Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 what happens when you fall in love with a man that says he has already fallen in love and married his fantasy woman already? no one knows about my feelings. i say it doesn't bother me, but i think it is, otherwise i wouldn't post somethin here. Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 What happens? Well other than you being hurt, not much. Forget about him and move on. Link to comment
Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 what happens if i'm not ready to let go of this? Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 what happens if i'm not ready to let go of this? You'll be in a world of pain, just because you chose it, so don't complain. Its like, what would happen if I pick up a red hot piece of steel? Well, you'll get hurt. And what would happen if I don't want to let it go? Well, you'll burn yourself quite bad. Kinda pointless and dumb, right? Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Seriously, it is a situation that will get nothing good for you. Yes, it may have good moments, but overall, it will be more pain than anything else. Do you really want that, or would you rather give yourself a chance to meet someone else that can return those feelings to you? Link to comment
Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 i guess i just kinda feel like there isn't anyone that will feel like that for me. meh. boo hoo me. thanks for your replies tho, guess i just feel like another dumbars ein the crowd. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 what do you do? your best to stay far far away. do no contact. don't talk to him, see him, call him, e-mail him. you don't need to be messing up a marriage, karma can come back and bite your butt! and if his wife finds out and she is the angry type, she might just kick your butt also. it's a no-win situation, no matter what. tell your lover that if he loves you, he needs to leave his wife. otherwise, leave forever. Link to comment
Amannamederic Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 that one-itus thing will happen, where you convince yourself there is something more than there actually is. It hurts, im doing it right now too as a matter of fact, its just so hard to let go but i have no idea how to even begin doing it. Im thinking of trying to treat it as a breakup but because i agreed to be just friends i know that won't work too well. Don't make my mistakes, just get out and leave, otherwise you will do stupid things you regret... Link to comment
Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 i'm too much of a realist to meke something out of it that doesn't exsist. Link to comment
Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 i don't want to mess up a marriage, i'm not someone any man would leave his wife over, anyway, it's just a private thing that i don''t know how to fix. Link to comment
Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 i'm not 'with ' him at all ... i'm terrble at expressing myself. sorry. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 So let me get this straight, you're in love with a man that doesn't express any feelings back towards you? And he has already told you that he is happily married? Am I right? Sounds like you are obsessed/addicted to this man. And the way to cure any addiction is to go cold turkey. Just stop seeing him or being around him. Eventually, with time, your feelings will subside and go away. Especially since you know that there will be no future between you two anyway. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Well...what's lacking in your own life that you've become attracted to someone who is clearly unavailable? It's my thought that if you can figure out what that is, and find a healthy way to address that issue/issues, your attraction to this person will lose its hold on you. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 oh, ok, so you just like him, but haven't been physical with him? good, keep it that way. it's very hard, I've been in a situation before where I developed feelings for a man who was engaged to be married, and I could tell he had feelings for me.... but eventually.... I decided to stay away. I didn't want a man who would cheat on his woman so close to their wedding. it was skeezy. (nothing happened between us, but I bet if I continued spending time with him, something would have happened.) I think for you, it's just best to stay far far away, and know that there must be a single version of your man out there somewhere. Link to comment
Amannamederic Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 weird, then im very confused as to what exactly is keeping you there in the first place lol if he's not giving you a thing why do you love him? Link to comment
Xavier Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 good question. guess i'm not ready to really open up about it yet. thanks for the posts. x Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 Well, I would hardly call that love, it is more of a crush, infatuation or maybe even an obsession, but love it isnt. Link to comment
Managor Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 The only difference sometimes for some people between love and an obsession is whether or not the other person recipricates the same feelings. I agree with above posters in particularly BetterKarma, and think you need to force yourself to get away from this person, even though you won't really want to. Link to comment
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