Physician husband cheats on pregnant wife

[wrightgirl]

My husband of 3 years cheated on me while I was pregnant with our second child, the first only two years old. When I found out the newborn was less than a week old and he showed no remorse, avoided contact with me and even continued to see this tramp, a nursing student 12 yrs his junior that he met at work. I found out he even called her from our home phone the same night I had the baby. How does someone do this to another human being?

 

I moved out with the babies a month after discovering his affair since he wasn't interested in any kind of reconcilliation, even with two small children involved. Since that time (4 months ago) he still hasn't asked for forgiveness and has made it difficult for us financially. He is having the time of his life without any family responsibilities; he has purchased a second vehicle, bought jewelry, electronics, clothing, etc. He even had the nerve to add this tramp to OUR wireless phone plan - so not only am I sharing my husband, I'm sharing minutes with her!!

 

I'm having a hard time dealing with this betrayal, and interested to hear if anyone else out there has gone through something similar? I can't stop thinking about how uncaring he is that I am suffering and how little he cares for his children. I never saw this coming...I trusted him and loved him unconditionally. I just don't understand.

[candy604]

yes he's very childish and you need to find someon else worth your time. Shows what type of man he is and I feel sorry your children and you have to go through this.

[rose2summer]

Wow, let me just say I have been somewhat in a position like yours,

 

My ex bf is a doctor too, and he had his nurses that he claimed to be getting rather close with,

 

Sad as it is, my ex would say that a dr can have any nurse he wants,

 

Your story reminded me of the pain I went through recently,

 

He is cheating on you, has this woman on his phone plan,

 

This is not right, you can either divorce him or go to marital counseling with the hope of stopping this,

 

There's a certain mentality that some doctors have,

 

It's that they can have anything they want, including woman,

 

Do not let him tear you down, he is completely disrespecting your marriage.

 

Rose

[Clementine orange]

Get a lawyer - a mean one!

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone.

 

my advice: find the meanest, nastiest divorce lawyer in town and hang your husband out to dry.

 

sharing your wireless minutes with the tramp? ug!!!! No way!

[annie24]

Get a lawyer - a mean one!

 

LOL - I like the way you think!

[rose2summer]

As a doctor - imagine the alimony and child support you can get? You can be driving the benz and wearing the tiffany jewelry.

 

Ok that was meant to make you laugh.

 

Seriously keep talking, I understand where you are coming from and want to help.

[coollady1957]

Hello and welcome to ENA. I am truly sorry that you have gone through such an ordeal. I have been through a relationship where I was cheated on as well, so I can feel to an extent what you are going through,. Luckily mine was not a husband and there were no children involved.

 

I agree that you should get a lawyer and quickly. Document everything you possibly can on his cheating. No one deserves what he has dished out to you.

 

Seek your legal counsel and then I would proceed to get what you and the children rightly deserve through divorce proceedings. Good luck and keep us posted on how you and the babies are doing.

[Entomon]

What a ! Ooops, please excuse my french.

 

As everyone has already advised, start legal proceedings ASAP. Even if you'll consider marriage counseling before a divorce, you always have to have a plan B. Take him to the cleaners, milk him for all what your children and you are worth. Don't let him further disrepect you and your children as he already did.

 

I've dated enough physicians in my past to know that I would never want to be married to one. As soon as they are rolling high, they forget that they took an oath of Hippocracy. Sure, it's nice that they can provide me luxuries that only money can buy but I'd rather have my sanity than be emotionally tormented. Like Rose said, some doctors have a certain nose-high-in-the-air attitude - they think they're God's greatest gift to women.

 

Stay strong and you will persevere.

[DN]

There is no doubt that this guy is no good and a cheater.

 

Certainly consult a lawyer to make sure that you and your children receive what is fair and just. But to seek revenge by 'taking him to the cleaners' is exactly the sort of thing that makes so many men steer clear of marriage in the first place. It confirms all their worst fears about divorce.

 

You have been betrayed and your love for him wasted - don't make matters worse by embittered revenge. You are worth more than that.

[ohmygosh]

Marriage is nothing to be feared...unless you are unable to honour the vowels.

 

Sorry for what you have had to go through! If you forgive him or consider marriage counselling you must have a great heart! One that it sounds like he does not deserve the privellage of sharing.

 

You only live once! Enjoy it and make it yours! I wish you future happiness.

[Rabican]

My course of action would be:

 

Contact the hospital and inform them of his co-worker relationship.

 

file for divorce.

 

take him to the cleaners for everything he owns. Set yourself up with a nice house on his money, you deserve it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am sorry this has happened to you. He is a very cruel man. For your own sanity you should file for divorce. Be very careful and don't look for revenge. That will only make matters worse for you. He likely has friends in high places and the most important thing is to have him out of your life and not be dragged through a nasty divorce. Revenge will never make you happy. Only moving on with your life will. As for doctors....not all doctors are arrogant skirt chasers. There are plenty of decent doctors around. Success, no matter what field you are in, will result in a certain personality type behaving in an arrogant, Romeo-like way. This behaviour is a function of the person's personality, not their chosen line of work.

[rose2summer]

Rabican has great advice there,

 

In many hospitals, co-worker relationships are prohibited,

 

But I wouldn't be vindictive and call the hospital,

 

I would find out their hospital policy and include that fact if it is indeed true where he works,

 

In the divorce proceedings.

 

Rose

[wrightgirl]

Thanks to everyone who responded to my situation. I don't want revenge, (well, maybe a little tiny bit!) but I do expect to receive a comfortable amount of child support. I just want to move on and do what's in the best interest for me and my girls. I'm hoping that writing about it and hearing other takes on the issue will be therapeutic. (I have my Mom to thank for this website - "Thanks, Mom, you've been wonderful.") It's so unfair and the fact that I trusted him wholeheartedly makes me crazy. The fact that I can't control any of this makes me crazy. It still stings and I still have trouble sleeping. I can't get these images of them out of my head, I can't stop remembering the hurtful words he gave me - or worse the words he didn't give me, I can't stop feeling sad for my girls not having their father in the same house or state even (although he's not exactly the role model I wish for them anyway.) I'm hoping these distractions and the hurt will fade. Actually, I know they will fade. That's how life is. I am looking forward to reading more comments on this - please keep writing!

[PittItaliano]

It's good that you have your mother there for you. I have to admire the strength you are showing in this situation, I couldn't even imagine it.

 

I agree with the other postings on this thread

 

Get a cold hearted divorce lawyer who can get what you and your children are worth! Make sure he knows that if he doesn't want to be there for you and your children physically that he is still going to be there finacially for the three of you.

 

As revengful as this may sound, he can't get away with what he has done to you. Don't let him!

[wiseone]

Yes, getting a lawyer is number one, they need to be your voice during this difficult time. The second thing that needs to be done is caring for your little ones. The third order of matter is that you are caring for yourself. No one else has mentioned this. What are you doing to make yourself as strong and healthy for this upcoming issue? I will help if you would like, I have alot of experience in this matter.

[wrightgirl]

Wiseone: You DO sound wise!

[wiseone]

Just wanted to maintain contact with you. How have you been doing? Any steps toward ridding you of this human being? Hope you have a bright spot in your day today.

[wrightgirl]

The Bigshot doctor decided he was going to drive up (7 hrs) to see his girls. He told me only about 12 hrs in advance and expected me to drop any plans I had because he was coming for a visit! I told him I would not rearrange the plans I had that day and he came anyway, squeezing himself into our agenda. He only stayed 2 hrs...father of the year!

 

Wiseone: thank you for your concern...I did have a bright spot in my day which was to hear the little 4-month-old "talking" away and giggling. The girls sure remind me to be happy! As far a taking care of myself...I am doing better. Reading the posts here are actually helping me and I have unconditional support from family.