Why do we read the forums?

[reddog]

Ever since my first love and ex has broken up with me I like reading these forums. I don't know if its out of finding hope or just reading others problems and wanting to help them. I came to this getting back together forum to find a solution to my problems. To find a way to get back with my ex, but what I found was a way for me to heal and make myself better. This seemed to be the best way to get my ex back and to make myself a better person. It has been around 1 month of NC 2 months apart and I still think about her constantly. I am not moping around, but am trying to be positive in life. I am trying to flirt with girls and be outgoing. I created a myspace site and trying to find friends. Finding friends is harder than finding dates! I have an urge to flaunt my new dates in front of my ex in hopes she will drop the loser she is with and come to me. I really want her to come back on her own, but something has to spark that want. I am becoming a new person with my dieting. It really has boosted my confidence.

 

I also don't want people to follow the same road as me and mess up their life over a girl. You don't want or need that. I keep telling myself you deserve better, but I always think of how great it was between us and not how it was at the end. I think that the girl I fell in love with is in there just waiting for me to come back. I have a hard time putting this part of my life as a learning experience as I put so much into it and for it to fall apart like this kills me. I think I strive to succeed too much. Why do you come back to this forum? Are they similair reasons as me and are my reasons bad?

[mikeca]

we all start looking for that answer, but none will find it, theres no formula to getting someone back, its takes some healing and understanding but mostly it takes two people to make it work.

 

Now i just like to finalize what I originally came here for, and try to help others

[vesper]

you're doing great, keep up the good work.

 

People come to this forum to find answers on their own specific situation and find solice in the idea that there are others out there that have experienced what they have and can understand how you are feeling.

 

to feel connected ultimately.

[rose2summer]

I feel safe here and that people really care about others. It's an amazing site. I talk to my friends about the situation but they work 80hrs/wk, have children, etc. and I feel foolish taking hours of their time to discuss a relationship ending when they really haven't had a bad break-up or the like. It's nice to seek solace and comfort in others words and to see how others have triumphed despite the hurdles.

[Viper62382]

OT, but I like you sig^

[theproman23]

Man you sound like you're going through the same exact thing I am. I come on here because like you said I like reading these forums and I guess seeing how other people are dealing with things. It helps to know you're not alone as this site suggests.

[JohnnyTable]

Sometimes I think that these forums hurt my recovery. I think that coming here is like maintaining a connection to the ex.

 

On the other hand, I have received some incredible advice to help me move on, so all in all its worth it.

 

I am toying with the idea of dropping the forums for a few months and then returning so that I can keep helping people without being here as a connection to my ex.