Men w/wondering eyes-A Caveman's Involuntary Tendency ???

[mba1]

Okay everyone, today I went to lunch w/two male friends (both highly educated professionals) - one of which believes that men should not be faulted for looking/gawking/oogling at other women in the presense of their significant others because (and sit tight for this one)... this behaviour as he contends, is simply a manifestation of man's predetermined genetic and sexual make-up...attributable to man's innate caveman gender predisposition if you ....

 

Which in a nutshell translates into men are pre-wired to reproduce which requires them to involuntarily and subconsciously look/admire other women.

 

Course, I know better then this... but what do you all think ???

 

I am the only one who finds this as a prime and yet sad exhibit of poor manners and lack of respect

[Daddy Bear]

i say beat his head in with a club and eat his brains. that's what our cave ancestors would do, after all.

[melrich]

I don't think you have to go back to "caveman" days. Opposite sexes of any species have evolved to be attractive to each other.

 

Gawking and ogling is most likely beyond what is polite but you'd be a pretty empty soul if you did not admire beauty around your (whatever you tastes).

[itsallgrand]

EeeEeeey Eeee Eeup!!

 

...Big degrees but the same lame excuses...

[Spugly Fuglet]

The rule is always

 

"Look but do not tuch"

 

It is human to look, its in our DnA but we temper that with our wills

[Day_Walker]

There are many different ways to explain why men do it, and I cant begin to say exactly why but I will still look at a beautiful woman if I am with my significant other. Not gawk but a look, I think its harmless and if she has an issue with me looking I doubt it will last long anyway as I dont deal with jealousy and insecurity well.

[PRSOV]

I agree with the others... There is a difference between looking and blatently gawking.

 

If I was with my girlfriend I wouldn't even look at all out of respect for her, but it's human nature and I don't think people should be offended by it.

[Managor]

Just because something is instinctive and our ancestors did it in the past doesn't mean it's right

[NJRon]

He must be a Gemini...

[justpaisley]

Your friend, quite frankly, is full of poo.

 

Women, too, are hardwired to reproduce. Why else would we go through what we do every single month? We don't gawk like morons at everything that walks by in a tight shirt. Sure, we look, but as we are the more respectful gender we don't GAWK. It's just as much about human curiosity as it is about attraction.

 

Some men just don't posess the capabilities to have that utmost respect for their significant others to not gawk. I bet he chews with his mouth open, too.

[Dating Coach]

Yes, I believe that men are genetically wired to "spread their seed". It's how we survived as a species in a world without laws, hospitals, or medicated birth. The males would constantly be spreading their seed. Any sexual urge we feel is our instincts talking. That doesn't mean that as civilized and intelligent creatures we can't temper our urges, but those urges definitely aren't conscious choices. The action would be, but not the urge.

[NJRon]

I always find this topic amusing because it is often said that men have some sort of primordial urge that is related to their desire to spread their seed, while women supposedly have a similar urge to build a nest and roost for the care of her young. In reality, I see gawking, oggling and.. yes, even straying, to be present pretty evenly between the sexes.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Are you kidding? You know better -meaning what? That men (and women) DON'T feel the need to look at the opposite sex? Don't notice an attractive person walking by?

 

Full of poo how?

 

Oh, is this a "humans are superior to all other life on this planet" thread?

 

I hate to break it to you, but

from DiggityDogg - It's how we survived as a species in a world without laws, hospitals, or medicated birth. The males would constantly be spreading their seed. Any sexual urge we feel is our instincts talking.

 

Even those who don't believe in evolution have to admit reproduction is very necessary to procreation.....looking for potential partners, or seeing potential partners in all members of the opposite sex is natural. To NOT look would go against their nature.

 

i (sarcastically) say we should force men into an unnatural state because it makes women uneasy.

 

Being lewd and rude is one thing. Not looking is another.

[mba1]

Just because something is instinctive and our ancestors did it in the past doesn't mean it's right

Excellent point Managor - i am sooo pleased to find maturity in such a young man - YOU ROCK DUDE !!! =D>

 

message to the other posters:

have you ever pondered the fact that this isn't an issue of insecurity or jealousy but rather an issue of maturity and respect.

 

personally speaking, i don't appreciate a man looking at other women (glancing is an exception) or being looked at by another woman's men in front of them...

 

why ??? for the simple fact that it's RUDE (uhduh) !

[mba1]

Your friend, quite frankly, is full of poo.

 

Women, too, are hardwired to reproduce. Why else would we go through what we do every single month? We don't gawk like morons at everything that walks by in a tight shirt. Sure, we look, but as we are the more respectful gender we don't GAWK. It's just as much about human curiosity as it is about attraction.

 

Some men just don't posess the capabilities to have that utmost respect for their significant others to not gawk. I bet he chews with his mouth open, too.

 

GREAT point paisely80 - that's exactly what i said ! so i countered his position and said does that mean that women who sleep around in an effort to fulfill their instinctive reproductive urges should not be reprimanded???

 

course, he glazed right over that one and continued on his speil...

evidently, one track thinking must also be a genetic pre-wired gender specific trait as well !!@!

[Daddy Bear]

evidently, one track thinking must also be a genetic pre-wired gender specific trait as well !!@!

hey! i can read, ya know!

[doyathink]

Yes, I believe that men are genetically wired to "spread their seed". It's how we survived as a species in a world without laws, hospitals, or medicated birth.

Oh yes, it's all so clear to me now! Every month right around ovulation I get the instinctual urge to go outside and round up sticks and leaves and make a cradle. Then, when my period finally comes, for some reason I just kick it out the door and find no need for it anymore! Hummm... JK

 

I think it is natural for me anyway to quickly glance at an attractive man but I don't stare.

[itsallgrand]

lol. Have you ever observed some of the social behaviors of monkeys, apes, and chimps? They are very much like us!

 

I remember once, seeing this big old protector Ape (male). Big Alpha, eh. Well, of course he has an instinct to mate and gawk at as many females as possible. His job is to fight for the territory, keep out predators, capture large food supplies.

However, even an ape (the smart ones) know not to be obvious about attempting to secure/mate/gawk outside females around a powerful female he is breeding with.

He risks her vengeance and being cut off from the social group

 

Just like them - we have women who will tolerate a long wandering male, ones who are placid and ones who are aggressive, ones who control the social groups and ones who are 'weaker'.

 

Point being: It may be instinctual to mate with everything that moves and to gawk; but we are social creatures with rules.

 

Personally, I tolerate some looking, but none of these lameo excuses for trying to have your cake and eat it too. Consideration is important. Readiness to sacrifice a certain amount of 'sowing the wild oats behavior' in order to have a steady partner is important for a girl to feel secure.

 

.....

[corvidae]

Everyone who is normal looks. It is merely politeness not to let your significant other see you, because it upsets them.

[Dating Coach]

Those urges and attractions you feel are insticts talking. That isn't wrong. What is wrong and inexcusible is acting on them and hurting someone in the process.

[New_Horizons]

I think it's impolite to gawk at anyone (impolite to that person AND the SO). However, the theory does have some merit. It's biology, and biology can't be argued with. Where he goes wrong is in assuming that his primal needs give him an excuse to be rude or hurtful.

[Dating Coach]

Where he goes wrong is in assuming that his primal needs give him an excuse to be rude or hurtful.

 

Agreed. It's wrong to assume that.

[dw_rc...Confused]

A quick glance maybe but I think gawking/oogling is a bit inpolite, but hard to control it must be said

[corvidae]

If you like I'll explain the evolutionary/genetic basis...

 

Essentially our genes 'want' to be propagated as much as possible. Now this works differently for men and women. Because men can essentially impregnate many many women over any give time period, the drive for men is simply to have as much sex with as many different partners as possible. For a woman, once impregnated, she cannot reproduce with another man for another 9 months (longer really, as she will have to care for a child). thereforeeee having sex with lots of different men does not benefit her cause. Rather, she is better off being selective, picking a man with good and favourable characteristics to ensure her child be be fit/athletic/good looking and thus be in a good position to reproduce, so her genes continue to spread. That's the basics of it. Because of our biological roles in reproduction men go for quantity, women go for quality. Neither is 'better' than the other, they are merely the maximal strategies for ensuring the spread of your genes.

 

Now, we don't have to behave like that any more. We can make conscious choices. Because, for whatever reason, we have developed intellect. This doesn't mean our sexual urges are wrong, or that we should now go around acting like sex and physical attraction are beneath us, BUT it does mean we shouldn't use biology as an excuse, especially when you don't really know what you're talking about.