Itches.

[koremi]

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months.

 

I'm starting to feel itches.

I just spent an hour or so with another of my guy friends, and it was weird, it felt like I was alive again. I had little crushy butterflies and such, but I knew if I did anything, I'd screw up an amazing relationship, and it wouldn't last anyway.

 

I compare it to the kid getting a new toy analogy. The honeymoon phase.

 

The happy, crazy, hormonal phase of bliss.

 

I never really had a honeymoon phase with my boyfriend, for the first month I was in love with someone else and he was getting out of a bad relationship. He put me back together emotionally. I'm so comfortable with him, and we've even talked about these itches. I told him right when I got home. I don't want to screw it up.

 

I can leave a good, trusting, healthy relationship for an impulsive jump for sex, or "love", when it's really just infatuation. I hope.

 

I can't get off during sex, or while recieving oral sex. I only can by myself. I just don't find him sexually appealing. I see him more as a companion now. I don't like it. I want to spice things up.

 

I don't want to leave what's probably the best possible thing for me right now on an impulse. It's either trust and warmth, or mystery and sex. I want to combine the two. It's just getting too comfortable. I keep having more and more itches. I want to fix that. Should I go with the impulses...or ask for a month-long break.....or keep trying to work things out? Everything I've said here we've already talked about, for the communication's sake. If we try, we can. I just don't know what to do.

[annie24]

what about writing a list for yourself, about the pros and cons of staying with this guy? maybe it might help you make a decision?

[Gracelove]

Do you love this person?

If so, I would always say that "trust & warmth" is better than "Mystery & sex" if you want a meaningful relationship.

Are you in a stage of life where you feel you'd rather be single?

If so, you should discuss this with your current boyfriend.

You don't want to hurt him. And I'm sure you don't want to cheat, because that will definitely hurt him.

Have you ever found your boyfriend sexually appealing?

If so, then maybe you should explore reasons why you are no longer attracted to him that way. Have any thoughts beside, he's "boring" come to mind?

Does he seem uninterested in you these days? Too preoccupied with other things? Less talk-a-tive?

Something sparked a change in the way you're feeling about him.

Maybe a discussion between the two of you will help you pinpoint it.

[itsallgrand]

Hey. Well, your bf sounds great. He's nice, he was there when you needed him, the relationship is fairly healthy.

 

But do you love him? Nutty, wonderful love?

 

I agree with Annie. Pros and Cons. Attempt to look at it from an objective position, the facts in front of your face. Then, what does your heart tell you?

 

Eessh, I was just thinking about something like this the other day.

I was thinking of a conversation I had with a friend. He was telling me about his last relationship: the woman was everything he thought he wanted. In the end though, he just didn't feel it. On paper it looked perfect, but something was missing. It can tricky, finding someone who sparks us and is good for us. Tricky, but it exists.

 

You'll figure out your answer. Let it come to you.

[spookylittlegirl]

Don't confuse comfortable with love. The easiest isn't always what's right. Too many people have stayed in stagnant relationships just because it was comfortable, denying themselves true happiness, I did it myself.