Faith VS Love

[zmohamma]

I am 27 and she is 29. She is a former co-worker of mine and now a very close friend of mine (1.5 years).

She is single and so am i (both never married). We hang around a "LOT" and go to long weekend trips with other friends.

We both have University degree and work in a professional field. Even though we are friends we treat

each other more formally.

 

Lately i have been thinking about her a lot, at work, at sleep and at dinning table. I feel i have grown

string feelings for her and feel that one kiss from her would give me the strengths to conquer the world.

 

The problem is, we both come from a different background, she is Catholic, little more westernized and i am Muslim,

and little laid back. We both believe in our faith and love our family very much. In long run

these differences may become an issue. But we both like each others company.

 

For past one week i have eating, sleeping and working disorder. She is eating me a live and i am thinkg of

seeking professional help. I do not know why but seeing her with her male friends makes me jealous.

 

Right now i have minimized my contact with her and trying keep our relationship more professional.

Since, she is friends with some of my other friends disconnecting her from my life would raise

lots of questions.

 

If she was from the same background as me i would give up anything to have her.

I want her out of my mind and do not want to feel jalous, What do i do?

[arwen]

I don't think you need therapy for being in love, because that's what it sounds like!

 

I think you might consider just start dating her. As you say, you are both a bit laid back in the religious department, right? I know a lot of couples with cultural differences, and yes, that can be a lot of trouble. But you never know if you don't give it a shot, perhaps?

 

Ilse

[music lover 88]

I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation. I have been there before. I fell in love with a man of a different race and religion than me and we dated for almost a year. I knew it would be hard before our relationship began. In fact I was reluctant to date him because I knew it would be complicated. But nevertheless, I went ahead and followed my heart, emotions more so.

 

It was through my relationship with him that I realized I could not practice my faith and be with him at the same time. Our backgrounds were too different, not just religiously, but culturally. My family didn't support me either, my parents were against our relationship. We broke up a few months ago, because it was too much for me to handle, for both of us. I thought I knew what I was getting into when I started dating him, but I really had no idea.

 

I found out what was really important to me, yes love, of course...but family, faith, tradition, and culture are not easy things to come by and are too far ingrained into who I am for me to have risked losing it. So now I am waiting and looking for someone that I know I share my life with, fully, and both of us be happy in the long run.

 

Ok so--I'm not saying that this is the course you should take. I'm saying that this is complicated and you need to figure out what is important to you and whether those things can exist together. Maybe you should have a talk with her, tell her how you feel? If she feels the same way, then maybe bring up the concerns you have or why you're hesistant to pursue a relationship, and get her perspective as well.

[Beec]

I like the advice above, you need to make a move or decide that you cannot or should not. But if you don't make that move, then I can think of nothing to do away with your feelings. Only thing that would, in my view, meet someone else that you want more.

[zmohamma]

Thanks for the response. I can not make up my mind, everytime i think about it my head spins. Is there any way i can get on with my life without let her know about my true feelings?

[heloladies21]

Thanks for the response. I can not make up my mind, everytime i think about it my head spins. Is there any way i can get on with my life without let her know about my true feelings?

The only other way would be to find someone else. If getting girls is a problem for you, go to these sites. Lots of good info:

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[music lover 88]

From past experience, I know that I've felt better by telling the other person how I feel. Its a relief, you don't have to keep it inside you anymore. Even if you think it might cause problems, atleast you've cleared your head and put everything out there. This way, you can know if she is even interested, before you worry about other things.

 

I was crazy about this other guy who was again, from a different background than me. We were really good friends and would do alot of things together, and started liking him ALOT. I couldn't concentrate, all I could think about was him, but I knew I couldn't date him. So one night I told him how I felt about him, I felt so much better, at least he knew. But I also told him I didn't think it would work so I didn't want us to get involved. He understood why, he came from a strong religious background, different than mine, and could relate to my concerns.

 

It was weird for a while but we were able to remain friends, and both of us had moved on to other people.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Religens are only as old as man but Nature has been around much much longer , love and sex will over come any walls placed by man or gods, its in your very being its in your very blood it is the power of life over death cults the world over.

 

Nature will out, life will always find a way.

[Fallout]

I know this is a pretty old topic but I just have to say this... if you're gonna let religion run your life then you'll never make any decisions yourself, you'll just do what some "holy book" you believe in says. So your only decision is this : are you going to live your life as you want to or as some silly book says?

[zmohamma]

Thanks for all the replies. I have seen a professional Psychotherapist and she suggested that i tell her about my feelings. I am analyzing the situation and trying to find the best time to tell her.

 

Thanks once again.