HELP! I am really confused!

[scaruff]

A male friend in his mid twenties told me that the majority of men lie to women and that they really don't respect them. He also told me that the main reason men get married is because of sex (having children and companionship were other reasons). He also added that men only have conversations with women because of sex. Then they get married to one girl, only because it's "really hard" to find girls to have sex with in the dating scene.

 

Please tell me that not men all men are like this! Although, he also said that if a man says that it's not true, they are only playing the "sensitive" card to get women.

 

I do not wan't to lose faith in men I feel odd now if a man strikes up a conversation with me now...if what my friend said is generally true. I would hate to be with someone that did not respect me and only viewed me as a sex object and a pod to have children....PLEASE help!

[cherry_o88]

at the moment im totally hurt by my exbf dating the girl who broke us up. and i found out the hard way, so yea i have to agree with your friend at the moment.

[ElektraHere]

So this mid twenties guy speaks for all men of the world? I dont think so! Lets use common sense here, there are always the bad apples its just that you have to trust your instincts. If something is off about a guy then there probably is something up.

[scaruff]

So this mid twenties guy speaks for all men of the world? I dont think so! Lets use common sense here, there are always the bad apples its just that you have to trust your instincts. If something is off about a guy then there probably is something up.

 

He emphasized that not all men are like this, but in general most men are. He said that this is what surveys state....he's a very analytical type of guy. He's in the scientific field.

 

I would love to know what the men here are going to say.....Please help!

[ElektraHere]

I dont care if he was President or King he cant speak for men at all. Thats just ludacris.

 

May I ask how old you are?

[scaruff]

I am 26 and dying to know what the men think about this...not that I don't appreciate your responses ElektraHere. I just don't want to lose my faith in men. His statements have shaken me a bit, honestly.

[Heartshock]

Pleeeaaasssseee! Talk about wearing your issues on your sleeve.

I'm always amazed when people claim to speak for all of thier sex, thier race or thier culture.

 

Dude, thank your friend for sharing his own personal view on relationships, SCARY THOUGH THEY ARE, but in your heart of hearts know he is only talking about who HE is,(messed up) and how HE feels.(messed up)

 

You would be do more to pity the person he eventually hooks up with, than to view the world by his jaded and emotionally bizzarre landscape.

 

Read a couple of postings on eNotalone and you will soon realise that there are a lot a guys who wouldn't have a clue what he is talking about.

[ElektraHere]

I am 26 and dying to know what the men think about this...not that I don't appreciate your responses ElektraHere. I just don't want to lose my faith in men. His statements have shaken me a bit, honestly.

 

Well they will probably say the same thing. There are some bad one as there are some good ones. YOU just have to be able to decipher the difference. Also if you put that much faith and credibility into 1 guy then you are going to be disappointed over and over. Its just his opinion just like it is yours, mine, or the other enotters.

[scaruff]

Thanks Elektra and Heartshock...

 

BUT are there any men who want to state their thoughts on what my friend said? Please men, I need some help here!

[itsallgrand]

This reminds me of Epimenides paradox. A Cretan says "All Cretans are liars".

 

It's not really a paradox. The Cretan who says the statement could be the only liar among Cretans.

 

Just replace 'Cretan' with 'man'. A man says "All men are liars".. It doesn't make sense....It could be only one man, your friend, who is 'lying' or wrong.

 

This friend of yours is just bitter or something. Use your own head and heart to decide how men are. You have nothing to be 'confused' about.

[itsallgrand]

hehee. That's extra funny considering this dude is in a scientific field and analytical!

 

yup, i'm a nerd.

[Dara]

If all men want from other people is sex, then why do they have guy friends? A woman can be a good friend too.

[lanty3]

BUT are there any men who want to state their thoughts on what my friend said? Please men, I need some help here!

hi scaruff , i`m a man( i guess) and i`ll try to help. first: you seem to be overly sensative toward negativity. i have the same problem. that`s something individuals have to learn to overcome. ( maybe that`s why he said those things knew it would bug you.) which leads to my second point:

most of these men your "friend" spoke about look for women who are susceptible to thier line of B.S. and obviously they find them. like elektrahere said,YOU have to be able to decipher the difference.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

What your male friend said is just as ludicrous as saying that most women are gold diggers and just want a man to take care of them financially, and will thereforeeee lie through their teeth and say anything to get this guy's money. You can't make generalizations like that. Everyone is different. Maybe men are not answering this because they find the comments so preposterous. Just because he is a scientist, doesn't make him all-knowing. I am a scientist as well and have certainly seen my fair share of very arrogant scientists who think they know everything about everything. As a previous poster wrote, just look at the pain expressed by many of the male posters on these boards. Women do not hold the monopoly on deep and sincere emotions.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I think the main reason men strike a conversation with you in a social environment is the hope of having sex. If they're not doing that you can probably tell. What else would they be doing though? I don't think that's why men marry though.

 

I have a female friend who has lots of guy friends, but are actually in my opinion all circling around her trying to have sex. It's fairly obvious to me but she's really friendly and flirty so they continue along in the hope. And actually she's really clever because she never gives any up. I can't tell if she's just being dumb or she really doesnt realise.

 

Men and women are different I dont think you should be shocked or upset to discover men are trying to have sex with you. That's what we do!!!!! The mistake would be to think of that as a bad thing- and then go around believing all men think with their thang.

 

Some might want to be your friend first because they want to get to know you and be with you. Some are standing there trying to stop the drool in their mouth from spilling out while they nod to you. People are different- some women care only about man's job or his muscles or "the way he makes me laugh" etc....

 

But ultimately, isnt everyone just running around trying to have sex or trying to not think about sex (because they want to have sex)? Doesn't mean they're going to just do you and run.

 

It's not a bad thing. Everything else is doing it too!!!!!

[Momene]

I have and have had lots of purely platonic friendships with girls. I'll admit I get a buzz if a girl is attracted to me but that's as far as it goes. I have sex with my wife and her alone. I never have sought sex with lots of different girls simultaneously and would not even if I were single again.

 

I think girls can also lie but I'm lucky in that whatever other difficulties I'm having, at least my wife is honest.