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Should I forgive him?


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About a week ago I found out that my boyfriend has searching for local girls on the internet and saying things to them like "Hey sexy, what highschool did you go to? too bad I never saw your sexy *** around" , "I know your friend, tell him we should have afew drinks and tell him to bring your gorgeous self along", and a bunch of other comments like that.

 

I found this out because we both know eachothers passwords and I went into this site called Bebo that hes a member of and found these messages. THey were all from about 3-7 months ago and he hasnt been sending them since. He told me that it was because our relationship was VERY rocky at the time (which it was) and that he clearly has no need to talk to those girls or any other girls on that site again. He deleted his account to prove to me that I mean more. But I don;t really know if I should believe him or not, or if I should just forgive him like that. We've been going out for 7 months now.

Should I forgive him and forget about it?

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Only you can make the decision to forgive him. I can tell you that you'll probably have a hard time trusting him now, though. It's not really a valid excuse to hit on other women just because your relationship is rocky. The mature thing to do is turn your attention to working on your relationship, not other women.

 

Maybe this will be a wake up call for him, though, and he'll never do this again.

 

(And can I just add...and no offense...but I think I'd almost be more horrified that my boyfriend used such cheesy lines on these women! Kinda sleazy.)

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Sorry to say I wouldn't let it go. So everytime the relationship is rocky he can turn to other women? I dated someone like that once, and it's a real issue. Everytime we fought, everytime we had any sort of conflict, he was online finding new women to replace me with.

 

I replaced his sorry butt and found someone worthwhile. If it's only been 7 months and already he's been doing that, I'd call it quits myself.

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You say that the relationship was rocky at the time of these messages.

And that the latest message was from 3 months ago.

And you have been with him for seven months.

 

The question on my mind is: why did you let the relationship last so long when it was so rocky?

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I don't know.... I doubt I could forgive. Or maybe I could forgive, but I would NEVER forget. But in my heart, I would know the right thing to do would be to break up, even if I really really liked or loved him.

 

Yeah, it's not like it was innocent flirting, he actually MADE a profile and SOUGHT out these women, and with CHEESY lines! blah.

 

yuck.

 

do you think you can trust him now?

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Do forgive, dont forget. Take it as a lesson learned and decide for yourself whether he is worth keeping. I believe history always repeats itself, so if he has done it once, theres no doubt that there are chances he might do it again. But personally, during those rocky months if he really cared for you, he wouldnt have kept himself busy by searching for other girls, instead, he'll be worrying more about how to patch things up with you. He might have changed in between those times til now its yours to judge, but do you think he deserve your trust for the second time within this 7 months?

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