Dying grandma confessed something to me...

[Cynder]

This is a little complicated. I have to backtrack a little before I get to the meet of the post.

 

I have two grandmothers on my Mom's side of the family. ONe is my actual grandma. My monther's mother. The other one is my grandma's step mother (but they are the same age.) We call her Momooch. It's a little confusing I know. But Momooch has always been like a second grandma to me and my cyblings.

 

A few years back Momooch told an acquaintence of mine that I am a disappointment to the family. I have always been the black sheep. My cyblings are all sports playing Jocks. I am a non athletic artist, etc. This hurt my feelings, but I let it go. I never confronted Momooch about it because I figured she has a right to that opinion even though I don't agree.

 

I got married in August of '04. Momooch dropped by about a week before the wedding and gave me a Big leather bound Bible as a wedding present. She told me she couldn't make it to the wedding because she was having surgery two days before and would still be recooperating. I was fine with this. If she couldn't make it she couldn't make it. So a few weeks after the wedding I took my husband to her house for a visit. Everything was fine.

 

Now Momooch is dying of cancer. The doctors say she has a few days to live. The priests have come and read her the last rights. She has made several of her own funeral arrangements. She could go any time now. Yesterday my husband and I went to see her.

 

Her young neice was also there with her husband. When the neice and husband left Momooch looked at me and said "I'm so glad they are out of my house."

 

I said "Really?"

 

She responded "Yes. She had him down here after they got married to introduce me. I didn't go to there wedding because..." Then she just stopped talking.

 

A few minutes later my husband stepped out to smoke a cigarette. Momooch told her nurse to leave the room because she wanted to talk to me alone. She told me that in her disoriented state of mind she thought it was me and my husband who had left. It was actually us she was talking about when she said she was glad they were gone. She went on to tell me she wasn't recooperating from surgery on my wedding day. She didn't come to my wedding because I am Pagan and she refused to be a part of any ceremony of that religion. (I did not have a Pagan wedding. I had a secular wedding, but appparently she doesn't know that.) She cried and asked for my forgiveness, which I gave her. When my husband came back inside she asked him for forgiveness, which he gave her.

 

I am so surprised by this revelation. My family knows what I am and they are pretty open to it. But Momooch used to read Tarot cards and dabble in all that stuff when she was younger, so I always thought she understood more then the rest of the family.

 

I do forgive her though. I can't say my feelings aren't hurt. I am going back over tomorrow night to show her the wedding pictures. She said she wanted to see them. This whole thing just really saddens me.

[annie24]

I am sorry. know that your grandmother has her prejudices and maybe is now only realizing the error of her ways. I guess she is trying to make amends before she leaves.

 

she sounds very confused, sick, and disoriented. I am sorry, don't let her get you down. you sound like a wonderful woman!

[perfectliljewel]

i am so sorry about what she told me and her situation. try to make the last moments as pleasent as you can for her. i understand how this upsets you but you are a WONDERFUL women for forgiving her as well as your husband.

good luck

[robowarrior]

You know , old folks most of the time have been brought up with strict and strong catholic traditions. Say 70 years ago, accross Europe you only listened to YOUR religious radio station, you only read YOUR religious newspaper, strictly living according to the bible and the church as THEY saw it. No doubt Momooch was simulary influenced, maby she even came from Europe to united states. Its something that sticks with you, even if she went on tarot cards and such, when people become older and they see death will be knocking on their door very soon, they tend to flee to church and sink in prayer in hopes that they will goto heaven, this is why she also probably in fear left her tarot cards and whatever she did and commited herself to God, this is why she gave you folks a bible as thick as a wooden table, in the hopes you would convert to God, and why she didn't want to goto some Pagan wedding which naturally would hurt you a LOT!, i can only hope you forgive her and let her go.

[CluelessGuy321]

People are all odd. I've learned that in life and love....you can't figure out the other person. You can try...but it is such a drain on mental energy.

 

I'm glad to read the way you acted and thought about the whole situation. It's a good way to go about it.