He said, she said

[annie24]

A good article I came accross....

 

link removed

 

here is an excerpt:

 

The Ball Is in Your Courting

 

That Whole “One True Love” Thing

 

Is your soul mate your sole mate?

 

He Said ...

 

My soul mate broke my f-ing heart.

 

I met her, my supposed “one true love” — a few years ago. She was beautiful, and funny, and I just knew it: we were meant to be. Her name was Katrina. Actually, her name wasn’t Katrina, but I’ll call her that, because by the time our relationship was over, she had devastated me with such hurricane-force brutality my heart involuntarily evacuated my body. I was romantically MIA for years. Two years, to be exact.

 

Never mind that saying “I want to find my soul mate” is a bit like saying, “I want to find my fairy godmother.” If you’re older than ten, you know there’s no fairy godmother, no Santa Claus, and no such thing as age-defying cosmetics. But from our very first princess-finds-her-prince story, women — Catholics, Protestants, Jews, and Buddhists alike — are brainwashed to believe that soul mates exist. God, we’re not so sure about. After all, if there were a God, wouldn’t He have sent us our soul mate by now?

[macdomat]

Well... That's just depressing, isn't it?

 

Sigh... Well, I'm not gonna get started on the whole religion thing, first off, cause you'll never stop me once I really get going. But I'll say this... If there WAS a god, I wouldn't necessarily believe that he'd be the best person/deity/whatever to set me up... It's like, "Yeah, I'm going out on this blind date... I dunno who she is, just some chick the Lord said I should be with." It should be, as everything else, our own responsibility to track our perfect mate down, and not expect the big guy to do all the work for us. (PS - I'm not actually admitting the big guy is up there/down there/etc... I'm more agnostic than anything)

 

AND! There is no one perfect love out there. I believe in the idea of soul mates (PLURAL). I've been in love and been convinced I've found my better half like, 3 or 4 times already.

 

My heart goes out to all those people who have been crushed by who/whom they believe was their "true love." We've ALL been there and we know how much it sucks and how much it hurts. But it will get better. It can ONLY get better. There are other people out there.

[annie24]

Never mind that saying “I want to find my soul mate” is a bit like saying, “I want to find my fairy godmother.” If you’re older than ten, you know there’s no fairy godmother, no Santa Claus, and no such thing as age-defying cosmetics. But from our very first princess-finds-her-prince story, women — Catholics, Protestants, Jews, and Buddhists alike — are brainwashed to believe that soul mates exist. God, we’re not so sure about. After all, if there were a God, wouldn’t He have sent us our soul mate by now?

 

yeah, I never bought into the whole idea of a soulmate before. but now when I read this, it really struck me.

 

"I want to meet my soulmate" kind of sounds like, "I'm waiting for my fairygodmother", doesn't it? hmmmm.... it does sound rather silly.

 

I agree - you can fall in love many times in your life. I sure hope so, because what if my "soulmate" is in a remote village in china, and I will never meet him? now that is depressing. I'd rather think that there are plenty of matches just a few miles away from me!

[annie24]

But I'll say this... If there WAS a god, I wouldn't necessarily believe that he'd be the best person/deity/whatever to set me up... It's like, "Yeah, I'm going out on this blind date... I dunno who she is, just some chick the Lord said I should be with."

 

I've heard some people who have been broken up with where the dumper said, "God told me we're not supposed to be together."

 

geeezzz... I'd rather hear "I met someone new." At least that makes more sense!

[vesper]

that was a fun read. I laughed at the part in the story where the soulmate marries someone else, moves to ireland, and has babies. (chuckle) why is my soulmate with someone else? this does not make sense! good read.

[JJRadical]

Good article...there should be classes given at like age 13 to demystify relationships...

[Kevin T]

Well, despite the sexiness of all the cynicism and pessimism around here, I do believe firmly in the concept of soul mates.

 

But I also believe in there being good, bad and better. I think people can have a wonderful relationship (if they both work at it) with any number of people.

[vesper]

I think that once you fall in love, you just know it and you don't question as to whether or not that person is your soulmate.

[macdomat]

It DOES seem kind of convenient, doesn't it??? That the person that we all fall in love with so conveniently happens to be our soulmate? LOL.

 

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH JJ!!!!!!!!!! There should be like, a class in school or something. Not sex-ed, but like, "love lessons." To teach guys and girls how to treat each other right and develop a happy, healthy relationship. But who would be qualified to teach that kinda class? Dr. Phil?

[annie24]

LOL - my aunt and uncle have been married for nearly 50 years, and he is a professor at a medical school in europe. they told me that once or twice a year, they hold a "how to have a happy marriage" class, and they say that the lecture hall is always packed

[Haven]

At the very least, if Katrina was my one true soul mate, then my soul was a masochist.

Hahaha... I liked that article.

 

I agree with the multiple soul mates thing.

[butterflies]

what does MIA mean?

[RayKay]

Disclaimer - this is MY interpretation of a soulmate, and certainly not the traditional "there is only one out there for you, reunited from a past life" version.

 

I think you can have more then one "soulmate" out there for you, I think there are people you connect with on a deeper level then most, and that you cannot deny there are some people there is something deeper there. to me, a soulmate is someone whom touches you on a deeper, intimate level. That does not have to be relegated to just one person. Your soulmate will be the one whom you choose to be the one ultimately, you'll know it's your soulmate when you stop looking for another one..lol.

 

But, that does not mean you do NOT have to work at the relationship, even soulmate relationships can be unhealthy and crumble if you take it for granted.

 

As for the statement about "why hasn't God sent them to me now" - I think the universe puts your soulmate in your path when you are ready for it. If for some reason you are not ready or don't meet up with them, at another time down the road, another will be in your path.

 

And for the record, I don't buy into fairytales, and believe a soulmate makes your life "complete" - only YOU can do that.

[CHINOOKA]

In the united states we practice the most viscious and innanely stupid mate selection practices in the entire world. Yes there is a god, and yes he created fiamilies and elders and social structures to help provide us with a mate. We need to start thinking about that. Some countries use wisdom in their famailial practices.

[Sheyda]

I agree with the article. I believe that everyone has multiple soul mates and that they won't just be partners; they will also be close friends.

 

I've heard some people who have been broken up with where the dumper said, "God told me we're not supposed to be together."

That reminds me of those people who go on killing sprees and say that God told them to do it.

[Haven]

what does MIA mean?

Missing In Action..

[Dating Coach]

I don't believe in soulmates either. There are tons of people out there you can be compatable with. But, last time I got on this topic it got nasty so that's my opinion and I will leave it at that.