notanymore Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 its been more than 5 months since we broke up, 3 months of Nc, though i see her everyday in college, i have not broken NC.Today is her Birthday Should i text her or call her ...not that i expect her to respond but still.... help me out pls Link to comment
PRSOV Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 I wouldn't message her to even say happy birthday... She treated you like crap, let her be now... Congratulations on making such good progress with NC. PR Link to comment
arwen Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Don't break NC for a b-day. It's just an excuse to contact the ex and try to feel the waters I think. What if there is no response or a response that you really don't like? That will be a major setback in healing. Ilse Link to comment
Rabican Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 id say a happy bday message wouldnt be soo bad if you guys parted on semi decent terms. If it was a you i hate you you cheater sort of breakup... then I wouldnt break nc Link to comment
xmrth Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Well, no contact is no contact. Breaking it to say happy birthday would be like breaking it for any other reason, which would defeat the purpose. Link to comment
notanymore Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 the question that comes to my mind is ... so what if she cheated on me,so what if she sucked my life out of me , i can't stope being the nice person thaat i am, i know it sounds too cliched but, i dont expect a responce.... really sorry but i m in a dilemma... the good part though is that i am not drinking my woes away today. she s not worth it. Link to comment
Orlander Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 its her birthday today: shud i break NC NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
crvers Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Realize whatever you do, won't change what has happened. I posted a thread the other week regarding this same question and from all the posting concluded: Do what is right for you, and what will make you happy. -If you send a happy birthday text, have absolutely no expectations of the outcome of sending it. Do it for your own piece of mind if you think you'll feel like crappola if you don't. -Don't send one if you are doing this to see if she'll react in any way. Even if she does, again it doesn't change what has happened. Don't send one if you have an alterior motive to it. But, even after all that, since you are posting and sound very confused as to whether or not you should you probably shouldn't. Any response or no response will most likely upset you and cause a major speedbump again. Its a speedbump just getting by the birthday, do you really want to make it worse if she never says 'thank you' to your nice gesture. I think not. I wouldn't rock the boat, in the end it aint really worth it. I know thats what I am going to do even though it'll bother me not to do anything. At least that way there's nothing to regret. Link to comment
xmrth Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 the question that comes to my mind is ... so what if she cheated on me,so what if she sucked my life out of me , i can't stope being the nice person thaat i am, i know it sounds too cliched but, i dont expect a responce.... really sorry but i m in a dilemma... the good part though is that i am not drinking my woes away today. she s not worth it. The bottom line is that you don't owe her anything; especially after things like that. I didn't even know it was like that when I originally responded, and that description is pretty bad. It's not about being a nice guy-- don't be a tool, don't call her. You know, as hard as that is to say, don't be a tool. You don't owe her anything, but even moreso, you've come this far with no contact. It's JUST her birthday; try to think of it as literal as it is. Link to comment
therealshrek Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 i broke NC a couple days ago on what wouldve been our 4 year anniversary. i left the ex a voicemail just saying hello and wishing her well. she replied with a txt msg stating, "have a great summer". It broke my heart getting that txt, for some reason, and Ive been relapsing these last couple days because of it. id say dont contact her, but at the same time... do what you feel you must do. if i hadnt called her on our anniversary, it would still be crawling around in my head.... Link to comment
notanymore Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 i broke NC a couple days ago on what wouldve been our 4 year anniversary. i left the ex a voicemail just saying hello and wishing her well. she replied with a txt msg stating, "have a great summer". It broke my heart getting that txt, for some reason, and Ive been relapsing these last couple days because of it. id say dont contact her, but at the same time... do what you feel you must do. if i hadnt called her on our anniversary, it would still be crawling around in my head.... thats wht i m bothered about, there is a party in a few hrs, everyone's been invited. i dont plan to go, i only intended to text her. but i dont want to be looked upon as mean by everyone else, i know, it might harm my healing process, i think i wont attach too much importance to it.If its NC , it will remain so. Link to comment
crvers Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Again, the bottom line should be: Do what feels right for you. Thats all you can do. Link to comment
sukerbut Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Dont join the cub..you know the answer already..NO !!!! she aint thinking aout you any more, why give her more reason to be happier...you know what i got as a reply..hey thanks..yeah that made me feel good Link to comment
lady00 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 If she invited you to the party, you might want to send a short note saying happy b-day and thanks for the invite but you can't make it. Link to comment
notanymore Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 no , i m not contacting her and thts final , thank you all Just heard this beautiful song by lobo.I guess i m not in love with her anyomore but i cant help being a die hard romantic. this one goes out to love ( not lovers) cheers everyone I stopped sending flowers to your apartment You said you aren't home much anymore I stopped dropping by without an appointment Cause I'd hear laughter coming through your door. Sometimes late at night you'll still call me Just before you close your eyes to sleep You make me vow to try and stop by sometime Baby that's a promise I'can't keep. I love you too much to ever start liking you So lets just let the story kinds end I love you too much to ever start liking you So don't expect me to be your friend. I don't walk down through the village or other places That we used to go to all the time I'm trying to erase you from my memory Cause thinking of you jumbles up my mind. You always act so happy when I see you You smile that way you take my hand and then Introduce me to your latest lover That's when I feel the walls start crashing in. Link to comment
mikeca Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 is that a real song? and I think your doing the right thing. Link to comment
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