How many sex partners is to many.

[Eto]

I need at least four sex partners at a time to keep me happy.

[vandgsmom]

Four!! I thought you told me Five....

 

(now what do I tell the other guy I brought??? he is still going to want to get paid, you know... )

[Batya33]

I was tested a month ago no sex partners in between.I get tested regularly.

 

Check the facts, but last time I checked you need to abstain for at least 4-6 months and then get tested again to make sure you don't have HIV. Hope you do check that out.

[Day_Walker]

Check the facts, but last time I checked you need to abstain for at least 4-6 months and then get tested again to make sure you don't have HIV. Hope you do check that out.

 

Technically that is true the HIV virus can remain undetectable for upto 6 months. It can also be detected much sooner than that such as a matter of weeks after contracting it.

What people fail to realize that you can have sex with one person and get an STI or you have have sex with 3000 and get an STI. It all depends on who you sleep with and how they protect themselves. Typically the people who engage in monogomous sex while in relationships often get STIs because they do not take the proper precautions. If the thought of STIs scares you that much then you probably shouldnt engage in sexual activity. The thought of contracting something when a person shows no symptoms, even if protection is used would scare these same people to death.

[craign]

Check the question,im not writing about stds.Is it easier to answer a question about sex partners with "uh you need to get a aids test.I know its good to educate but isnt there a point where you not throw the stds response in there.Pretend i asked this question and no stds existed.Read the question.

[shes2smart]

Maybe it's just me, but I always thought it was poor form (rude) to ask someone for the number of people they've been with. I'm also a little suspect of folks who keep a running tally and offer up that info freely.

 

Ask about their health status/when they last got tested? Sure. Ask about their previous relationships/relationship goals (previously married? eventually want to get married? any long-term relationships? etc)? Absolutely.

 

But a number? Yikes. Not my business. I can't recall ever having been asked the number question. If I had, I could see myself giving a polite non-answer....or perhaps a not-so-polite "none of your business" depending on the situation, person asking and the way the question was asked.

 

Personally, I've felt no need to keep a running tally. The last 10 years of my sexual life have been very different than the first 10. While I don't regret anything I did in the first 10, I don't know that those early mistakes and mis-steps are really anybody's business at this point as they have left no lasting health issues that would affect anyone else.

[Majoraslayer]

Its not really possible to have too many sex partners in the past. I mean, they are in the past. If you don't have any diseases, then whats done is done.

 

Of course, I had the goal to save my first time for my wife, so I had sex with my fiance. THAT worked out well, as anyone can see from reading my posts in the healing forum. Now I regret that, but I wouldn't mind having sex with several more people to distance myself from her, so I think its all in personal opinion of yourself.

[FoxLocke]

If you're not spreading diseases then it's fine...

 

However, I just think people who go over 100 are gross...Sorry that's just me.

That's like a human petris dish.

[TiredMan]

I'll have sex with a woman no matter how many partners she has had or who they were (if she is clean of course).

 

I won't be with her unless the number is low and at least b/f's. And yes, I don't apply that to myself so it's a double standard. But I'm honest about it. I just don't see a woman the same way if she has had a lot or a bunch of one night stands.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Is to many sex partners looked at as being a s l u t .lucky,addicted to sex,or just normal in todays society.I have had about 30 to 35.Im 32 years old.And no i have no stds.Dont preach i know they are out there and very possible to get.Its not to brag but is anyone afraid to commit to a person that has had that many partners.

 

500. I think 500 is too many.

 

No, maybe 5,000 is too many.

 

But more importantly, who cares? Or should I say WHY would someone care?

 

Sort of like the gay thing - to me anyway. I don't care what anyone else does in the privacy of their own bedroom, with whom or how many times. (with the exception of underage people cos I personally don't think that's fair.)

[Cecelius]

I wouldn't date a girl who has an average of more than 1 per year since age 14 with a max cap of 10 (when I hit 40 years old I may raise this).

 

Also, wouldn't date anyone whose list includes dudes in bars, friends, female friends' brothers, more than one guy in a frat, more than 2 guys who know each other...

 

I have no idea what is too much for a woman.

[vandgsmom]

As long as whatever number of women you have been with haven't given you a terminal communicable illness, and have in turn taught you what to do with your thing so i don't have to take the time explaining to you where it goes and how to move it about.....

 

then that is enough....

[TiredMan]

 

But more importantly, who cares? Or should I say WHY would someone care?

 

 

Oh i care.

 

Like I said before, for just sex, I don't care as long as no STD's.

 

But i would NEVER be with a woman who had a lot of partners. If I was with a woman for 25 years and found out she lied and DID have a lot of them, I would just stop seeing her the same. Knowing a whole bunch of dudes were in her, that is just nauseating to me, to be honest.

[Carl5000]

I feel its alll good, lifes about living it to the max and he's obviously having a very good time - also i'm sure the experience will become useful in future relationships.

 

All you have to do, is keep the number of sexual partners u've had to urself, as it will probably be a turn-off for alot of women. If, i was you i'd try and reach 100

 

Practise makes perfect.

[rikka]

If you're not spreading diseases then it's fine...

 

However, I just think people who go over 100 are gross...Sorry that's just me.

That's like a human petris dish.

 

I know two guys who are triple digits (and proud of it). Then again, I wouldn't go near either of them with a 10 foot pole. They are nice guys and all but... yeah.

[Arch Angel]

As long as your clean, numbers only matter to you and the person you are with.

[Juiceman]

I am a medical professional now in my early 50's and have lived through the sexual revolution of the 60's and 70's which was dampened by the onset of AIDS in the 80's through to the present era which is a time of knowledge, reckoning and justification. There is no innocence today, - you can look up and see anything on the internet. If you asked anyone in the 60's to define clitoris the most likely answer would be a roman emperor (girls included). It was such an age of innocence and that was very special 'cause discovery was so damn exciting. I am married now with a family but have had 40 something sex partners before settling down which over 20years I don't think is excessive – in fact I think is great ! With a few exceptions I hold every partner as special and often fondly think back. Included were a few long term relationships and without doubt sex with someone you love is the best but I always found "sex with strangers" so exciting. This was often on holidays or at parties etc (would never go near a hooker) and you have to be a bit choosey. It's like the thrill of the hunt and hey – it was mutual, I wasn't forcing anyone to do anything. Sex along with hunger is probably our greatest urge and motivator – nature provides us with a sex drive to procreate our species (and enjoy doing so) – it's normal and natural and is ultimately designed to provide absolutely the best thing in this world – children !

[craign]

Raingate i wasnt asking for how many people you had been with.Just a question about society.And if you would date someone knowing they had that many/less partners.

[neva_black_n_white]

it really depends on the circumstances and everything to go with it. everyone has different morals or perspectives (not to say one or the other is wrong).

 

i had an ex who had had over 25 sexual partners and i personally found it difficult to begin with. we didnt sleep with each other, i think it would have taken more for me to have considered it (which is probably a harsh statement for me to make.. but sex is a big thing to me.... not saying that it isnt to him, but i analyse and that stopped me)

 

we had a great relationship, he was honest, and he doesnt actually behave in the manner he used to. but i guess it changes things.. maybe it shouldnt

[neva_black_n_white]

sometimes (ive just thought) it could be better if we were naive to these facts.

 

i guess sometimes it isnt about the amount of people, but precautions etc. id like to feel comfortable knowing it was "safe" shall we put it. you know?

[craign]

Some people start haveing sex earlier in life for whatever reason,,,rape,molestaton whatever.I think alot of times this isnt taken into consideration.I have a friend that was molested by her dad from the time she was probally 5 till she was wellim not sure when it stopped.She started having sex with everyone she came in contact with.Her idea of what love was,was very distorted.She assoiciated everyone as a sex object like she was for so long.She has 3 kids now.All by different guys.She would never share what happened to her with just anyone.So honestly i use to make stupid comments like "wow shes a * * * *".I have been around alot of people and got to know alot of differant people.I mean really got to know people.Not sexually but just asked alot of question.Im intersted in human behavior and peoples thoughts towards differant matters.I think some people grow up in really good homes and really sheltered from what goes on in other homes.Some people can be selfish and not take the time to consider why,for whatever it may be.As a example people standing on the corner.Did they just wake up one day and say hey i think ill be homeless.No theres a reason just like my friend.I dont think people just wake up one day and say hey im going to screw every guy i see and then see if they have any brothers and screw them too.Numbers in my opinion are not important.Even though my numbers may be high in some peoples opinion.Theres a reason for my numbers.I have come to terms with mine.Childrens youth can be very distorted.When i asked this question i wasnt looking for one set answer.There wasnt really a answer i was looking for either.I didnt ask this question as some childish"hey i have 30 how many do you have" question.I was just to hear peoples thoughts.If i asked what people thought about my friend how would people respond.HOnestly in your opinion.Im not saying that people dont think.Trust me just reading on here alot of people do think beyond whats in front of them.Instead of making a blanket statement like "wow what a * * * *".Maybe people might say "why is that" "what happened"etc etc.You did respond that way,and thats great to consider there may be more there.Raingate i liked your first response because it talked about what im saying now.Theres more issues with just having a crap load of partners.ill write more later ineed to do something real quick.

[Shahn]

30-35 at the beginning of the topic looks way too much to the eye initially. But once stats and that are worked out, its an acceptable amount. Depends on the person, as others have said. I'm 17, and have had two consentual partners. Thats disgraceful to me because I regret one, and - considering I've only been "legal" for a year in theory, it feels as though I've put it about.

 

I havent, and wouldnt.

[BornToResist]

I ask a guy if he has been tested, when, any std's, etc.

 

I never ask how many sexual partners a guy has had and I wouldn't answer if I was asked.

 

I actually tell my boyfriends NOT to tell me specifically. If it was a lot, I would probably think differently of them and I don't want to do that. I don't care who they were with before me, or who they might be with after. It's not my business and it isn't theirs to know that about me either.

 

I think it is natural to judge people on this information, but I don't really know why.

 

I stick to the rule - If you don't want to know, don't ask. People go through many stages in their lives, and at one point, sleeping around might have appealed to them. Who am I to judge them?

[shes2smart]

I stick to the rule - If you don't want to know, don't ask. People go through many stages in their lives, and at one point, sleeping around might have appealed to them. Who am I to judge them?

 

Exactly!

 

Thing is, there have been threads on here in the past where people *insist* on knowing a number, then...when they find out the number isn't what they expected or think it should be....they can't handle it.

 

Why invite trouble?

 

I think the real information people are after is the health status of a potential partner and what that potential partner is looking for in terms of a relationship at the present time (casual fling? potential mate? monogamous relationship?)....a number by itself will tell you none of those things.

[craign]

Oklahoma city.You know i agree rape molestation whatever IS NOT a excuse for that behavior.I know though people respond very differently in situations.One may never have sex one may have sex with everyone.I think that once you become conscious of the problem and what happened wasnt your fault,then its in your court to change.I was a kid once and alot of my behaviors stemmed from things that happened early in my life.Its almost like i was unconscious of my actions.Then i became aware,and thats when i started taking responsibility for my actions.It was always someone elses fault,i always blamed someone else.Nobody is responsible for my life but me.