Am I crazy???

[barelythere]

OK. Maybe I'm just nuts but I am very worried about something and would like some advice.

 

My husband of 6 years cheated on me with his "first love" while I went out of town to visit relatives. We separated for a few weeks, got back together and then moved out of state over 1000 miles away to get a fresh start.

 

Its now a year later and yesterday, I got a phone call from a girl/woman asking for him and then she asked who I was. When I told her I was his wife, she hung up. It might have been a coincidence, but it got me thinking because I am going to visit relatives again on Tuesday and really have bad feelings about what happened last time I went away. I did some checking on his "first love" and now she lives about a three hour drive from us!!! Seems to me to be a bit too convenient. I mean what are the odds that this girl would move shortly after we did and that close to us? or am I just going insane??? I would really welcome any comments or advice.

[southerngirl]

Oh wow that would make me worry too! Does your husband say anything about this? Did you mention the phone call to him?

 

Well, some collectors have called here for my Mr and when it wasnt him they hung up on me... rude people calling about a very old account that is now paid and done with..

 

Hopefully its something like that, and not the other.

[Scout]

Well, some collectors have called here for my Mr and when it wasnt him they hung up on me... rude people calling about a very old account that is now paid and done with..

 

Right, but this caller made a point to ask the poster first who she was before hanging up. Doesn't sound like a creditor to me...they usually just hang up or say "Well, can you please tell them to call xxxxxxx when they get home..."

 

I would be taking this coincidence pretty seriously, based on her husband's history of infidelity. Not just the call, but that the person he cheated on her with now lives so close, even though they moved a 1000 miles away??? None of this is adding up in a way that would give me a good feeling, I'm afraid to say.

 

To be honest, I might not really go to visit my relatives after all, but let him think I am...and then follow him while he thinks I'm gone.

[southerngirl]

Right, but this caller made a point to ask the poster first who she was before hanging up. Doesn't sound like a creditor to me...they usually just hang up or say "Well, can you please tell them to call xxxxxxx when they get home..."[/Quote]

 

Good point and you are right.

 

Also thats a very good idea to let him think you have gone out of town and follow him. See what he is doing.

 

Or if you wanted you could allways hire a private investigator? Im not sure how much that costs but I know that people are in business to spy on cheating spouses.. At least you could find out once and for all and have evidence too should it turn out he is doing wrong.

[GottaLetItBurn]

I think really the cheating then first time was enough to know you can't trust him. That is probably something you should look more into.

 

I have seen it all my life. My grandmother was cheated on, and it still effects her life 30 years later. It didn't just happen once, it happened over and over.

 

Don't think this can't happen to you, if he cheated on you. The only true way to get this worry out of your life is to leave him. It can't get better, he cheated, that is truly is something that can never be taken back.

 

Lets say she lived next door, do you think he would cheat with her again? If so, then why would a 3 hour drive stop it.

[NJRon]

Did you get the number on caller-id so you can do a reverse lookup?

[barelythere]

Thanks to all of you who replied to my post. I am not now just going home to visit next week - I'm going for good. I have been contemplating whether or not to leave him and this is just the final straw. Even if it is a coincidence, in my heart I just don't trust him

[Rabican]

sounds like you made the right call to me... if you truly dont trust him then its better off done...

 

wise words i once heard when referring to a situation like this:

 

it doesnt matter what happened, it only matters what you THINK happened.

 

think about that.

[xprincessbugx]

i agree. It's all just too weird! I'm glad that you are leaving I think it's better you find someone you can actually trust.

[yeawutever]

Yea it does sounds too odd, but how can you say 100% that he cheated?? Maybe it's just a friend.

[candy604]

are you able to trace the phone number? did she move recently?? that's a bit odd. are you sure you want to move home for good..

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Please don't do anything rash. Take the time to think about this. Is there some way you can cut your trip short without telling your husband and just arrive home as a surprise. It might be the worst thing to catch your husband if he is cheating, but at least you will know for sure. Or, you can look for telltale signs. Before you walk away for good, make sure you have all the facts. Also, you might want to check with a lawyer and make sure you know your rights with regards to the house etc. You don't want him getting everything just because you walked out. Think carefully before you act. Think about your longterm wellbeing. Figure out a gameplan for yourself in case he is cheating. Also, if he is not cheating, you don't want to walk out and regret it.