Do I have a chance with this guy now???

[tammyy]

Hi everyone!

I was dating a guy named Tom but for different reasons it didnt work out.. even though I still have a big crush on him! We decided to be friends and he invited me to a party. He introduced me to a guy he knows called Dave.. me & Dave got along really well and ended up hanging out all night. We got a bit drunk and kissed too. Then he invited me to his house to watch DVDs the next day. I went but I felt kind of weird because I still had such a big crush on Tom. So when he tried to hold my hand or something I kind of got all funny about it.

 

After I left he sent me a txt message saying "Thanks for coming over. If you want to just be friends thats cool with me I would like that. I'm just a little confused as to whether you want more though?"

 

Then I wrote something back like "yeah I think it would be cool if we could just be friends."

But now I regret saying that!

 

So one morning a few days later I asked if he wanted to come over and watch DVDs at my place. He didnt answer so I called him later that night.. no answer.. so I sent him a message saying "Aw Dave r u mad at me? I'm sorry if I upset u sweetie! .. no answer.

 

Then the next day he sent one back saying "sorry I left my phone at work yesterday... I'm not sure if I can come over tonight I might have to see my dad"

So I sent one back a few hours later saying "Hey thats cool.. If your seeing ur dad tonight we can do something another time

But I havent heard anything back from him.

 

I feel like an idiot txting and calling him 3 times in that one day!! Do you think I went a bit over board?? Have I totally blown my chance to see him again? Is there anyway I could date him now? I cant tell if he would be interested in seeing me again or not. What do you guys think??

[Batya33]

I don't generally recommend starting a relationship when drunk or going to a man's place to watch DVD's. If you're interested in dating someone, let the man ask you out in advance for a proper date in a public place that he plans. I also would stop texting - either call him and leave a brief message "please call when you have a chance" or speak to him directly. Too many confusing mixed messages from your side.

[annie24]

After I left he sent me a txt message saying "Thanks for coming over. If you want to just be friends thats cool with me I would like that. I'm just a little confused as to whether you want more though?"

 

Then I wrote something back like "yeah I think it would be cool if we could just be friends."

But now I regret saying that!

 

It sounds like he was interested in more with you, but then you told him you wanted to be "just friends" and he took that as a sign you are blowing him off (and not in a good way!!)

 

I think he thinks he struck out, so he is moving on. If you are still interested in him, I think you should maybe consider asking him out on a DATE yourself, and tell him it's a date. because right now, I do think he thinks you are not interested.

 

I agree with batya - text messages aren't a good way to build a relationship - they are far too confusing.

[annie24]

PS - who do you want? dave or tom? because if you really aren't into dave, i'd just drop it.

[lunatic]

Well you have to make up your mind as to whether or not you like Tom still. I mean you told this guy that you wanted to be friends and then you freak out because you realize you made a mistake. I don't think it would be fair to Tom or Dave if you don't know what you want. Realize that once you start dating Dave or Tom you blow you chances with the other guy.

 

When guys are friends (real friends) there is a guy code to not date your buddies ex.

[chai714]

It sounds like he was interested in more with you, but then you told him you wanted to be "just friends" and he took that as a sign you are blowing him off (and not in a good way!!)

 

Exactly. Dave is moving on and doesn't want only a friendship with you. He thinks that you're trying to be "friendly" and only "friendly" by inviting him over to watch DVD's.

 

I don't think you need to tell him your intentions, but if you hang out with him again then bust a move on him. He'll get the idea.

[Stinkweed]

How is it that it's so common for people to start kissing when they get drunk? I mean, it's just... weird. Is alcohol like an aphrodisiac now? Thank god I don't drink and I've never been interested on it, cause stuff like that only brings trouble, in my opinion.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure which guy you're into the most or at least REALLY into. But I'd say your relationship with Tom sound a bit... Healthier. So I'd say two things:

1- take into consideration Dave hasn't contacted you anymore. That could be your cue to just move on...

2- Follow your heart: If you think you still like that Tom guy, go for him.

 

Best wishes and good luck.