stories of karma

[cherriecheek]

hey everyone,

 

after reading enivel's story about his Karma situation, i was wondering if any dumpee has any stories of how karma effected their ex after the relationship ended?

 

please share your story

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I am not understanding this karma thing when a person ends a relationship. What is wrong with the person knowing he/she is not happy in the relationship anymore and allowing both persons involved to seek true happiness? I ended a relationship last year because I was miserable. I deserve to be happy and I hope my ex finds happiness too.

 

So, explain to me why a dumper has to have karma happen to him/her.

[Beyondthesea]

I can see why people are angry and hurt when a break up happens, but I also wonder why everyone is so hell bent on their ex having something horrible happen to them.

 

In reality, regardless of the circumstances, the relationship just wasn't working on one level or another. I've been dumped in the past, and I'm grateful for it now. If I stayed with any one of those guys, I would not have been happy and certainly wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet my fiance.

 

I think real karma has to do with someone who is truly a bad person and spreading their negativity to good people.

[PRSOV]

Hey there,

 

I am not understanding this karma thing when a person ends a relationship. What is wrong with the person knowing he/she is not happy in the relationship anymore and allowing both persons involved to seek true happiness? I ended a relationship last year because I was miserable. I deserve to be happy and I hope my ex finds happiness too.

 

So, explain to me why a dumper has to have karma happen to him/her.

 

I think she means if a partner cheats on you and then leaves you for someone else... then if karma strikes back on that person for treating the other significant badly.

 

Leaving someone to find happiness is a different story I guess...

 

I don't have any karma stories

[kellbell]

I read enivel's thread and that is NOT karma IMO. She realized she make a mistake and wants him back. To me, he is backup, if he takes her back, he perhaps will be an emotional crutch for her to get over the guy she left him for. Just my thoughts.

[cherriecheek]

my ex and i did not end on bad terms and i would rather have us be happy without eachother than unhappy together...

 

im not looking for stories of how the dumper was punished for ending a relationship, just examples of how breaking up with someone has come full circle or worked out for the best, whether the two of you got back to together or moved on

[Boughtandpaidfor]

My very first girlfriend treated me like ?*@! and really used me and let me down and took advantage of a very stupid innocent young boy. She has a debilitating disease now. I don't think the two are connected. But if I wanted to obviously I could connect them. That would be my karma I think, rather than hers. It wouldnt do me any good.

[NJRon]

The funny thing is, with karma, you cannot tell what is effecting karmic retribution, as it spans lives. Just because someone jilts you and something happens to them later does not mean that one resulted in the other. In fact, they could be entirely unrelated. One person can have complete and total failure in every single relationship, be used, abused, etc. Who's to say that *they* aren't the ones reaping karmic retribution for wrongs done in past lives.

 

I fully believe that what comes around goes around. However, who knwos when that will happen. I, for one, don't plan on sitting around waiting

[Beec]

I just don't get seeing karma in such things as something bad happening to anyone. I don't get taking pleasure in someone else misery. It's not good for me to take such pleasures, other than maybe in slapstick comedy.

 

I recently saw my ex of a couple years ago, and we each avoided talking to each other. When I think of things that transpired between us, I still, unfortunately, have some anger. But I don't want someone else to do to her what i feel she did to me. No, I am happy now, I have a wonderful woman, shouldn't that be more than enough. This ex was not the right one for me, but I hope for only the best for her. And when I don't, I try to convince myself to do so. But I do not take pleasure in her unhappiness.

[enivel]

Well, if any of you read my thread about karma, it is about both people having to realize what they lost and feeling that loss. I feel that too often the dumper has very little suffering, and it is all put on all the shoulders of the dumpee, who also feels very guilty and inadequate. Often right after a relationship it seems that the dumpee moves on quickly and often doesn't have to deal with his/her feelings because that person often gets angry or cold to bring themself to the level of breaking up.

[kellbell]

Enivel,

 

 

I resent very much your postion on the dumper has it easy. It does NOT only fall on the dumpees shoulders. I too, suffered months BEFORE the breakup and even after. Here are my threads of my story in case you are interested.

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I did read your thread and I am not sure how your story fits into the prospect of karma.

[Beyondthesea]

Agreed. I really suffered in my past relationship as well, and it wasn't easy for me.

 

When in the types of draining relationships kellbell & I have been in, you are completely mentally and utterly exhausted by the time you leave, and I'm certain kellbell also gave her ex ample chance to redeem himself, as did I.

 

Dumpers do not always just think "well this relationship is great but I'm outta here!" My suggestion is that if you get dumped and you thought the relationship was 'fine' really reflect upon it and try to see what it looked like on the other side of the fence.

[amazing_wierdo]

I have a karma'tic story!

 

My ex broke up with me 2 months ago. After 2 weeks she stopped stringing me along because she started dating some guy from NYC. So, it has been a month and a half and now she tells me that they are both in love and she would marry him but he isn't ready yet.

 

I sacrificed a lot more than she did. I gave a lot more than she did. I made plenty of mistakes but she did as well. We had problems but I was willing to work on ALL of them! Keeping us together for the sake of our son, among other things. I posted some wonderful lines she gave me during this at

 

Now she gets to move up to NYC and have fun. She just got back from a "vacation" up there she was on for a week. She is trying to persuade our son how great New York is. She is also trying to feed me lines like, "Our son loves in up there!" She accuses me of being selfish and being mean just to hurt her, simply because I don't want my son moving up there away from his family (both my family and her family, and myself of course).

 

Anyway, shes happy. Having fun being taken out while this guy spends insane amounts of money on her. Meanwhile I have to accept that my son doesn't get the stable family he needs and that I was completely screwed over. Where is my fun? I don't wish anything wrong on her, but how can this be right?

 

Someone please fix karma. It doesn't seem to be working correctly right now.

[enivel]

Enivel,

 

 

I resent very much your postion on the dumper has it easy. It does NOT only fall on the dumpees shoulders. I too, suffered months BEFORE the breakup and even after. Here are my threads of my story in case you are interested.

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, I did read your thread and I am not sure how your story fits into the prospect of karma.

 

Every situation is different. In the case of my last relationship, there is some degree that I deserve it... I don't wish suffering on anyone. But in the case in point, the relationship from long ago, I believe that karma is when someone does understand what they lost, seeing something for what it is and how much potential is could have had, after leaving someone to pursue someone because he had a lot of money.

 

There are definitely bad relationships and good ones. In truth no one really deserves to suffer.

[HellFrost666]

Edit: I'm taking this message elseware, too out of place.

[NJRon]

Sometimes the dumper ends the relationship to stop the suffering of the dumpee. Anyone who thinks it's not painful to watch someone you care for suffer merely because you are unable to give them the love they deserve is sadly mistaken. Sometimes it takes more courage to break things off than it does to just stick with things, slowly watching it decay while the pain and guilt mount.

[kadvati79]

I've posted this elsewhere.

 

I think practically everyone dumps someone, at some point in there life.

 

When i have dumped someone, I have always ended up with regret and suffering MUCH later. But that regret and suffering is NOT in dumping them but in the fact that I didn't love them. Over time I came to a point where I wished with my heart and soul that I did because they loved me so much!

 

I think, as a general rule, it may initially seem the the dumper has less troublesome emotions as the dumpee. Most because of the associated self-esteem hit. But over time this gives way to many more, much more complex emotions. The dumper has to deal with a decision they made... the dumper has to deal with the decision that was made for them.

 

I think grace, dignity, and compassion from a dumper can actually make it harder on the dumpee... to an extent... it reinforces the whole "he was so perfect" mentality. Basically, as a dumpee, you can't escape the emotions initially they are just there. MOST dumpers (not all) will experience at least some degree of relief at finally making a decision that has been plaguing them for some time.

 

Always remember that time eventually makes us all deal with our decisions and their consequences, regardless of how far and hard we run.