JonathanJonathan Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Chivalry is dead, and the blame is on men apparently because the majority of us are sex-hungry brutes that don't care to bother with anything that doesn't involve some type of penetration. Doesn't that mean the dying breed of gentlemen should be valued and sought out for? Surprisingly, it doesn't seem so. I had a chat with a few of my ladyfriends, and they could care less. I was brought up to respect women, to show to them that you care and to pretty much upkeep the gentleman mannerisms. When I was dating, I always opened the door for her (not in a trying-to-hard sort of way), stood up before she sat down and waited for her to make it into her house before I return home. I told my ladyfriends this and they immediately said I was "too nice" and accomodating to my date. They even said waiting for her to enter her house was kinda awkward and weird. And this whole time I thought I was being a gentleman... The chivalry present in the few men out there will disintegrate. Why? Women. Thoughts anyone? Link to comment
InaneCathode Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Eh, suppose it's a regional thing. But every time i open a door for a lady or address them as miss or mam they like it. I don't know what your lady friends mean by 'too nice' but i think that level of basic respect reflects well on your character. Link to comment
Dako Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I don't know that many sex-hungry brutes, but not all of them...are men. Link to comment
melrich Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 The biggest problem I have responding to this is that you have just laid down this huge statement as though it is some sort of fact, Chivalry is dead, and the blame is on men apparently because the majority of us are sex-hungry brutes that don't care to bother with anything that doesn't involve some type of penetration. I don't know where you hang out but not where I come from. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I was brought up to respect women, to show to them that you care and to pretty much upkeep the gentleman mannerisms. When I was dating, I always opened the door for her (not in a trying-to-hard sort of way), stood up before she sat down and waited for her to make it into her house before I return home. I really don't see these things as being anything less than decent. Please don't be discouraged by your peers, these are admirable traits to possess. Link to comment
kelkel Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 DONT STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING !!! PLEASE !! we need more men like you, teach youur friends honey, give classes ! you know alot of women should take the blame for how men treat women, because we allow it and we expect it, dont be fooled, you can be a gentleman and still have all the girls chasing you, nOt because you are nice means you are going to allow women to walk all over you, but treat your lady with respect and care and believe me you will feel better within yourself and the RIGHT one will APPRECIATE and RESPECT you! Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I really don't see these things as being anything less than decent. Please don't be discouraged by your peers, these are admirable traits to possess. amen to that! little things go along away... I remember going on a 'date' with a guy and he pulled out my seat for me (and pushed it back in!! ) at the restuarant and I had hundreds of lovely squigly feelings inside of me.... just a little thing...but i remember it so well the little things go a LONG way! Link to comment
doyathink Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 wow, I think every woman on the planet would want a man like you...well, at least I do. Don't stop being the gentleman you are because a few of your friends said they didn't like men like this. Most women (maybe not young girls) do like and want this... Link to comment
laboheme Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I feel like at your age, most girls are just looking for a bit of fun, but gentlemanly traits like yours lends themselves better to serious relationships. Hang on to them, they'll benefit you in the long run...and she'll be one lucky lady! PS. Love the use of "ladyfriends"! Your manners shine through in your language Link to comment
JonathanJonathan Posted October 18, 2006 Author Share Posted October 18, 2006 Sorry I came out with guns firing, but this new discovery of mine is bugging. I absolutely won't change. It's who I am. There has to be someone in the world that genuinely appreciates chivalry. It really does irk me though that some women fall into the spell of guys that disrepect them not only as a woman, but as a human. And yes, I know I'm starting to sound like one of those 'Nice guys finish last' boys, bleh. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Well if it's any consolation, nice girls finish last too, bleh. Link to comment
bluef1n Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Jon - I'm definitely in the nice guy category, very respectfull and protective of females. I kinda took the last two months and threw out everything I knew about women/dating etc to just experiment. I had noticed some things, namely for a very smart, attractive, and pretty well put together guy I seemed to strike out alot. Not to brag, but in the last week I slept with 3 different females and pretty much have been averaging 2 new girls a week lately in a non-college suburban atmosphere - I'm definitely onto something here (although still single and honestly I wish I wasn't, but at least I can get laid).. Girls please do correct me if I'm wrong. It depends on the situation. If it's a date, by all means definitely open car doors, take her jacket, pull her chair out for her at the table, kiss her hand, make sure she gets home safe all that jazz.. make her feel great about herself, charm her, however I would say don't go overboard at first 'cause you don't want to scare her off or appear too weak. If you want to pick up a girl, or even get her number, at a club/bar it's a different ball game. Drinking and the general meat market atmosphere is not the place for chivalry, either they will think you are lying or take it as a weakness. There you gotta pretty much hold your ground and be more aggressive and less respectfull. A friendly insult is often a good way to start a conversation - strong and confident - take control, let her pickup her purse if she drops it etc.. Get her number, take her home for a spin, save the chivalry for your first date. JMHO Link to comment
CharmedphoenixRising Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 nice girls finish last, nice guys finish last - shouldn't we all be meeting at the back of the line then? ;-) Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 nice girls finish last, nice guys finish last - shouldn't we all be meeting at the back of the line then? ;-) Seriously, you'd think wouldn't you. I think the problem truly lies in "nice" people being attracted to "mean" people. Round and round we go Jack. ](*,) Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 i believe in respectful "gentlemanliness" but not in ritualistic "chivalry". too patriarchal (and patronizing) for my blood. if a woman wants to be the one to drive on a date and wants to walk ME up to MY door, i'm totally down. Not to brag, but in the last week I slept with 3 different females and pretty much have been averaging 2 new girls a week geez, i'm sorry that none of your relationships seem to work out. Link to comment
Maverick32x Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 bluefin, you are VERY correct!!! it TOTALLY depends on the situation~ I notice it when I'm down at school, girls are more attracted to someone arrogant and pretty much a big jerk.... but when I go home, away from college life and bars/parties, taking a girl out somewhere nice, and being all "chivalrious" (is that a word?) goes a LOOOONNGGGG way, and if i even THOUGHT of treating a girl with anything less than respect, they wont even give me a second glance..... It has to do alot with whether you are attracting women or girls.... Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 yeah, that's perfect. treat a girl with respect so you can nail her and move on to the next one. that's what being a gentleman is all about. Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 ^ Awesome, dare I say pristine logic. Bently my man, you sure are a jeenyus!! Link to comment
bluef1n Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 yeah, that's perfect. treat a girl with respect so you can nail her and move on to the next one. that's what being a gentleman is all about. I never said that. I said don't treat her too nice if you want to get her attention, get her number, "nail her" if you can, and then take her out on a date later. Jon Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 I never said that. I said don't treat her too nice if you want to get her attention, get her number, "nail her" if you can, and then take her out on a date later. Jon Oy vey brother, would you like to take this outside?!? Nicole Link to comment
Goldfish6888 Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 Wow!! Are you free?!!! Nice to see Chivalry ALIVE and WELL! Gentlemen Enotaloners TAKE NOTE! Hugs G Fish Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted October 18, 2006 Share Posted October 18, 2006 bluef1n, see quote in post #15. ok, i'm done with you now. next victim! Link to comment
CharmedphoenixRising Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Jon - Not to brag, but in the last week I slept with 3 different females and pretty much have been averaging 2 new girls a week lately in a non-college suburban atmosphere - I'm definitely onto something here (although still single and honestly I wish I wasn't, but at least I can get laid).. JMHO Good for you if that's what you want, and that's why girls have tons of beautiful toys I think basically guys screwed our heads up - so we had to do our own thing - you know - like open the doors on our own which is why we're in *gasp* *shock* when someone is actually gentlemanly and wonder "what the heck does *he* want?!" lol I'm all for chivalry. And I wish it wasn't dead. Link to comment
CharmedphoenixRising Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 Seriously, you'd think wouldn't you. I think the problem truly lies in "nice" people being attracted to "mean" people. Round and round we go Jack. ](*,) Because they just seem to be so much more exciting. Age - I'll leave the bad boys by the wayside and get my own leathers Link to comment
Dako Posted October 19, 2006 Share Posted October 19, 2006 There are social rituals used to display kindness to women, and there are actual deeds. If you spend the day working on a lady's car, opening the door with your greasy hand is: A. Chivalrous, and she'll swoon. B. Unimportant because she appreciates what you did. C. Not applicable. Gentleman never have dirty hands. Link to comment
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