What are the signs of unfaithfulness?

[MrKawabata]

Hi,

How do I know my girlfriend hasn't had sex with another man?

I want to know what signs or answers to look for, because I thought it strange that she expressed doubt over our 17 month relationship after she had been on a holiday resort weekend with her boss. After I confirmed her lack of logic for feeling this way and confirmed that I still loved her, she felt much happier and felt secure again.

Was she wanting to hear from me confirmation that I loved her?

Or, was she saying more than this, and showed guilt signs of unfaithfulness with her boss?

This is difficult for me because I don't know if I should trust her or not? What should I do?

[NJRon]

Well, if you don't trust her, then you don't have much of a basis for a relationship. Look deeper toward the reasons of your mistrust... I doubt they are the result of just a weekend away...

[Aschleigh]

My boyfriend is on vacation now, and I think some doubts come up for me every time he is away for a while. I have been betrayed by those that said they loved me, so it's more about my past than my boyfriend .

2 things: can you openly discuss trust in your relationship with your girlfriend? if you have any experiences with not being able to trust your girlfriends tell her that ,so she can be extra sensitive to it when it comes up.

Also, if you are uncomfortable with her going away with her boss tell her. Maybe next time you could go along or she would tell you that there were like 50 other people at the conference and she didn't she her boss much at all. Do you think there's an attraction there?

 

Either way, trust is hard if you have had past experiences that messed with your ability to have trust in people. ( like chances are we all do)

Express this to your girlfriend and see what her reaction is.

 

Super helpful tip from a women : Women love it when we think our guys are opening up. We feel closer to you. We feel like we are sharing feelings. This is what women do with other women all the time and that's why we have far greater intimacy in our relationships than men have with anyone.

Please get over whatever pride thing keeps you from expressing your concerns with your girlfriend. She will Love it, you will feel closer and that will make her happy.

[Hope75]

Have you had any indications from your girlfriend that she could possibly be attracted to or have feelings for her boss?

 

Other than this questioning of the relationship, how has it been the other 17 months? Any reasons not to trust her otherwise?

[NJRon]

Super helpful tip from a women : Women love it when we think our guys are opening up. We feel closer to you. We feel like we are sharing feelings. This is what women do with other women all the time and that's why we have far greater intimacy in our relationships than men have with anyone.

Please get over whatever pride thing keeps you from expressing your concerns with your girlfriend. She will Love it, you will feel closer and that will make her happy.

 

Actually... they sometimes use that informaton to stomp on your heart. Knowledge is power... and women are much less adverse to using power for gain than men are. So.. don't give it away freely. There are really few women that will actually hang around once they have true intimacy... it's *their* goal. Much like women complain about men leaving after they put out.. most of men's complaints come from women leaving after they bare their soul... you tell me what is rougher to get over.

[hosswhispra]

Signs of unfaithfulness in a women (3 top signs that I know from female aquaintances who were cheating on their husbands or boyfriends)

 

Change in appearance (hair, make-up, clothes, if they're overweight or heavy they'll start losing weight)

 

Spending less time with you

 

If you had a sexual relationship, she won't have sex with you because she's having sex with another guy (and does not want to be unfaithful to him)

[MrKawabata]

Hey,

Thank you for your replies. Infidelity is hard to prove, but I like the idea of sexual withdrawal due to her emotions being given elsewhere (re I think matters are okay, but I think it a good idea for me to be watchful and guard my heart (re

I think the deeper issue could be communication problems (re: Hope75) because she is an independent woman whereas I want us to work together and be concerned about how I feel. There is a very good thread on this at:

 

Cheers everyone.

[ImThatGirl]

After I confirmed her lack of logic for feeling this way and confirmed that I still loved her, she felt much happier and felt secure again.

Was she wanting to hear from me confirmation that I loved her?

Or, was she saying more than this, and showed guilt signs of unfaithfulness with her boss?

This is difficult for me because I don't know if I should trust her or not? What should I do?

 

 

You know - I have just a tad bit of trouble with feeling insecure. Most of the time I feel secure and content in my relationship with my boyfriend. However, on the nights he doesn't stay over, I worry that something will change. I'm an admitted worry wart. When we're together, it's easy to ignore the worries, when we're not, worries slither in easier.

 

My point is, maybe it was just that she needed to hear that everything is good, that you love her, etc. after a weekend apart from you.

[NJRon]

Rodeo-Rider... and I totally agree with you that, in a *mature* relationship, that is less the case. Plus, I love the fact that you used the poppycock...

[MrKawabata]

Hey Guys and Girls,

My girlfriend and I are talking things through. I was pleased to read the post from "I'mThatGirl" because it help me to understand my girlfriend more. Now I know that insecurity doesn't mean guilt.

Regarding the NJRon / Rodeo-rider discussion, I think being open to your girlfriend depends on trust, and whether one is confident of one's feelings and persona being respected or not. In my view feelings of love, joy, happiness need to be reciprocated or appreciated. Otherwise there is the feeling of being used or manipulated by the other person.

Any further comments guys and girls? I appreciate your comments. Cheers!

[Azual]

I know the feelings of being used/taken for granted. I feel a relationship needs to be open, respecting your partners wishes. I'm going through tough times right now, so I know what's really goin' on I guess... lol... or not...

But the feeling of being disrespected, used, or taken for granted... the feelings just hurt. What really gets under my skin is when people just run off to find comfort in others arms instead of sitting their significant other (or partner, you choose. I've been snapped at for that before) and talk it out...

[MrKawabata]

Yep Rodeo, I guess it is the principle "if you don't ask, you don't get".

[ImThatGirl]

Hey Guys and Girls,

My girlfriend and I are talking things through. I was pleased to read the post from "I'mThatGirl" because it help me to understand my girlfriend more. Now I know that insecurity doesn't mean guilt.

Regarding the NJRon / Rodeo-rider discussion, I think being open to your girlfriend depends on trust, and whether one is confident of one's feelings and persona being respected or not. In my view feelings of love, joy, happiness need to be reciprocated or appreciated. Otherwise there is the feeling of being used or manipulated by the other person.

Any further comments guys and girls? I appreciate your comments. Cheers!

 

I am thrilled to see that you and your girlfriend are talking things through and that my comment gave you a bit of insight.

 

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!