ohmygosh

DN, I encourage him to get involved with his daughter as much as possible, I don't think he does enough regularly. We even argued a few weeks ago because he was spending too much time in the garage, rather than with his daughter. I have no resentment towards his daughter at all, but I do resent his ex, he tells me he feels the same so I never considered it could be a problem. Blender, thanks again, I'm still digesting your comments. Thanks all, I'm starting to think clearer and be stronger.

Marriage is nothing to be feared...unless you are unable to honour the vowels. Sorry for what you have had to go through! If you forgive him or consider marriage counselling you must have a great heart! One that it sounds like he does not deserve the privellage of sharing. You only live once! Enjoy it and make it yours! I wish you future happiness.

The worst part was hearing him scream like I've never heard before! It was horrible hearing him like that, it gave me the shivers. His daughter is suffering, she told me her mum is on the computer 24/7, she watches tv all the time, she's been missing school and never gets to go out, not even to the park. Last night he said he would be the full time carer of their daughter...I didn't see that coming and I don't have a problem with that at all (I think it's a great idea), its just that he doesnt talk with me about this subject. I do Love him a lot and I'll put up with as much as I can. I think if they can't talk civil, why don't they just strictly stick to the subject of picking up his daughter and him paying child support.

Blender, I like your suggestion. I thought about this last night but held back from saying anything in the heat of the moment that may have upset him more. Thanks. Healing Hands, she is an ex girlfriend, they were never married. He has never made me feel like I am second in line to her. They were together for 4 years, we are going on 2 years in december and their daughter is 6 so she became pregnant soon after meeting him. Unfortunately I was told she lied to him that she was on the pill (which makes me feel ill) and he has not agreed nor dissagreed when I questioned him about it, but that's another story. Thanks for everyones comments.

I've been with my partner for nearly 2 years. I knew from day one that he had a daughter, and I was fine with that...until I experienced what that entails- Him constantly having to be in contact with his ex, "hiding our relationship in the beginning so he could see his daughter" ? And dealing with him going alone to his ex's house to pick up his daughter while I am at work- I worry sometimes about what could/may be happening. Last night he called his ex to organise to pick his daughter up. Long story short they ended up in an extremely heated argument about each other, their 6 year old daughter, why she wasn't attending school and I could hear his ex yelling in the phone to him "where are you? where are you?". It ended by him throwing his phone, storming outside and crying. I offered my ears and my hugs but he wasnt interested and we have not spoken since. He came back inside and grabbed his phone then disappeared into the garage...when I found him he was on the phone to who I can only guess This bothers me!!! Why are they still arguing? Why do they even use their energy on each other? Why are they calling each other names and "throwing mud" so to speak? There's obviously some unresolved issues he has...how do I comprehend all this, I don't know what to make of it. I have never been told what happened between them by my partner, I only hear little bits and pieces from other people. He alwasy keeps me in the dark with issues that arise with his ex. They were together for 4 years so I suppose would have only just broken up prior to my arrival in his life. Im really after some words of advice, Im trying my best to be patient, understanding and trust him but when he doesn't talk to me, and seems to be hiding on the phone - it's hard! Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this