Broke NC for BDay

[rimshot22]

Well, after a couple of weeks of debate I finally decided to email her happy birthday wishes after NC for almost 2 months. It was a good time, because I was going out of town and wouldn't be able to obsess over checking my email for a response (although I don't think I would have done that anyway). I did eventually check later that night and found that she had replied very quickly. Short thank you, to the point-much like my email was. Thought, OK...that wasn't so bad. It didn't change the way I feel and I was OK. Later that night, while out with coworkers at a conference I got a text from her at 10:30 saying thank you (again) for the birthday wish. Shook me up a bit because that was not a response (or time) I was expecting. I've since tried to let it go. It is what it is...a simple text. If she wants more, she'll have to let me know. It's nice feeling in control of my emotions (at least mostly) again.

[Scout]

That's good rimshot...you did what you felt would be the high road thing to do, acknowledge her birthday. But the high road should stop here. You don't have to respond back to her, in fact, I really don't recommend it. Remember, this is the girl who is unsure about everything. Which means she is unsure about her feelings for you. If she's ever going to miss you and realize she wants you back, it has to be because you're not around...either in person or via text message. In other words, she has to see that you are actually moving on quite capably with your life, without her. (er, even if inside it feels like you're really not)

[Past2Future]

That's good rimshot...you did what you felt would be the high road thing to do, acknowledge her birthday. But the high road should stop here. You don't have to respond back to her, in fact, I really don't recommend it. Remember, this is the girl who is unsure about everything. Which means she is unsure about her feelings for you. If she's ever going to miss you and realize she wants you back, it has to be because you're not around...either in person or via text message. In other words, she has to see that you are actually moving on quite capably with your life, without her. (er, even if inside it feels like you're really not)

that works both ways too. When you dont contact her, you will eventually get over her completely (in a sense) and if she does come back, you might be happy where you are and deny her.

[rimshot22]

That's kind of where I'm at. I still love her, but not the same way as before. I feel hurt, but also feel stronger each day that passes. If she came to my door today I really don't think that I would take her back. Thinking of the negatives in our relationship have been enough to keep me from contacting her. I'm convinced, even though I definitely share some responsibility in our failure, that she is the one that needs to make changes-not me. That's one aspect that has made NC easier. If she can't change (her attitude and happiness), I don't want her.

[Scout]

Yeah, you just know if the those changes aren't made, any reconcilation won't last long, anyway. And then you'd be right back at square one with your healing.