ang3l2004 Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Well I know you probably have read alot about me and my ex and his bestfriend liking me and me starting to like my bestfriend.....Well I have learned alot over the years and I dont understand alot of things...I dont understand how people can be so hard and make other people miserable and be so rude....My ex broke up with me 2 years ago we were together almost 3 years he kept me on a string after we broke up and still does 2 years later make attemps to keep me there...It actually got really old quick and made me start thinking and dislike him he is an adult a 28 yr old adult who acts like a child and plays to many mind games with me and seems to hurt me over and over again me knowing that I let him do it everytime makes me even more mad but sometimes I fall right back into a trap that I cant get myself out of which sucks.....My bestfriend and me were real close like brother and sister and I stay away from him now because he has changed and is really not who I thought he was and I thought I loved him but he walks all over me.... Well my exs bestfriend was trying to get with me until my ex found out and became very over protective calling me yelling stating that it's not right im hanging out with his bestfriend without him there even though we were just hanging out as friends.....Told me all the I love you miss yous last week said he broke up with his girlfriend and that he cant love noone like he loved me that of course right there started making me think again and I hate when that happens but then 2 days go by I find out he is back with this girl after just talking about marriage with me AGAIN he is bi polar or something changes from oneday to the next and lies to me like crazy im sick of it... What do I do I am so tired of dealing with him yet after all the bs and drama I do still care for him that is the type of person I am I am just caring I let him do this to me over and over been going on 5 years now and it sucks and it breaks me down everytime... I wish I could meet someone who will give the same love and respect and devotion that I put into a relationship and I wish that whoever it is would be nothing like my ex nothing....So what do I do? How can I stop this cycle of endless pain how can I just not care when it's so hard for me to do? HOW can I just stop all the bs and finally be happy. I just want to be happy....In all honesty I would really like to meet someone but dont want the same thing to happen to me! I talk to men but blow them off due to the fact I feel inside I am doing something wrong or what if he comes back and he had me thinking this way! It's more or less brainwash I know it is im not blind anymore but I cant stop the cycle and would seriously like to I am fine I dont cry anymore I dont mope or call asking him to come back but when he does call and needs me im there and then 2 hours laters its treating me back or not talking to me until the next time... Someone please help me 5 years later I still need advice need answers need something can someone please give me there opinion thanks so much in advance Link to comment
Shyguy24 Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Hey Babe, First of all ure in a bad place and need to get out of it quick , here is what u need to do ... 1> ignore all these losers because from what i can figure out they sound like real weak people . i mean to hurt a person takes a lot but to do it again and again ..well thats just sick . U need to get out of this crappy place ...Totally stop taliking to these losers . U have to realise that hey i am a good person and i dont deserve this crap . Just forget about these people Now ..Ure a good person and u deserve to be with good people . I am good person and can proudly say that i cherish all my friends and the moments i spend with them, i was in the same crap ure in now but this was about 5 years back . I just told them all to just get lost i started to judge these losers on a individual bases and realised the ones i wanted to hang out were the ones who respected my friendship. RESPECT babe is a very big thing u need to have it if u want a good relationship and Hey if u want a email buddy or some one to talk to u can try me out . Remember we make choices in life but we dont have to stick to them without thinking them through . Ure a good person and u dont deserve this Crap . take care shy Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Hi Good, you are aware that you are in a vicious cycle that is not healthy to you. You need to get him out your life. Don't let him control your life. Start all over again. Someone better is waiting for you somewhere, you just need to find it. Don't be afraid to get hurt, try to new things and meet new friends to widen your social cycle. Link to comment
SarahRose Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 keeping in touch with the ex is like picking a scab off over and over. The only way for it to heal is to leave it alone and stop touching it. You can't be friends with your ex so you have to cut him out of your life completely. NC and make it stick. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted July 23, 2006 Share Posted July 23, 2006 Ang - I totally agree with SarahRose's scab anaolgy. Gross - but strong imagery helps.... You HAVE to start ignoring him. Stop talking to him. Cut off contact. I know that sounds impossible, but its really not and if you ever want to break away, you're going to have to stop talking to him. How are you ever going to meet anyone else? I mean someone who will be very good for you, if he's hanging around and you let him? Cycles have to be stopped dead in their tracks. Like quitting cold turkey. Just suddenly and abruptly. Best of luck to you Ang3l - you deserve to move on. Link to comment
ang3l2004 Posted July 23, 2006 Author Share Posted July 23, 2006 thankyou all for your help yes since it has been 5 years I am use to it and have been taking it all that time but realize it's not right and I do deserve the best for me not someone who does this to me and I cannot stand the fact that I let it happen but u all are very right and appreciate your help. He is no good for me not even when we were together he never treated me how I was supose to be treated and still does not so NO he does not deserve me or all of the love and devotion I have given him I am going to let his new girl that he has been with for a year now deal with it not that this is right to say but she will realize too...He is someone who plays mind games messes breaks hearts and because he does not know what he wants and is miserable he will want me miserable to because misery needs company but I am done with that!!! I I have been on this site for awhile now and also realize that in the beginning of my break up I kept posting and posting the same thing over and over for a year just to get someone to type what I wanted to see but it never worked out I think this site is great to help with feelings and the way to go about a situation but u are not always going to get what u want! I thankyou all very much for taking time to read and reply to this... He is a loser and I cant stand it he cannot keep doing this to me and I am not going to let him anymore! I have killed him with kindness one to many times and I have played his game too throughout this whole thing but I am done the wanting him back the missing him the dealing with his bs and I am ready to start new!!!! Link to comment
DN Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 You keep to that idea. You and I and a few other people spent a lot of time on here a few months ago getting you past that guy - time you left him in your dust. Link to comment
saltwatergirl Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 Dont expect anything more from him. He's spent 5 years lying to you, being with other girls, and playing mind games with you. If he really loved you, it wouldnt be this way. Go into strict, total 100 percent NO CONTACT no matter how hard it is. Ignore all calls and messages, emails, letters, all of it. Force yourself to realize he IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE, and don't allow another word he says make you think differently, no matter how grand or spectacular those words might be. They are lies, and you know this by now. Salt Link to comment
orangeapple Posted July 24, 2006 Share Posted July 24, 2006 OK... Absolutely NO CONTACT---you'll feel really proud at the end of the day - I promise. 1. Block his e-mails 2. Purge everything related to him...this includes any stuff that reminds you of him, notes, e-mails, etc. PURGE. Throw it away. 3. Call a friend whenever you feel weak and want to call him. 4. Do not reply to phone calls, e-mails, anything. 5. Keep busy...clean the house, go shopping, 6. CALL A FRIEND WHO NEEDS YOU......You'll be surprised how much better you'll feel when you call someone else who is in need. Listen to someone else's troubles.....yours will feel immediately lighter. 7. BECOME A MAN MAGNET: Make yourself look good every day, smile at everyone, and ask the universe to bring you a MAN, not a boy. good luck Link to comment
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