itsallgrand Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 It's all about context, to me. I nodded to LostInMyThoughts 3 categories. And they can mix n' match in a night, too. Sometimes it may start as making love - and become f-ing. Or start with a quicky f-ing, and then become making love. So many possibilities. If someone say F Me, or I'm going to F-you, I wanna F-you....(a loving partner)....no, it's not a turn-off for me. It can be a turn-on. It depends on context, again. If it's a sweet, gentle sharing moment and F- and other vulgaries start coming from him - yeah, that's a turn-off. It can make a person feel unloved or on a different page. I am all for a healthy mix. Dirty sex can be a great sharing experience, even bonding, under the right circumstances. It can dispell a lot of frustrated or hostile emotions too. Link to comment
alyira Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 itsallgrand, thanks, that's exactly what I was trying to convey!! Agree, and amen to your whole post, especially on the points that it can be a bonding experience and that mix n' matching can and does occur. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 The idea of "dirty" sex bothers me. I don't think sex is ever dirty and I don't see a reason to pretend like it is. I would never say I want to f**k someone. Link to comment
Dako Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Letting go of propriety and giving in to lust can be a liberating feeling. Some people are more spontaneous than others, and have a wider range of expression. It's not a lack of respect if you have a solid relationship. Polite and tidy sex is fine, but it can get old after a few decades. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I happen to think that there are times when f*ck, bang, bone, screw, hump, bump uglies, whatever, are the expression of the lust and raw need for sex. There are times when you want love and affection and what you and your partner are doing together is beyond just sex, you make love to them. There are as many ways to have sex as there are people, everyone has their preferences as to what they like. If you like dirty talk or don't, its something you need to tell your partner if its such an important turn on/off. Link to comment
Kitz Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 If it's a fling or a one night stand, then I love to hear that stuff. The dirtier the better. If it's someone I care about, then it's a turn off for me. Same here. Sometimes me and my BF would be snuggling in bed in the morning and he'd just be like, I wish I didnt have school and i could just stay in this bed all day and make love to you... first time he said it I thought it was cheesy as hell, but it was cute. So, when we were drunk and making out and he suddenly pulls away and says, sort of pleadingly, "can we fcuk now?" I was a bit turned off. So, yeah, he was really horny and I guess it wasn't exactly the time and place and mood to say "can we make love now?" But I was still turned off. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I'm all for lust and all that... and I'm not talking about "polite and tidy sex". I just don't understand what it is about talking dirty that could ever get people off. To me it seems like it has some element of guilt attached to it... like sex is naughty or something. Link to comment
WhatGives Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I have always had the same 3 levels as well. And yes, they can all take place during the same night or session. I can see your point about an element of guilt, IronLion. But I do think that for some people it's not about guilt. I rarely ever use the F word because I think it just sounds raunchy on a casual basis. BUT, the one time I do use it is when I am unbelievably turned on and my partner is making me feel really good... a "Ohh F*** yesss" or "F***!!!" or "you make me feel so F***ing good" will come out. It isn't cursing like a sailor, though. It just flows out and my partner also uses it at times. The funny thing is... the other day i was talking to him and I said "f***" and he was like whoa... ive never heard you use that word before. And I was like ummm, you sure about that? haha. He had to think for a while to realize it. It definitely does depend on the right mood and comfort level. And people gave GREAT examples of how it can work with a mood and how it can work against a mood. Generally, I prefer to have a nice balance between sweet, deep encounters with a lot of love and allowing my inner freak to come out and play when it wants to ravage or be ravaged. "I love you"s while making love can only work if you are truly making love. Otherwise, it seems like a failed attempt at forcing something to be more than it actually is. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 ""Ohh F*** yesss" or "F***!!!" or "you make me feel so F***ing good" will come out." Well that's different actually. I'm talking about hearing people say things like "oh yeah F**k me, F**k me". That kinda stuff just makes me sick. Using the F word itself isn't bad it's just using it as a verb that bothers me. Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Well in that case IronLion, you can use the terms...oh, please boink me baby. Or honey, will you ride me like a Harley on a bad stretch of road! Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Perfect! I've always liked the word "boink"... I'm actually a virgin, but I imagine myself not talking very much at all during sex, I'd be too busy enjoying myself and making sure she's enjoying herself. Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Perfect! I've always liked the word "boink"... I'm actually a virgin, but I imagine myself not talking very much at all during sex, I'd be too busy enjoying myself and making sure she's enjoying herself. haha, you go boy... Con-cen-tra-tion Aaaawww Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 Same here. Sometimes me and my BF would be snuggling in bed in the morning and he'd just be like, I wish I didnt have school and i could just stay in this bed all day and make love to you... first time he said it I thought it was cheesy as hell, but it was cute. So, when we were drunk and making out and he suddenly pulls away and says, sort of pleadingly, "can we fcuk now?" I was a bit turned off. So, yeah, he was really horny and I guess it wasn't exactly the time and place and mood to say "can we make love now?" But I was still turned off. It's wonderful to hold each other, talk, make love, nap, snack - around the clock. Your age you get away with being somewhat drunk, but not in 20 years. Drinking less is better. Sorry for babbling Link to comment
nottoogreen Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I'm all for lust and all that... and I'm not talking about "polite and tidy sex". I just don't understand what it is about talking dirty that could ever get people off. To me it seems like it has some element of guilt attached to it... like sex is naughty or something. You make a good point here. Sex is natural. It is OK to be wild some times, but looking for ever more excitement is not as it there are limits. My practice is to enjoy each others feelings and I feel that this practice will also work in 10, 20, or 50 years. When wild I enjoy being bitten and biting, and I work on learning screaming like tarzan. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I talk like a ... "Lady Of The Night" during sex, and my boyfriend's mouth isn't much clearner either. On occasion, we certainly do "make love", and are very considerate and romantic to each other as a rule, so it feels like a balancing-out exercise to speak utter filth when we're...you get the idea. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted June 12, 2006 Share Posted June 12, 2006 I have no opposition to the F word while having sex, in fact I encourage it as well as other "dirty" phrases. Link to comment
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