cant sleep...

[r3drobin]

it's been 2 weeks since he dumped me for good. 2 weeks of zero contact...oh minus the lame bday ecard he sent the day before my birthday, signed "much love, anthony". the past 2 nights i havent been able to sleep and he is heavy on my mind. i would never contact him but i find myself selling my soul to hear a text message on my phone from him. he used to send them daily....even when we were apart he sent them daily..."i miss you", "just thinking about you", etc; this is the longest in over 2 years i havent had contact with him. he's always been the one reaching out...well up until about june of this year when i did a 180 and began my descent to loserville begging for him back. which seems to have done the trick for him as he dumped me for good, dear john letter and all.

and now he's just gone. gone for good. its been a very lonely and quiet 2 weeks...overall i've done pretty good. just these past 2 days... what is it about these past 2 days that has my mind in turmoil. i'm sposed to be healing...moving on. ive really been ok. so why have i hit this...thing...suddenly. especially when i know its over. i know its over. mostly ive felt ok with that...reminding myself of his faults and the pain he caused me. so much pain. so why can i not sleep? why is he on my mind in only good ways? i dont like this and i want it to stop.

please make it stop.

 

robin

[LostInMyThoughts]

rr:

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

I went through the same thing during my divorce. I barely ate, and could hardly sleep.

 

All I can say is take care of yourself; take time to support your feelings, cry scream in anger, everything. It's tough now, but hold on because it does get better. It just takes time honey. It's not much of a solace now, so just support those feelings, and hang in there.

[SarCareBear]

hey, i know there is nothing i or anyone else could say that would really change your life. but you should just know that you are doing one of the hardest things in all of life, and that you are doing a great job. don't forget all the family and friends that still care about you! keep being strong and treating yourself well, best of luck.

[r3drobin]

thank you and guess what... i'm over it !!! i just really messed up and looked at his stupid myspace page!!!!!! what a slap in the face with reality... reality that he is A BIG FAT JERK and i deserve better!!!

 

now...where is better!!!! i need him now!!!!

[HeartAche]

now...where is better!!!! i need him now!!!!

 

How you doin'

[mikeca]

oh...go running...theres not yet i've found to get me tired for sleep / too tired to think of them..

[tretneo]

r3drobin,

 

Hey, sorry you had to see something on myspace that you didn't expect to or want to see. My ex-gf left me to live a lesbian lifestyle about 3 weeks ago. She was distant and spending a lot of time out with her friend and I questioned her on it. She told me that she wanted to end our relationship because she was confused and was young and wanted to have fun and go out guilt free. Her story changed many times before she admitted to me a week later that she was starting a new relationship with this woman she had become friends with and had been hanging out with for about 2 - 3 weeks.

 

Anyway back to the myspace thing. I decided to move and started spending a lot of time on myspace blogging my feelings and adding friends that I had lost touch with. During this time Stephanie was dating her gf and spending the night with her and all that. I started leaving flirting comments with another girl on myspace that happens to be a friend of 8 or so years. This other girl and I are not interested in being together or anything but this is how we acted before I met my gf and I had stopped it all during the relationship.

 

A couple of days after this myspace behavior, Stephanie flipped out on me and was very angry calling me a pig and all that kind of stuff. The next day I went over to her place to get some of my things and it was an ok morning with her. She was crying and telling me that she made a mistake and wishes she never let me go and she regrets it already. But she never once said she wanted to change things from this point. That evening I mistakingly went on her myspace and saw pictures of her and her new gf at a bar together all close and loving and whatnot. That hurt me deeply

 

Also the same day she called me and left me a voicemail asking me if I could help her with getting her new laptop working on the wireless connection at her new girlfriends house!!!! that felt like a huge slap in the face.

 

Because of these last two things I got in gear and stopped being the hurt wounded animal that would talk to her and be upset and hurt and asking her why? and can we? and all that. I decided to move my things ahead of schedule and when I called to notify her she got very angry at me for being what she said was "mean" and "cold sounding". I honestly was just being to the point and trying to be without the emotion I have been pouring over her for the last 3 weeks.

 

Anyway all of that was just to give some background and leave a reminder to anyone, once it is over and you know it is over DO NOT go seeking information or confirmation of what they are doing. Especially if you already know they are involved with someone. It is tempting but it isn't worth it.

 

Rob

[r3drobin]

yea it wasnt worth it

[r3drobin]

Heartache...

now if you only lived closer!

[shamus]

robin,

 

this is actually normal, for you to have ups and downs. some days will be good, some wont. eventually it does get easier. Sometimes i wonder what the ex is up to, but more out of curiosity...as nutty as she was, a small piece of my heart will always be hers, and it is tough. But no way would I ever take her back. I havent heard from her, and I really dont want to.

 

just continue to roll with the punches, even when it seems the world is knocking you down. you will get through this. keep yourself busy. for me the hardest times were at night, when I'd be by myself. I was so used to either being at my ex's or talking to her on the phone.

[backformore]

I know what you are talking about--I AM THERE. Although mine texts me * * * * like, you can keep the ring, I want you to have it, I don't hate you , I love you, and * * * * like I'll miss you, but......I don't know what to say because I can't sleep either--I was up for 41 hours last week, JUST SICK. If you find releif let me know please