Sweet Revenge

[SummerLove]

Gonna make this short and sweet...

 

My bf has a problem with marijuana. It's getting to the point where it's affecting our relationship SEVERLY. He picks weed over me.

 

So...to symbolize my frustration and my pain for losing the one thing that I care about most in my life to a stupid drug...for a stupid habbit...I have come up with a plan. My goal is to once and for all show him how much pain he causes me by not being there when I need him most, and to show him that I hate his "habbit" for coming between us. I hate it for ruining what we had.

 

My 17th birthday party is coming up. Some friends and I are planning on going to the beach to celebrate. I am going to tell my bf that my best friend, call her Susie, want to finally give weed a try and that our good friend, call him John, is coming along and is also a pothead. He then will bring his drug paraphanalia along. We will first stop to pick up Susie. I'll tell him to show me and susie his glass blown pipe. I'll "admire" it...then in a fit of sudden anger throw it to the grown to smash it into pieces to show him how much I HATE what he's doing to himself and to me.[-( I'm sure he'll be very, very angry with me...but I'm so sick of being second to weed that I don't think I'll care much.

 

Do you guys think this is a good idea and that I should carry on with my plans? Do you think it'll make him see my frustrations? Do you think it will change him?

[CluelessGuy321]

That doesn't seem very constructive to the relationship or his problem with the drug.

 

I think the best way for him to stop doing the weed is for you to get some guys to jump him and tie him up, and force him to watch the movie "Half Baked" for a whole day.

[SummerLove]

"Half Baked?" I've never heard of it...

[SummerLove]

I don't wanna hurt him physically..I care about him. I just want him to realize what it has done to us.

[CluelessGuy321]

chucking the bong out the window probably won't show him anything. Though.

 

I mean....seriously, if you, his girlfriend, can't change his druggy habit by talking with him and telling him how you feel, chucking a his bong out the car won't work either. It'll probably cause a break up or something.

 

He's become an addict. You can't do much if anything for him...

[xprincessbugx]

He's prolly not gonna get over this habit if he's majorly addicted and you doing that will prolly cause more problems b/w you 2. I'd dump him but that's your decision. Maybe once your gone he'll realize how much you meant to him. or he wont....

[SummerLove]

everytime I try talking about it he won't listen and tells me I don't know what I'm talking about since I've never tried it.

[CluelessGuy321]

Yeah, most all potheads say that. I knew one guy who was really into it. Found quotes in the Bible to backup pot smoking and looked up faulty data about the "benefits of pot" and how pot isn't bad, etc. etc.

 

You won't change him. Don't even try. You'll waste time and energy.

[JJRadical]

Weed>You

 

To potheads it is a way of life...to those of thus that it is ageeable too i don't think there is a woman in the world i'd give it up for...having said that its definitly a crutch and can be abused...but as crutches go its better than most...if you can't accept it move on...

[SummerLove]

Why should I accept it? When we first started dating he was clean. He kept it from me for 6 months. Why should I accept it. I'm not in a position to just let him go. I'm not letting go with out a fight. I'm not going to let him ruin himself.

[InaneCathode]

thats also kinda childish, and a waste of time in my opinion

setting up an elaborate scheme just to... what?

[GottaLetItBurn]

I have smoked more weed than any of my friends in my life. I smoked all my sophmore year, and graduated fine after I stopped. I have only done it a few time since, because I realized it destroys your ability to be happy without it.

 

Eventually if you decide to make you BF quit he will have a problem, because your brain becomes dependent on the drug to release the chemical in the brain to be happy. So I think you plan is a waste of time, you need to tell him to stop and for good reason. It's not about him doing it once in a while, that isn't a problem, but people who do it all the time are depressing to be around.

 

Most people I hear that just can't quit are depressed, and are actually doing the oppisite of developing basic coping skills they need in life.

 

You MUST deal with problems and live life with out drugs or you will NEVER learn to cope with out them. If he doesn't learn, then I would leave him. He sounds like most losers that just can't stop, but I understand the feeling that keep you from dumping him.

 

You shouldn't be with a drug addict, but I would just pressure him to stop. Don't believe him if he quits for a little while just to please you, don't let up or he will go back to it.

[Daddy Bear]

if you want to be rid of him you could smash the pipe, but you don't need to go to all that trouble.

 

if you want to help him stop, i think you need to come up with another plan.

 

 

YOU: (smashing pipe) This is for your own good!

 

HIM: (enraged) You a-hole! That cost me fifty bucks! Now I have to buy another one! What the hell is wrong with you?

 

...then what?

[SummerLove]

Yes...we are childish. This is entirely childish. Nothing he has done or chosen to do is mature. I've tried being mature about it but 2 can play at this game. I have yet to hear some worthy advice. If you have any "mature" advice...lets hear it. If you haven't noticed, I'm not dealing with a "mature" person here. We are both teenagers. Talking isn't doing anything. My idea is to grab his attention and show him that I mean it when I say I hate what he's doing to himself. Take the bull by the horns. Thats my way of thinking about it. I'm disappointed that nobody has yet to even suggest anything other than "accepting it" or getting rid of him. I'm not going to accept it because I know that he is better than that. I know he can change. I know it is possible. I'm not letting a year's worth relationship go without a fight. I care too much about this person. If you can't say anything other than "accept it" or "get rid of him" please save yourselves the trouble of replying.

 

 

Like I said before, he was clean when I met him. That's the guy I want back. I know he's there. He just needs a wake up call.

[SummerLove]

I need help getting through his thick skull...obviously.

[GottaLetItBurn]

Well I basically broke down the path your BF is headed on. It's a depressing one.

 

All any of us older people can say (I'm 18 though) is that you will find out in time just how unworthy this guy is of your time. There getting your heartbroken and other experiences that you will learn. You can be childish for now and argue with him. When you start to mature though you are going to say, "Why the hell did I put up with him?" You will probably end up dumping him in the future and it's easy to see from the outside looking in. Good luck when you piss him off from braking his pipe.

 

The worst idea anyone in a relationship can have is to think they can force the other person to change.

[SummerLove]

This isn't just your everyday high school relationship. I'm close to his entire family. I can't just give him the boot. If it was that easy I would.

[GottaLetItBurn]

This isn't just your everyday high school relationship. I'm close to his entire family. I can't just give him the boot. If it was that easy I would.

 

 

HAHahhahahahahah. My brother was in a 3 year relationship thoughout High School and the girl was living here with bills on a credit card with him. She up and left and moved back in with her mom that kicked her out. We had planned vacations with her, and then she just left him with the bills.

 

It is that easy, you and him will both get over each other.

[monkey1]

Maybe he's not ready to change. People are stubborn.

 

If you want to smash his stuff, go ahead. You can fight all you want with him, smash his stuff, whatever. But it might not do a thing. He might get angry and mad, but he might not change for you.

 

If you don't like any of the advice given here, well that's fine. We're just giving opinions.

 

The only wake up call I can come up with is telling him "If you don't stop or try to stop, I'm leaving."

[Skippy]

just walk away.

He has choosen.

YOu know it. It is time to move on.

If he wants you back, he will make the choice.

[Skippy]

you are playing a game. STOP IT.

be clear where you stand.

Nothing pisses anyone off more then being manipulated with silly games.

If he doesnt like it. Walk away.

[mystik]

Yes...we are childish. This is entirely childish. Nothing he has done or chosen to do is mature. I've tried being mature about it but 2 can play at this game. I have yet to hear some worthy advice. If you have any "mature" advice...lets hear it. If you haven't noticed, I'm not dealing with a "mature" person here. We are both teenagers. Talking isn't doing anything.

 

Worthy and mature advice would not involve:

 

-maniuplation (the whole setting him up)

-lying

-throwing someone else's property on to the ground

 

Being a teenager doesn't give you free reign to act like an immature child - and neither does the reasoning of "well he is being immature, so then, I will be too."

 

If you want to be immature about it, fine, but don't come on here and bash everyone's advice as "unworthy" and "immature" just because the advice is something you don't want to hear. I understand that you are in a frustrating situation but people are trying to help you and you reward them with sarcasm and insults. How about a little courtesy here.

[itsallgrand]

I think that if you carry through with your plan you will end up making a fool of yourself in front of your friends and bf. Not only that; but you risk worse 'drama'. What if a cop or passer-by witnessed the whole thing and came to see what it was all about? Y'all could get busted. And the bf is not going to be moved or impressed by the 'show'. He'll either get mad or laugh it off or think 'she crazy'.

 

I'm getting a lot of angry vibes. You're po-ed, eh?!

 

There isn't much you can do to 'get through his thick skull'. And wow do I know how frustrating it can be! The thing is: don't let his choice to smoke weed influence your behavior. Don't let it bring you down.

You can let him know, calmly, that you are disappointed and unhappy with the relationship. You can ask him to stop. You can leave, if that is what you feel is best for you.

 

The rest is up to him. Sorry. Good luck with everything, and Happy Early Birthday.

[JJRadical]

...imagine a guy and a fat girlfriend...will the girlfriend lose weight if he keeps pressuring her to lose weight...no...just the opposite...as a way of dealing with the pressure she'll eat more...but if she wants to lose it on her own and he supports her she'll succeed...if he don't wanna stop he's not going to...and your hassling him is going to make him drop you...

[lillady898]

This isn't a problem you can fix-- He should really be seeking professional help. Maybe you can start helping by looking up rehab center in your area or by telling an adult you can confide in about his "habit."

 

I know you really want to help him and that you truly care about him, but look out for yourself too. This is a very tricky situation. Drug abuse is extremely scary and unpredictable.