My g/f contacted my EX and accuses ME of living in the Past

[syborg]

Please help me

 

Me and my g/f (from the philippines) had a bit of a rough patch these past two weeks. I was supposed to visit her but had to postpone due to personal reasons. My g/f said she understood and accepted things, although she was disappointed.

 

However, just last week, I found out that she sent messages to my ex g/f (who as also a filipina) and basically tried to find out as much info as possible. This ex g/f hurt me a lot, so I was very upset that my new g/f spoke to her becasue I HAD TOLD HER EVERYTHING ABOUT MY PAST RELATIONSHIP in an open and honset way, and then left it at that.

 

I told my g/f that I was upset and now she is accusing me of still being in love with my ex and being unable to move forward. This is simply not true and the following facts are true :

 

(1) I told my current g/f about my ex cos SHE asked me about her so I tod the truth and had nothing to hide.

 

(2) My current g/f told me ages she wanted to contact my ex. I told her not to

 

(3) My current g/f took a photo of me and my ex together off her friendster and kept looking at it

 

(4) My current g/f asked me AGAIN what happened between us

 

(5) My current g/f CHOSE to contact my ex when we had a bad time.

 

As you can see, it his her, not I who has shown interest in my ex. I told this to my g/f but she still accuses me of loving her and not letting go.

 

She is acting SO irrationaly and even made out that it was my FAULT she contacted her.

 

Why is she being so irrational when she is very intelligent ?

 

Why can she not accept that her OWN actions are digging up the past and not mine ?

 

I try to tell her all this but she just puts up a barrier and tells me she can't move on with me until I let my ex go. I let me es go over a YEAR ago but she has brought her into out relationship.

 

What can I do. She just wont listen to reason anymore and just tells me to stop arguing.

[Beec]

She feels insecure. Logic is not going to get rid of insecurity. Insecurity is about how she feels, not what she thinks. It comes from a different part of the brain and can override the logical portion, in many esp. women. Address how she feels, make her feel more secure. Let her know she is the one you want.

[rose2summer]

She absolutely had no right to contact your ex. I would leave just based on that, she violated your privacy, and is stirring up problems. I would go no contact for a week or so, letting her know that behavior is not acceptable in your book.

[heloladies21]

Nah, you don't want to reassure her and all that. She'll react like a little kid looking for attention. If you feed into it, she'll continue to do it more.

 

I'd get upset with her for pulling this ridiculous stunt and make her feel guilty for not trusting me when I've done nothing to break it.

 

It was a test, and you can still pass it, but you're going to have to stick up for yourself in order to do it.

[Meow18]

What she did was not right.

 

I agree with the others when they say she is insecure. She's jealous of what you and your ex had before she came along.

 

Normally I would say that jealousy is normal. But what's not normal is when one does something completely crazy because of it. And I think that what she has done because of her jealousy is crazy.

 

You shouldn't have to deal with this. You are trying to move on, but she's making that impossible by bringing your ex into your life again. You should only deal with so much, and you need to decide what the line is and if she has crossed it.

[babypink61]

She's feeling extremely insecure and jealous towards your ex. What she did was wrong and I would classify her as what we call a "psycho" girlfriend. I know girls that have done stuff like that . . . calling up their boyfriend's female co-workers and ex-gf to tell them to stay away from their men. Needless to say, they are no longer with their boyfriends. It's also a respect thing. You have already told her what she needed to know, and she should've just left it at that. She totally invaded your privacy after you had asked her not to contact your ex. I thought that was kind of messed up. If I were you I'd be really upset too.

[syborg]

I told her how upset I was and how i felt betrayed bu her, but she is just using this as an excuse to show that I am the one with issues. She said "your the one who is getting all upset so that means you still love your ex". She wont take the SLIGHTEST bit of responsibility for her own actions and is twisiting everything to me. If I go n/c she will use that as another excuse. It doesn't matter what I do cos whatever I do will be wrong.

[Meow18]

That's too bad. She just doesn't have enough respect for you.

 

How can you be with someone who you can never please? Someone who does something like this to you, then blames YOU?