going off to college...

[Amannamederic]

and im scared to death. I haven't eaten a thing all week and i've lost about 7 pounds. I feel sick to my stomach all of the time. I've looked at facebook and everybody is so excited, ready to meet new people, im not. I feel like everybody is going to pass me by, or hate me, the one relationship i've developed with someone who says she likes me is now just a ticking bomb in my head. I feel like shes going to meet someone twice as good as i am in our first weeks and without a haven to escape to i dont know how i will handle it. New guys have already started to move in on her through facebook, guys that girls seem to like alot...i feel like nothing compared to them and i've never even met them.

 

I can't handle living on my own, i dont know what to do. I feel like im going to fail miserably at football and then be humiliated and trapped over there. I am going to a school of 15,000 and i have 0 friends, only aquaintences. I just know all of the girls will think im ugly and not want anything to do with me.

 

what do i do? there is nowhere to turn, my dad says he went through it, his brother went through it, everybody goes through it. I can't help but think he's wrong, nobody could feel like this. I feel completely 100% alone.

 

I feel like a little kid, just wanting to hang on to highschool even though im almost 19 years old. All of my clothes feel like they are little kid clothes, like i will be laughed at because of how i dress. I want there to be at least some people there to calm me down, make me feel better. I just have an overwhelming sense of disaster...i can't take this.

[rose2summer]

I recommend maybe finding some people who will be going to your new college and make friends before you start.

 

Maybe try out myspace or facebook, the one your gf is on and meet some friends.

 

Otherwise, you can wait until you start college and you will meet people in your classes.

 

I had your same fears when I left for college.

 

I went to a school with 35,000+ students, 250-500 students in each class, but I still managed to make a lot of friends.

 

I was a complete nerd in high school and became much more social in college.

 

As much as I say don't worry, you really shouldn't, because you will meet others who are as bright as you and as dedicated.

 

Good luck!

[Beyondthesea]

College is fun and a nice change! I love it, and I was a nerd in high school. I've met some of the nicest people in the world there, and everyone is 'all alone' when they start, so don't be afraid to talk to the person beside you!

[Alabama]

It can be lonely when you first go of to college. See if you can find any friends who are going to the same college and get to konw them. See if they'll be your roommate as that will help you transition better. Don't think that everything will neccesarily be bad. There's a chance you might make friends and enjoy yourself. Don't stress about this and try to think of going to College in a positive light.

[avman]

Take it one step at a time. You'll never meet every single student so don't worry about how many people go there. 90% of them you'll never talk to.

 

I went to a school of 50,000 and didn't know a soul when I went there. But I met people in my first semester of classes and even started dating a girl in my chemistry class within the first 3 weeks. I never expected that. I gradually met people over time and fell in with a core group of people that I really clicked with. The best part of being around 15-50,000 people is that you are nearly guaranteed there will be SOMEBODY there who you will get along with well.

[Tex1907]

Well you should def. try and get used to it. When you get out of college and don't know w t f your supposed to do it is a lot harder. Eventually you will grow to love it. Trust me. Consider the next 4 years of your life set. You can grub money off your parents, drink booze like a madman, eat arseloads of food, and chill with a lot of new people. Youll meet people almost instantly, you wont even have to try. Theres tons of people you will be forced to interact with in your room, and classes. Also, everyone loves alcohol. Your bound to attract a few hotties that way. Get a hold of some brews....Its almost like people find you... so theres no need to find them...

[RayKay]

College is new for EVERYBODY! Don't fret, seriously. There are going to be LOTS of people whom know no-one, but if you think you are the only one, you will prevent yourself from meeting new people and friends.

 

Take advantage of all the initial orientation activities they have planned as those are great for meeting others and keep an open mind and just talk to people!

 

Make the best of it, and you will have a great time with it. Don't forget to have time to study though too

[Scout]

I understand your fears, it's a big change and you're naturally going to have some anxieties. But can I point out two things I've noticed?

 

1) You clearly did well in highschool with making friends, or you wouldn't want it to be over. That really bodes well for your ability to make friends in a new place.

 

2) You express yourself very well in your posts. That also bodes well for your ability to connect with others.

 

Personally, you strike me as someone who is practically guaranteed to make friends wherever you go.

[Jinx]

Relatively speaking College is an open minded melting pot when it concerns students.

 

I think everyone at some point has the "High School is over, everyone is gone, no one will remember me, uh-oh now what will I do?". As much as I wanted to leave home I still had it, I was just not verbal about it. A deal of people I know today years later finally state just how scared they were about leaving home and being alone, it just for some was a pride thing, that being scared was a weakness point for them I guess.

 

College for myself was a nice new start, I loved it then, love it now. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself once I enter a graduate school and eventually finished my degree work.

 

You will need to consider this important point, most all other freshman at the University level are in your shoes to some level, some more than you some less than you. It may take a bit but most people are looking for acquaintances to develop into friendships. I eventually just made it a habit to talk to anyone and now I have a good acquaintance network a mile long and what friends I have are the best I could probably hope for, most of which came out of it.

 

One of my best things to do was when I was in a primarily Freshman based 101 class, I'd find myself a person who looked just as lost as I did and talk. Random things, small talk, What class, what they think, if its a good sized University ask where they are from, degree, etc... Small questions can lead into a lot. Eventually after socializing within the classes you'll find people that will attach to you, and people you attach to.

 

Good point was finding someone who had an hour's break or something between courses at the same time as I and had nothing really to do with their time. Most are very open to having a person walk around, share lunch, socialize during that period.

 

Also you'll learn, who you were in High School means absolutely nothing in College. That status goes out the window and you have a new clean slate to grow with.

 

As for looks, think ugly be ugly I guess. Someone can be relatively unattractive but if their personality shines it doesn't really matter. You have to love yourself really before you can love another or else you will fall to this mass level of insecurity you seem to of taken on. Furthermore, being on the Football team I tend to think that would give you brownie points with some of the women there, looks or no looks. If you can develop a more confident outlook but also be pleasant to be around and social, you'll have it made well.

 

College takes some time and adjusting to but once you get your niche and start being around others it is one of the best experiences.

[Reilly2856]

College is a big step but if you don't go into it when a open mind, you are already setting yourself up for failure. Instead of thinking about all the negatives of starting over at a new place, think of this as an opportunity. An opportunity to meet new people, and being that bit closer to discovering your passion (ie. what you want to do with the rest of your life.

 

Regarding your gf, college will be a real test of your relationship. If she really loves you, then nothing will change. Though, long-distance relationships are hard to maintain, if the trust is not there. That is not to say, that you should maintain blind trust either. If you are noticing she is losing interest in you, then it is best to end the relationship and move on. Remember, college will also present you with many opportunities to meet new girls. In fact, it may be that you will find someone new and want to pursue a relationship with her instead.

 

In the end, you will just have to decide between facing your fears or being swallowed by them.

[MiaLeah]

I take it that you're staying in the dorms. Will you be sharing a room with someone? Your college should give you contact information about the person. Try to contact that person before you go. Once you get there, try to at least get along with your roommate. If they make friends, then you might be able to meet people that way.

 

This sounds kind of cheesy, but my friend went to a college where she didn't know anyone. The first day, she and her roommate decided to go door to door on their floor and introduce themselves. By the time they reached the last door, nearly the whole floor had come along with them. I know that sounds kind of stupid, but she made several friends that way.