Where do I go from here?

[lonelyandblue]

Please give me some advise as I am stuck. I have truly gone through it all, most of it being in the last year. I have moved like 6 times in two years, two of the moves out of state. I am up to my eyeballs in debt. My husband and I are broke up and I was thinking it was temporary but now that I'm out of it, I'm going to go forward with a divorce. And now I've found a place I love to live, but I'm broke. I'm working a job and mainly it's paying for daycare right now until and if the state helps. I don't want to quit 'cause the jobs local and later I might make some money. But I'm wondering if I should quit for my daughter's sake and just be spending time with her. Don't know which is better, be a better provider, or try to "be there" for her and get her life as well as mine back on track??? She is 4 and may start preschool in the fall... Any ideas? (Sorry if I've confused anyone...)

[nicorette]

does your husband pay child support? wow, you sound liek youre in a tough situation and i hope that things get better for you, it sounds very unfortunate. i think you need to be there for your daughter, but what your doing now is really all you can do. does your husband not give you any money?

[GottaLetItBurn]

Just show your daughter a lot of love when you do get to be around her. Kids need to be shown tenderness and love growning up, so don't neglect her. Still you have to just keep working. IF I were you maybe consider looking for a better job while working at the one you have now.

 

Think about it, going back to school would be really good. There are some careers that you can get into very fast through community college. One of my friends mom is a single mother now (divorce). SHe is a registered nurse.

 

If you can find something you want to do, work towards a goal. The main things you have to do is work your way out of your situation. Make a plan for the future and think of the steps it's going to take to get there.

 

Just don't look back in a few years and regret that you didn't use your head to do something that could have had you in a better postion.

[JJRadical]

Being a single Mom your kind of caught between a rock and a hardplace as the cliche' goes...I wonder if your husband is feeling any guilt for the "be there" issue...who is to say what is "better?"...whatever you choose do the best you can and find ways to deal with the guilt that comes with either choice...i noticed single moms always feel guilt even when they give their all so be on the guard against that...

[brando]

Well im sure the sooner you start your divorce, the better off you will be, at least with some finacial assistance. Make sure if a divorce is what you want, you speak to a lawyer and ensure you cover with the lawyer all the responsibilities of child support you husband will be responsible for.

 

Are you and your husband speaking at all??

[lorrie17]

my daughter loved preschool. she was an only child. my husband worked days and i worked nights. i was so worried about leaving her in the preschool but she loved it. soon i was working more and paying more so she could be with her friends in "early birds" and then in the "lunch bunch". she was happy, fulfilled and very tired at the end of the day. i needed to work, for money and for me.

[sonjam]

Lonelyandblue, keep your child in daycare, we love our kids, but we don't give them the developmental stimulation and social development they so desperately need at that age just by staying at home with them. You would probably also have the constant worry about money. She will be fine if you give her QUALITY time instead of QUANTITY time.

[CHINOOKA]

I want to commend you on all you are doing and have done so far for your child. You are a Hero. Have you considered a vocational degree? the childcare centers at the colleges are the best you can find, and you could get training for a substantial job, that would help meet your families financial needs!