did something bad, now i hurt more than ever....

[whattodo84]

ok, so my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me last month. we had separated 2 other times, but i fear this time is final.

 

here is the bad thing i did today...

 

i have his e-mail password, and decided to check it out today. well, he recently (they were still in the trash!) deleted EVERY e-mail i had sent him (including pictures from b-days, etc). not once in the other breakups did he delete anything from me, even when we were at the point where we were furious with eachother. I just feel like he is totally cutting me out of his life now. i saw him yesterday at school, and he was totally not himself with me. just not very friendly at all, and it seemed as though talking with me was a hassle. now i find all my e-mails in his trash bin and i feel like my heart has been ripped out all over again. all my hopes of us getting back together are now gone (it was very LITTLE hope, but still hope). even in our first breakup, which was EIGHT months, he never cut me out of his life like this. i just don't get it. i feel SO hurt right now, all i can do is cry. i don't feel like i can go on anymore, with all my hope GONE. it was the only thing keeping me going each day, knowing that maybe there was a chance of being back together. i just don't get it

[annie24]

well, first off, stop checking his e-mail! It's not going to make you feel better.

 

Deleting e-mails just helps you move on. when my boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago, my first instinct was to delete all of his e-mails, to help me move on.

[sukerbut]

my dear keep the H but change the other three letters... when hope is lost then you must hate....i started ..it took me 7 motn hs , but after hopeless attempts i decided to hate and it has helped me out alot..hate is a great thing

[CarnelianButterfly]

I don't mean to sound harsh, but maybe he's trully moving on and there is no hope of getting back together.

 

And you shouldn't invade his privacy like that, think of how you would feel had it been him snooping through your email.

[DN]

Does he know that you have his password?

[boxinggirl89]

hiya..

 

well.. if you are checking his email account then you must think "is he deleting them coz he doesnt love me anymore" or is it coz his emails just need deleteing and he wants to refresh his account!

He might not necessarily delete your emails coz he doesnt like you anymore.. maybe he just needs space and wants to make things differently instead of having a realtionship with you he might just want to be your friend for now until he feels more secure in a realtionship.. some guys can feel that way!

Mybe you should just stop checking his account and chill out.. he might not be doing this to hurt you and also if you are worried.. you can always talk to him privately about this.

 

well i hope everything goes okai for you *hugs*

good luck and take care!

luv frankee x x

[Slacker]

coz his emails just need deleteing and he wants to refresh his account!

No joke, i feel waaay better with an empty inbox.

 

when hope is lost then you must hate

Harsh, resenting someone just cause you broke up is a bad idea,

you know what they say, forgive and forget...

[CarnelianButterfly]

Harsh, resenting someone just cause you broke up is a bad idea,

you know what they say, forgive and forget...

Forgive, but don't forget, forgetting only lets the same bad things happen over and over again, learn from your mistakes, take that knowledge and move on.

[whattodo84]

yes, he knows i have his password, no he was not cleaning out his inbox, everything else is still there, just everything i have ever sent is in the trash. he has moved on, i have not.

[boxinggirl89]

yeah it does actualy seem so hunni but im sure you will get over him shortly.. it might be hrd but i guess whats best to find somewhere you like to join.. such as a hobby club you like doing! this will take ur mind of things and help you also to become more confident!

 

take care an hope everything goes well for you in the futire! *hugs*

luv frankee x x

[DN]

yes, he knows i have his password, no he was not cleaning out his inbox, everything else is still there, just everything i have ever sent is in the trash. he has moved on, i have not.

 

It would be interesting to know why he has not changed his password and if he knows you are checking his account. Also if he has cleared his trash so all that stuff is permanently gone.

 

I am just wondering if he is trying to send you some sort of message.

[Skippy]

good grief!! you looked into his email and you got what you wanted...

Exactly what you wanted..

Dont be surprised that he deleted all the emails, it is a way of moving on.

you deserved the shock that you got from looking into his email BUT on the bright side, you can move on now TOO!!!

You know that from his point of view he isnt coming back to a relationship so there is not wait and see anxiety, there is no pressure or games. You now can move on to see a brighter future for yourself.

 

good luck!! but dont do it again... make you look like such a loser if he finds out.

[sukerbut]

if someone emotionally hurt your mother you would not hate them,,youwould forgive them...please...hate is teh only way..this guy has made you feel liek a piece of crap...he deleted you from his life swiftly and mercilesly...and you want to forgive..whatever .. soembody chops your arm off...you foirgive but you dont forget..please..HATE!!! you ll feel much better...there is a fine line between love and hate..there is a reason why that terminoligy came about. I know everybodu that i broke up with hates me..rightfully so..casue i broke their heart...they dont say..hey pete you made me go on paxil for 2 yrs and i forgive you..they dot say hey u waisted 4 yrs of my life and now i am 33 and need to get married , but i forgive you..and i sure as hell am not goign to forgive my ex for doing this to me 3 times and then dumping me on my assss after she knew how much she meant to me and after she easily bamboozled me into believing her again...so my dear youi go whatever rout you want to take..you want to heal faster i suggest you hate....took me seven months to forgive and forget ..you knwow ere it got me...nowere..it got me reedicouled and humiliated

[Abcd2girl]

I'm going through a breakup too (almost 5 years together) and I was tempted to check his email account, but thankfully I didn't. There are some things that are better not knowing. You are preventing yourself from moving on if you do things like that. But like one of the above posts said, now you know that he is moving on and that knowledge should help you move on. After all, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? The pain WILL subside, and in time you will find someone who is more worthy of you.