Is It Ok?

[Ms. Babydoll]

I've been with my boyfriend for just over 6 months now and I really love him lots, but lately he's been quite distant from me and I've found myself interested in another guy who is quite a few years older than me but has admitted he is attracted to me too.

I don't plan on cheating or doing anything with this guy but is it ok to just flirt? I'd rather just be friends and stick with my boyfriend but I'm the kind of girl who loves to lead guys on when they are attracted to me, I just wanna know if it's ok to flirt, or shouldn't I?

I kinda feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend by doing this but I can't help it I enjoy the thrill.

[arwen]

Hey girl,

 

If you feel your bf is distancing, I'd try to address that before you do anything about the other guy. Because no matter how much you love him, if the feeling isn't mutual, there is no point in agonizing over this question anyway. First things first, talk to your guy and ask him what's up.

 

You mention that the other guy is older than you, but how old are you, your current bf and the other guy?

 

Ilse

[equinox]

Let me just say that it is very very wrong to lead people on. You should NEVER play with peoples emotions.

[Meow18]

I agree with Ilse. You need to work on your current relationship before worrying about what to do with this new guy.

 

In my opinion if you know you are flirting and feel that it might be wrong, even a little, then it is.

 

And as for leading this guy on.. that's not really fair. People get attached to their emotions and it could hurt a lot of people to be lead on. Trust me, I would know.

 

It just sounds like you like attention, especially from guys you know are attracted to you. But your current worry should be about your current relationship and figuring out what is going on there.

[chigal28]

If things were going really well with your boyfriend, and he wasn't being distant, is this other person still someone you'd be attracted to, and want to flirt with?

 

It sounds like you care for your boyfriend, and you're hurt that he's being distant (which is completely understandable!!), so you want to have a flirtation with this other person to make yourself feel better. It's also easier to contemplate that a relationship with someone else might be ending, if there's someone waiting in the wings--a "soft place to land," so to speak.

 

But this side flirtation will only complicate things for you...you should figure out what's going on with your boyfriend first. What if he has something else going on in his life that has nothing to do with you (ie. stress at work), and in a couple weeks things are fine?

[Ms. Babydoll]

thanks for the advice guys, I should talk to my boyfriend, you're right, I'll do that.

[New_Horizons]

I don't plan on cheating or doing anything with this guy but is it ok to just flirt?

 

And the difference is....?

 

What you are doing is very very wrong, not only to your boyfriend but also to this new guy. Nobody likes players (of either gender). Don't become a player.

[RufusDawes]

flirting is ok, it is fine so long as it is done in a friendly way. Provided he is well aware that you have a boyfriend that you are staying with, honestly, i know lots of chicks who flirt with other guys despite having a boyfriend. It is fine so long as it is friendly and not suggestive or overtly sexual flirting.

[Ms. Babydoll]

thanks for the advice RufusDawes

[New_Horizons]

I think you're just looking for rationalization of your urges. You're not looking for advice, you just want someone to tell you "yeah go ahead and flirt all you like, it's all good".