and 31 and it would be 'unplanned' but very welcome.

 

I tell you this, because I want to emphasize here that if pregnancy is REALLY something you can't have in your life right now, using double protection (after abstination of course) is the best way to go.

 

Take care and again, you guys did the right thing. Just use more than only condoms in the future and visit a local family planning dpt.

 

Ilse