need help!!!!!

[laul]

Hi every1 im new to sight and in need of someone to talk to.

I am in a relationship with a nice quiet man until hes stressed or just wants to have a go at me. I do love him and we have a 2yr old child but he abuses me verbally and hits me as well it really hurts because i no i dont deserve it and although he says i cause it, i no its not my fault. x

[PRSOV]

Hi Laul and welcome to eNotalone,

 

I strongly suggest you find some kind of alternative living arrangements until your boyfriend seeks some sort of counselling until he stops verbally and physically abusing you. Do you have any close family or friends that you could be living with until then?

 

What he is doing is unacceptable and you do not have to tolerate this behaviour

 

This is not something a young two year old child should be witnessing. It is unhealthy and needs to be rectified as soon as possible, for everyone's sake.

 

We are all here to support you through difficult times.

[laul]

THANK YOU. its hard because the only people to no whats happening is his family. we have been together almost 4 yrs n i think im only 20 yrs old n i dont no how i would cope if he wasnt around....

[PRSOV]

I understand that it is hard because you have been together for four years but you do not put up with physical or verbal abuse to that extent.

 

He has psychological problems and if the only way he feels he can resolve his problems is by getting physical then these problems will only esculate from here so that is why it is important that you find alternative living arrangements and encourage him to seek conselling. I do not think you should trust him to be alone with your child either.

 

I think you should also tell your own family what is going on, they should support you under your current circumstances and I think you should seriously consider what is going to happen if you do not break away from the relationship now, for both you and your child

[yeawutever]

You're in no right to tolerate this type of behavior, whether deserve or not, being verbal or physical isn't the answer to the problem. I can see if his family know then they're least like to help you out, however, if you have a family then you should tell them about it. A 2 year-old shouldn't be watching not hearing this, this can impact him/her both mentally and psychologically. You should place him an ultimatum, as to whether he's willing for counseling and anger managemnet problem or if he'll continue this type of behavior, thus you leaving.

[sonjam]

Hi Laul, and welcome.

 

Of course you will feel like you cannot live without this person in your life, he's ensuring you have no recourse against him, and you cannot survive without him. That is a big part of abuse. It is time you take somebody else besides his family into your trust, and talk about these things. Plan a new life. Start saving money in a secret account, or put together an escape plan. You are only 20 and you cannot spend the rest of your life being somebody else's punchbag, think of your child too!

[randiandriien]

THANK YOU. its hard because the only people to no whats happening is his family. we have been together almost 4 yrs n i think im only 20 yrs old n i dont no how i would cope if he wasnt around....

His family acutally knows and does nothing about it?!? If he hits you...it is your obligation as a mother to get your son away from him...and his abusiveaccepting family. You have a little boy; you don't want anything happening to you! You need to be there to take care of him. You also need to take care of yourself. It's 2006; women don't have to fall prey to these types of men anymore (not that all guys were like that before anyone wants to jump down my back about that line!) My point is- there are places out there you can go to help you with this. Start with your family! Please save yourself and your son!

[Aurian]

No matter what he tells you, you do not deserve it. If he tells you you made him angry or some garbage like that, ignore it. Nobody in a "loving" relationship ever deserves to be hit.

[yeawutever]

Yea, there's NO EXCUSE for hitting someone, not even if they're yelling at you, no one deserves getting hit. That action defiantely tells that not only is he's jerk, but IS NOT quiet, he's unpredictable.