Do guys like this exist?

[PrincessJOA]

I do apologize Laboheme, unfortunately, he's been taken by me But dont you worry your pretty little head over this matter, there are still some good ones left out there, they will pop out when you least expect it, just like how I met my romeo beginning of the year O

[bulletproof]

Does it matter if he has a few drinks when he's out with his friends?

 

I admire your resolve, but just try not to discount too many people. Maybe there's a guy out there who drinks now, but you would show him the light. I'm not saying that you should try to change someone, but sometimes our relationships can make us better people.

 

I know you're not religious (nor am I) but I do believe in some spirituality. There are lots of groups (meditation and chanting, Buddhism, etc.) that believe in clean living and they get together. Maybe those types of activities would lead you to the guy you want to meet.

[foraliving1hotmail.com]

I Would Like To Know Where? I Want Basically The Same Thing. I Have Been Having All Kinds Of Problems With The Men I Have Met Lately. And That Is Beasides The Fact That They Don't Care. They Also Think It Is A Privilege To Take Your Money And Give Them Sex. They Also Have An Attitude About It. ABUSE IS ANOTHER PROBLEM I HAVE ENCOUNTERED. THEY ARE VERY CONDESCENDING AND SOMETIMES PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE.

[ProtestTheHero]

Lol, that sounds a lot like me. I don't know if I can evaluate my own personality, but I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I'm a virgin. I've never touched drugs.

 

My parents are religious, but I'm not at all. I'm not overly hostile towards it since I love my parents, but I just don't care much about it. I used to tell my Dad that Christianity wouldn't change my life style much anyway, since I don't deal with many of those issues.

 

Guys like us exist, but the problem is you probably won't know him when you see him. From my own experiences, I just don't fit into any groups. I'm not religious, so the Christian straight-edge guys act like I've committed a felony. Most other people think I'm weird for intentionally choosing not to do any of those things without a religious reason. So, I often feel like I'm alone in the way I think, and I guess this is mistaken as low self-esteem.

 

Back on-topic: Yeah, we exist, but good luck finding us. Maybe you can meet one of us who are more extroverted. I'm only shy around people I don't know as well, but once I get to know people better I can act as crazy as the next person.

[axg275]

He is out there. I am a guy and I know for a fact that my guy friends are just like the ones your discribing. So just get better, learn to live independently and when that happens you will find him. Its not the matter of him not being there its the matter of you getting better... I promise he will arrive.

[PhilliesFan001]

Guys like that do exist. My boyfriend is amazing that way. Not only is he cute, but he's sweet, thoughtful, funny (though a bit corny...you learn to live with it). The one thing on your list that he doesn't meet is that he doesn't live a perfectly clean lifestyle; he does drink. Though in moderation. He was raised in Ireland, what can you expect?

 

Anyway the point is, the Earth is inhabited by countless amounts of great guys. And you WILL find one. They're a rare breed, but not impossible to find. Just keep an open mind with men. Someone who seems less-than-ideal at first could turn out to be a dream.

[MetallicAguy]

I don't believe that many guys want to be controlled (saying you can't drink or do this or that), yes there are some out there that don't mind, but I don't imagine it to be a lot. There are good guys out there like that though, quite a bit in fact, you just have to look harder to find them.

[Sheyda]

^ I don't think she's saying she wants to find someone who drinks, does drugs and so on and tell them not to. I think she simply wants to find someone who chooses themselves not to do these things.

[Salucious]

Well I am that kind of guy I guess. I drink, but I don't have to. It is a way of letting loose but not the only way. There is nothing wrong with the "clean" lifestyle you describe, but you are right not a whole lot of guys are like that. A lot of guys do things because of peer pressure or the need to fit in. You seem to be describing the kind of guy who has all his own views and beliefs, knows what he wants and sticks to that; and that also respects your lifestyle choices. That is great, I especially respect girls who wait to be sexual in a relationship; it is an honest way to show respect to a woman when a guy will wait for her.

[easyguy]

I've never been in an intimate relationship before, but from the knowledge that I do know, Laboheme, if you're not willing to comprimise and fulfill each others' needs, then it does seem like the relationship would be headed for a rocky path.

 

I seem to fit the profile pretty easily (and I am the same age as you); nice, gentlemanly, respectul, etc... but that doesn't mean that we'd be attracted to each other. It's more complicated than that. But it is nice to know what you want. Just have an open mind about people in general.

[CyberCowBoy]

Well I guess Salacious kind of underscores my question / point.l Whats the dealio with the requirement about booze? That is not wise cause you may miss out on a catch like me or Salaious. He says he drinks sometimes but he couyld simply stop if if were an issues. I have a drink about once every two years I'd say and Im almost as good as a potentional husband as Salacious. Point is, obviouslty avoid a raging alcholic but why eliminate all those A+ canidates for somthing as randomn and arbitrary as an ocasional drink.

Any way. no big deal.

[laboheme]

I do understand the importance of compromise, of course...if I didn't, my list would have ridiculous things like...he has to be a night owl, he has to love dumb comedies...heck, blue eyes are nice, too...Of course I realize that my list can't be specific like that, and I don't want it to be. Sheyda is right in saying that I'm not looking for someone that I can grab on to and change to fit my mold of the perfect guy...I'm looking for someone who made those choices about a clean lifestyle himself. And I did say previously that I am willing to compromise on an occasional drink. Not going to lie, it would be hard for me, and I would prefer somebody who doesn't drink at all -- but if we're at an upscale restaurant, I'm not going to make a big fuss if he has a glass of wine...as long as he doesn't give me a hard time because I won't drink any.

 

But guys...show me a man under 25 who doesn't jump with joy at the mention of beer pong, who doesn't think a party is a waste if there's no booze, and who doesn't take pride in being hungover the next day and not remembering the night before. Funny, I haven't met many men like that (and the ones that I have met are all quite religious and hence not willing to have a serious relationship with an agnostic)...It seems that if they don't drink themselves under the table, it's because there wasn't enough alcohol to go around, not because they were responsible enough to stop.

 

Maybe it's just an age thing, as someone suggested...maybe I just need to wait until I'm older, so that the men in my dating pool aren't judging their social worth by how many shots they threw back last night. But it is kind of disappointing to realize that even though I may find a sweet and caring college guy, he'll turn into a disorderly and horny monster when faced with alcohol -- which probably sounds like a stereotype, but once again...show me a college guy who limits himself to just one drink.