How do you work on your insecurities?

[challenging_thought]

By reading this forum, I noticed that lots of people (or should I say women) feel insecure about their bodies.

Quite a few times, advice given is to 'work on your insecurities'.

 

But, how do you do that?

What exactly do you do?

[Skippy]

tell me when yo figure it out

[princessdi75]

Good question, I too would like to know the answer to this...I am a pretty confident person and don't mind being nude around my boyfriend, but I get self-conscious if I know he's looking/staring at me...I just get so uncomfortable!

[robowarrior]

"if wisdom is gained solely through experiences then we are all damned."

Me

 

Im happy to say that isn't true, you can learn wisdom just by reading books too, lol.

 

Anyway about insecurities, if there is one thing i do not suffer from its insecurities. You see life is like a boxing game, being afraid that you are going to be hurt is useless because you WILL get hurt, so might as well go for gold in your life and punch the hell out of your opponent which is life.

 

What is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that.

 

Cast off your fear!

Look forward!

Go forward!

Never stand still.

Retreat and you will age.

Hesitate and you will die.

[Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstei]

i have never been insecure about being around my bf naked or anything - i just dont want to be put up beside another girl and compared. that is probably what i am most insecure about. i dont want to be compared to other girls because im not like other girls at all.

[Dako]

Robowarrior, you certainly don't lack self-assurance.

In fact, you've never started a thread here by asking a question or sharing much about your life. I'm curious.

How old are you? What do you do all day? Are you married?

[challenging_thought]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies.

They make a lot of sense

I have to go to work now , I'll comment later, when I come back

[itsallgrand]

You see life is like a boxing game, being afraid that you are going to be hurt is useless because you WILL get hurt, so might as well go for gold in your life and punch the hell out of your opponent which is life.

 

That's awesome. True, true. Love the analogy.

 

Re: insecurities (bodily I guess?). I used to be a mess of insecurities about my body. It's really about what you are telling yourself in your brain.

Stop comparing. Find and take care of all the things you like. Work on the ones that can be improved. Forget about and accept the ones you can't change.

 

What really helped me was art of all things. Learning to appreciate and open myself to all varieties of beauty. I started drawing and modelling for art classes. I realized 'hey, i am beautiful!'

 

When plagued by seeing some goddess that makes me feel somewhat insecure, I try to think of her as a sister. I try to find something about her that is lovable or nice. That can usually melt most of the bad feelings. Even talking to or learning something about said-goddess can help for me bc then I can relate that she is human/imperfectly beautiful as I am.

 

those are just some of my ways

[challenging_thought]

I've read all your replies again, and you know what?

Lots of ideas I could use.

Thanks so much to everyone

I'll give it a try and I'll keep you posted.

Or maybe I should even post here my little successes and drawbacks… for people who have the same problem and may find that helpful.

 

One thing that sometimes helps me is to look at myself through 'male eyes'. Men are much less critical then women.

That has a downside though – they are less critical about other women too - but it still helps to put things in perspective. Men so often don't even notice those little details that (we think) make us imperfect compared to some other girl.

 

I'm really committed to help myself with this problem – because no one else can.

 

Thanks again to everyone

[gullible_soul]

One thing that sometimes helps me is to look at myself through 'male eyes'. Men are much less critical then women.

That has a downside though – they are less critical about other women too - but it still helps to put things in perspective. Men so often don't even notice those little details that (we think) make us imperfect compared to some other girl.

 

Wow, you don't know how much you just helped my self-esteem with what you said there.

 

I'm constantly feeling insecure about myself because I think "Oh, god, does my boyfriend notice that I gained 2 pounds this week?" And what you said up there contradicts what I think because, hell, he doesn't notice obvious things, like if I'm wearing glasses or not.

 

Thanks so much!!

[challenging_thought]

You're welcome!

I'm so glad this helped you.

[TheRedQueen]

Perhaps by first finding the root of the insecurity, then by spending the rest of your life deconstructing the problem in therapy

[eleanorrigby1]

"if wisdom is gained solely through experiences then we are all damned."

Me

 

Im happy to say that isn't true, you can learn wisdom just by reading books too, lol.

 

Anyway about insecurities, if there is one thing i do not suffer from its insecurities. You see life is like a boxing game, being afraid that you are going to be hurt is useless because you WILL get hurt, so might as well go for gold in your life and punch the hell out of your opponent which is life.

 

What is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that.

 

Cast off your fear!

Look forward!

Go forward!

Never stand still.

Retreat and you will age.

Hesitate and you will die.

 

I liked this reply. I let my fear of getting hurt prevent me from enjoying my relationship. all the time!