broke up 6 months, she has new guy but still weaing my jewelry

[PSlug]

Ok ill make this quick, 6 months ago i caught my last girlfriend (of almost 4 years) kind of messing around, and i dropped her like no other, broke it off, and literally the next day or maybe even before that she was already having sex with him- 6 months later they seem to be doing great, as so am I am enjoying the single life.

 

Point to this story is sometimes I get board, and check out whats going on at Myspace, she has him plastered all over her myspace, big deal, but in every picture she is still wearing my all of my jewelry; watch necklace, earrings the works, and she wears this while she is wrapped around this new dude. I not the kind of guy to say I wan that back or something, but I don't want to sound like the over sentimental one, but if that was me I would be thinking about her every time I put on that watch or necklace. Does the sentimental value not count with woman, or is it just seen to her as another piece of expensive jewelry.

 

For me I had to remove everything out of my house and life to help me get over her, let alone actually wear something that was a very personal gift from her.

 

What do you think?

[New_Horizons]

She's obviously a very selfish (insert five letter word here). Some women do attach a high sentimental value to objects, other women are totally materialistic. Your ex sounds like the latter type.

I don't think it is ethical to hang on to expensive gifts after a relationship. The process of giving a gift is within the context of the relationship. Gifts should be returned to the person.

[Mr Mister1]

Makes you wonder what she thought of the gifts at the time, were they special because they were gifts from you or were they just more things to wear?

 

That being said I do still wear t-shirts that an ex got me and play the CDs she sent me and so on.

[Bethany]

When you give a gift, it becomes theirs. It no longer belongs to you and you have no claim over it, unless it was an engagement ring which is seen as a token of an agreement for marriage.

 

Whether you like it or understand it, they are hers to wear whenever she pleases. She may actually just love the jewelry and feel no emotions over it.

 

As a sidenote. you obviously have good taste and chose well.

[brando]

Dude stop checking her myspace account...if you are over her than it does not matter about the jewelry you bought her.

[southerngirl]

Well maybe she does still think about you. Its her jewelry though, if she wants to continue wearing it thats her choice. You broke up with her, she has to move on with her life, but maybe shes not ready to take the jewelry off, maybe she likes it.

 

Either way, do yourself a favor and stop checking out her myspace account. Let yourself heal and one part is convincing yourself that from here on out it doesnt matter what she does.

[avman]

You gave those items as gifts with no strings attached. They aren't yours anymore, they are hers. The sentimental value may indeed count with her which is why she continues to wear those things. See it as a compliment that she liked your gifts and continues to like them.

 

I agree with the others, quit checking her myspace. It will only hurt you and you don't need the headaches.

[nikkers04]

Yes sometimes I do think about who gave it to me

unless they still mean something to me it wouldnt really dawn on me tho. If I still had feelings for the guy then I'd really think about it other wise i'd be like yep so and so gave me this, put it on, and walk out the door

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I know of lots of women who don't put much stock in the sentimental value of gifts from the ex. They just see it as Jewelry. Sad really. Some people are just more materialistic than others. To your ex, the jewelry is simply that.

[annie24]

She's obviously a very selfish (insert five letter word here). Some women do attach a high sentimental value to objects, other women are totally materialistic. Your ex sounds like the latter type.

I don't think it is ethical to hang on to expensive gifts after a relationship. The process of giving a gift is within the context of the relationship. Gifts should be returned to the person.

 

I disagree. Just because she is wearing the jewlery after the breakup does not mean she is materialistic and selfish.

 

It could be that she just truly liked the jewlery and that is why she still wears it. Or she wears it because it was a reminder of good times when the relationship was going well.

 

A gift is a gift, you cannot take it back. The only gift that you can ask for back after a breakup is the engagement ring, which is technically a "conditional gift" as classified by the law in many areas. A gift given on the condition the marriage occurs.

 

Apart from that, OP, I say, stop looking at her myspace page. Nothing good ever comes from looking at ex's websites.

[Rabican]

Depends.... when I broke up with my current girl breifly last year she tossed every bit of jewelry, clothing etc. I had given her. I hung onto them, I was going to donate to goodwill, or give to my sister etc... when we got back together I still had all the stuff and gave it back to her.

 

I on the other hand, kept everything she had given me. Ive got lots of bills, and I wasnt going to start throwing away good clothes, jeans, various other stuff she bought me because it reminded me of her. EVERYTHING reminded me of her, Id drive down the street and think of the times WE drove down the same street. So it was either hit myself in the head until I had amnesia, or move to Brazil, or keep my (her) stuff.

 

I kept the stuff.

 

On a whole unrelated subject, what are you doing checking out pics of your ex with the new guy whom she cheated on you with.... Id think the best way to get over that hurdle is to never look back. Not keep some sort of faraway contact with her by looking at her myspace.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

She obviously didn't care very much for you at all if she can wear your jewellery with her new BF...different people have different attitudes to gifts, but she sounds quite insensitive in general.

 

But then again, would you expect someone who cheated on you to be nice and sensitive?