Weekends Are Tough

[bungalo]

I am suffering over the loss of my ex of nearly 2 years. She says she still

loves me and says it might work out eventually. SOmeone pointed out that comments like these are often just a "foot in the door' and a way to

let you down easy.

 

The fact of the matter is I know she loves me and I love her. Last spring

she suggested that I go to counseling for emotional problems. I am not

abusive, I just had a habit of dumping problems on her. I went to a counselor as she requested and I wasn't ready and didn't feel like we clicked. Now that she's gone, I am in weekly counseling, and it is really

helping. I have also straightened out my career problems (another big issue for her).

 

My problem is maintaining NC. I want to go at least a month with no contact. I have to fight the urge to pick up the phone..so far I am

holding out. She has not contacted me except to return a call in almost a month. I did see her a little over two weeks after the split and she was crying and sleep deprived and agreed with me when I said it would be

great to just go out and have fun. But she couldn't say when. I don't

like living in future land holding out hope that we will patch it up, but I do.

 

I really feel like she is the one, and if I can show her strength by not

bugging her (I was too dependent-she was a bit too) she will respect that and we can possibly rekindle our love. Ideas? Comments?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

She says she still

loves me and says it might work out eventually. SOmeone pointed out that comments like these are often just a "foot in the door' and a way to

let you down easy.

 

That is not necessarily true. When someone is continually sabotaging a relationship and refuses to see what they are doing and get help, the other person often has no choice but to leave the relationship even though they still love their partner. Self-preservation is crucial. In many cases (but not all) reconciliation does take place if the person sabotaging the relationship works hard at fixing the problem. However, reconciliation doesn't happen overnight. Trust has to be re-built and that may take a while.

[bungalo]

Thanks..yeah I take responsibility for my behavior...not sure if she

does. She admitted that she seems to hook up with guys she can "fix."

One of her church friends told her she was really trying to fix herself.

When my career looked promising earlier this year she called all down and out and said that I probably wouldn't "need" her anymore once I got rolling.

 

She also said she feels unworthy of love. ????? So I'm not the only one

with issues.....