Slowly changing into a different person. Things change..

[KIDD]

This past week I went to my local library because I was bored & I have completely no friends at the moment. I've been trying for the longest to find a hobby & though it sounds lame, I actually think reading may become one. I was looking at books that interested me & I decided to check them out. I never thought I would get into them as everytime I tried to pick up a book and read, I found myself nodding to sleep. I was in a funk as always & I decided to read and I got into what I was actually reading. It took my mind off of being alone & I was morphed into another world. I think I may be addicted

 

I decided to change my clothing style to a more dark edgier look. Just felt like a change & it made me feel good. I've got more of the artistic, mysterious guy edge & I like the new look.My mom commented on it & she asked if I was making a statement of some kind. I told her that I am.I even got some shades that I wear also I also went out and bought me a weight bench with a barbell & 25lb barbell plates. I haven't actually set up the weight bench yet but it sure has alot of instructions & work ahead. I'm planning on sticking to an excercise routine & hopefully get into better shape.

 

I think I'm slowly transitioning into adulthood. I will be 20 years old next month & I feel that it's such a big step for me. It's time for me to wake up & stop feeling sorry for myself. I always complain about people not liking me or understanding me,not having any friends. I've come into the realization that I'm different from everybody around me in so many ways. There's just alot of ignorant people in the world & if people are not going to like me for what god made me out to be, it's their lost.My so called friends were nothing but associates, this just left me room for new & hopefully better friends.I've already made friends with a female co-worker at work,I even asked her for her phone number & said maybe we could hang out sometime.

 

I also started praying again in the last week. Even though I don't really believe in the religion aspect of things, I do believe in god & I seriously neglected him. Someone I should have focused on in the very beginning.

 

I feel a little excited because things are changing. I maybe getting my drivers license and a car within a month. So no more complaining, I'm just going to try my best to be happy!

[Belgian girl]

Sounds very positive and quite similar as the way I feel. Just stand open for different things and try to find things that belong to you.

[dogheadma]

Kudos to you! I have read some of your past posts and it sounds like you're on the right track! Way to go, keep up the good work!

[Jayar]

Way to go! For interest's sake, my absolute FAVOURITE dark, edgy, yet extremely religious guy is Criss Angel... Do a search if you haven't heard of him. Mmmmm.... Yummy. Don't know if that's quite what you meant by "dark" and "edgy" but IMO it's a positive dark/edgy that I would SOOOOO date.... Rather than the depressing "life is just a speedbump on your way to death" dark mentality which is not attractive and is probably kind of sick.

[Ipso Fracto Man]

Although my profile says that I just joined, I've actually been reading your posts since April and I think you're one awesome individual. If you don't have any friends, either you've been hiding yourself under a rock or the people in your area must be really poor judges of character.

 

Rock on, KIDD!

[chrissy1]

Sounds a lot like what i did and kinda still am going through!

You sound so positive and I'm sure that things will keep going the way they are!

By the way reading is not lame!

[FoxLocke]

I think that is great, KIDD.

 

Even though I am done with my dark and edgy stage it is a cool look...haha.

 

I have started doing some lifting too. I don't want to be the Incredible hulk or anything, but I would like to have big biceps...heh.

 

I'm even going to start buying new clothes...

[KIDD]

Man I've been eating healthier and drinking healthier too & I think this also helped my moods. I've been drinking lots of water & eating more & more fruits & vegetables. Plus I've been taking lots of vitamins in the morning! My skin looks good too! Plus I've built a myspace page & I'm just talking to people who are in my area and hopefully from there I can make new friends..

 

I've been working all morning on the weight bench and I have it set up pretty good. Just seems like something is missing.Like I have the barbell & the barbell plate but what supposed to hold the barbell plate from falling off of the actual barbell?? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

 

Anyway I'm feeling better & I'm not going to fall off of the bandwagon like I do so many times before. Thanks to everyone who have been on my side since the beginning. I really appreciate the love!

 

Just hope these moodswings stop!!

[texami]

way to go, KIDD!

 

i just thought i would toss in the older viewpoint... in that these 'funks' can happen anytime. i'm working on getting out of one, and you're story is a great motivator.

 

i'm working on similar things to help boost me up... eating right, exercise, not dwelling on the negative, and staying busy instead of sitting around. they all work, no matter what the cause or what's going on with your life! feeling good about yourself, and actually feeling good health-wise will go a long way toward changing the things you want to change.

 

good luck and keep us posted!