I'm dying inside...

[TLC1971]

I hurt someone I love by doing something so stupid. I am dying inside with guilt and pain. I want this resolved and things to go back to the way they were before all this happened. He is responding to my emails, but not calling and not talking to me to resolve the issues. He can't deal with this all right now and it is driving me crazy.

 

Are we together or not? Does he want to resolve this and move on or not? Can he forgive me and move on? Do I need to drive over there and collect my things?

 

I've talked to EVERYONE I know and tried to get opinions. I've read and reread his emails trying to pick them apart for some sort of clue as to what is going on. I went to counseling to try to talk about this and deal with it.

 

I am acting desperate. Everyone is telling me to leave him alone, but I am having a hard time doing that. I don't want to drive him away by acting crazy, but I am hurting too and need to talk to him. I want him to love me again and want to be with me again and tell me he forgives me for causing him pain.

 

Funny thing is that the situation that happened was not THAT big of a deal to cause all this (no cheating, etc.) I said one small sentence and it exploded into all this. Lots of baggage on both ends.

 

What the heck do I do now? I am trying and trying and getting really worn out and almost thinking I should just end everything to get some peace in my own head.

[DN]

Write him a message and say "I love you and I am sorry that I hurt you. I want us to get back together and make us both happy again. But I realise you may need some time so I am not going to contact you any more but will wait for you to contact me. Obviously, I can't wait for ever but I love you enough to be patient for a while longer."

[valenski]

I've definitely experienced how a little stupid remark can snowball into a break up, I dont think there is much you can do until he calms down. Giving him his space might sound dangerous but acting all desperate might be working his nerve.

[coollady1957]

How long ago has it been that this happened? Do you feel you have waited it out long enough?

 

If it has only been quite recently, then I would not press the issue very hard right now.

 

DN's idea might be the way to go. Write him another little note/email and then let it be. Wait for him to contact you.

 

If I were you I would also go on with life and do not let it appear that this is bothering you or getting to you. Also as you mentioned in your post, you definitely do not want to drive him away by acting too desperate .

[TLC1971]

It happened last Tues. night.

 

I've called, emailed, apologized, told him how much I love him, etc.

 

he is responding to me via email, but no calls. he is keeping contact going, but not actually talking to me.

 

eventually, I will give up if this does not resolve itself.

 

There is so much love between us, that to have this end our relationship, would be a huge mistake and shame. This is all so confusing.

[craign]

Your doing fine.There is no exacts in relationships.Stay with the e-mails if thats what he is comfortable with.Stay with what he is comfortable with.Dont push it.I know how you feal though.THe waiting game sucks.I have said it before "if it is meant to be it will be.If not there is not a damn thing you can do to make it happen.This is my experience.Be good to yourself.Dont be hard on your self.I have been in relationships were they said something small and stupid,and i blown it all out of proportion.I was looking for a excuse because i was at he end anyways.

[Jlizzy]

I made a stupid stupid mistake myself with my bf -I shared a bed with my mate whom I was visting (I wasn't aware of set up before I arrived) and this of course hurt my bf a lot when I finally told him some days later when we were together... (Another situation of no cheating but definitely a very stupid mistake).

 

This happened at the two month mark and ever since the relationship has been rocky. I'm supposed to be moving in but am feeling forever unsure!

[Chibby33]

You and I are in the same situation TLC. It's been 3 weeks and it hurts to breathe. Best advice is to not communicate with him - TIME AND SPACE. In the beginning i called my ex everyday asking him to come back then one day it just stopped. Next day he sent me a text - i responded after 6 hours, very short response. Next day, he called and left a message that he wanted to talk. I didnt call back but he did and we talked for an hour. Nothing was resolved but at least he made the move. Trust me one full day of not hearing from you will make him wonder.