I lost my son on 4-22-06

[Justjoee]

My 12 year old son was involved in a freak accident back in march of this year. he had mulitple broken bones and damage to his internal organs. I have been divorced from his mother since dec of 99. and only got to see either one of my children on a limited basis summers and some vacations ; as we lived 1700 miles apart from each other. in april after doing better he fell and redamaged his liver , before the damage could be repaired my son died. I flew back and forth during the month period. I lost my Job but My son was more important than any 1 job. I during this period went into a deep depression, causing the breakup of a relationship that i was in. Yhe person i was involved with was younger than myself and well showed the lack of common sense. and Maturity during this time . So i ended the relationship as to seek the proper help i needed. I turned to a group of people an online pool league ( go figure ), It took the consideration of one fine Lady to put me on a track that has been so very helpful and has once again helped me Grieve in my own way but at the time i am still feeling so Sad at the loss of one precious little boy who was my world , even though we went not phyiscally close we spoke everyday and well played a lot of pool online. This empty feeling is so horrible at times i want to just burst and well i cry every day still for my son this empty feeling dosnt seem to go away ...... through out it all i have been able to maka a few good friends and even though i have never met these people thay have become a Special part of my life Thank you Jess u Know who u are and all of My Longshot family. I honestly dont know what i would have done , with out this fine group of people in my life I am Still depredded and Unemployed but My attitude is getting better with each Passing Day. The emptiness i feel wont go away in any time soon people told me to do something to help someone and i might feel better , I have and will continue but the HOLLOW empty Feelings Just dont seem to Go Away.

[Bkoguy07]

I'm sincerely sorry to hear about your loss. He'll definitely be in my prayers. I have had a similair experience just on 7/15/2006. I lost my best friend in a car accident. He was 16. It was a freak accident, he flipped his jeep on a steel colvert, the only one on the highway... but it hurt so bad the first few days but, i realized he's in a better place and must be having fun... just many events took place to show me that he was in a better place. For example... I went to look at the accident sunday and i couldnt find it so i prayed and prayed to show me a sign and let me find the accident and to tell me he was ok... and god answered it... i was walkin around lookin for it in the median and to no avail i couldnt find it but as i was leaving this lady stopped and showed me everything, and it really gave me closure. but, your child is in heaven now looking down on you prolly wonderin why u are sad so at least try to cheer up... i am tryin as well...just live everyday like its your last... i hope i helped some what with my useless rambling...

[justpaisley]

Please let me first say that I am so, so incredibly sorry. Your pain must be unbearable, and understandably so.

 

They say time heals all wounds... not entirely true, but with time, things do become easier to handle. Please keep your friends and family close to you, don't shut them out. They will be the ones to help you most.

 

My sincerest condolences to you.

[SaraJane]

I too am very sorry for your loss... I could not fathom what it must be like to deal with the loss of a child, and it is by far my greatest fear.

 

It is great that you have made friends and found people to lean on, sometimes just expressing your feelings to a person who sincerely cares about you and your situation can make a world of difference.

 

I lost my father 6 years ago and the circumstances of our relationship made his death a very very difficult thing for me to cope with. If it had not been for the few people I could turn to (most of which were online friends) I may have had a much harder time handling the emotions.

 

Your precious child is still your child, and your love for eachother will never fade... though he is not with you, you can still treasure and embrace the memories and the joys that you shared. He is.

 

Your other child (chidren?) need for you to be strong and take care of yourself. There is nothing that can be done to erase the pain and anger, but it doesnt mean that you cannot still have joy and laughter to help you through.

[southerngirl]

Joe,

Im glad to see that you have finally posted! This forum here will be alot of help. Im so very sorry for your loss. No the feeling wont go away for a long time but as each day passes its going to get easier to live with the pain. Im glad that the league has helped you. It's sure gotten me through some rough patches. Know this.. I am here for you, when you need a friend I willl be here.

 

Jess aka Southerngirl

[coollady1957]

Justjoee , I want to offer you my most sincere condolences on the loss of your son. I can only imagine the difficulty you must be going through having lost a child.

 

My husband passed away a couple of years ago , so I can understand the empty hollow feelings that you have. It is OK to cry and let your sorrows out so to speak. There were times when I even went outdoors fell to my knees and screamed, cried, and yelled at the top of my lungs to release my grief and feelings.

 

Time will allow you to learn to deal with the loss in a better way. Allow yourself to go through the grieving processes. Sometimes it takes longer for some people than others to get the the acceptance point and learn how to focus our feelings in positive ways.

 

If you ever need to talk, vent or just lay your feelings out there, feel free to PM me here . I can't say that I totally know how you feel, because you have lost a child, I lost a husband. But I can relate on the level of suffering the loss of a dearly loved one, and going through process of grieving and all the feelings of emptiness that you now have.

 

Take care. There are so many great , compassionate and understanding people here on ENA. I hope that you can find comfort in posting here.

 

Coollady1957

[boybornbad]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my eldest brother when he was 10. He was killed by a speeding driver. My dad was the local doctor on call at the time and was called out to the accident. He didn't know it was his eldest son, his first born, until he pulled back the blanket. It was his dearest child lying there. It has been 20 years and he still hasn't really got over it. There are still 6 of us thank God and he has us. We've been through it all and the adage about time healing wounds isn't exactly true. Because the scars remain.

We all suffer still for our loss. I can only offer you the comfort of knowing that your child is in heaven and you will see him again. God knows your pain, your suffering will pale into distant memory when you get to meet your special child again. I don't know why and I'm still angry. Please believe, your child is with you every single day of your life. God bless

T

[sonjam]

Oh Joe, I'm so very sorry to hear about your son. The distance between you doesn't mean that you loved him any less, and that he loved you any less. In my opinion it just makes it so much harder.

 

The pain will never go away, but eventually you will learn to live with it, and it gets easier.

 

It is also my biggest fear, to loose my child, but alas they are just on loan to us until their father in heaven calls them back. We have to love them, cherish them and keep them until he calls them back. You will be re-united with him one day, but until then, carry his love in your heart. Plant a tree in your garden, and care for it. It will be a great remembrance of him, and it will give you something to focus on that is ALIVE. His memory. Post any time you need to talk, and nobody expects you to let it go. We are here to support you and help you through it.

[lizzieluvsdavid]

I am also sorry for your loss. My younger sister was killed almost a week ago when her sportbike collided with a truck that ran a red light. My boyfriend (now ex) was the paramedic on the call and he did everything he could to save her. He called me immediately and I met them at the hospital. I held her hand as a single tear rolled down her cheek and she looked at me and I will never forget what she said. She said, "Tell Anthony that I love him with all of my heart and I will meet him on the other side. Tell him that I will be watching over him and we will be together again....he is my soulmate. The only pain that I feel is in my heart in knowing that we can't be together. I love you and tell mom and dad that I love them too. We will all meet again...I will be waiting." She closed her eyes and her heart stopped beating, while she was still holding my hand. Her lungs had collapsed and it was too much for her heart. I know this HOLLOW empty feeling that you described for it is all that I feel now. She was my best friend and not a second goes by that I don't think about her. Everything reminds me of her. Nothing comforts me and I am filled with so many questions that I will never have the answer to. You will be in my prayers.

[need2bme]

I am so sorry guys, for your losses. I cannot begin to comprehend. I will say a group prayer for you all. God bless.

[Belgian girl]

Sorry from me as well. I've had a lot at this forum when I felt very alone, frustrated, sad,.. hope you do as well. Also I think every day about dear people who have died and for me religion gives a lot of strength. Also as you said by helping other people (but: who 'deserve' it, in my eyes..) makes me feel better. Think you've made already very good efforts. Perhaps make sure to fill in some things in your life what make it stable enough like usual activities, same hours. And make sure to have enough social contact. I feel sorry I can't give very usefull advice for this situation because I have never been close to something like this.

I wish you all the best,

Susan

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Justjoee, you're in my thoughts. I am so sorry for your loss but I hope that with each passing day, your spirits are up, if not the whole dayfor at least a great portion of it. My Godmother lost her son 15 years ago in a car accident and I felt her pain this past May when I lost my father. I am still crying about it. It will never be easy and it will never go away, but each day or week or month or year, the pain sort of turns into something more tolerable that helps us "deal" with it, which is what we're forced to do. Sometimes great friends and family support helps that transformation.

 

God Bless You.