My GF's Mum

[mmd]

Just recently my gf's mum went off at her because she wasnt hungry and her mum didnt accept, and somehow it ended up with my GF on the floor and her mum on top of her with her knees on her chest and face yanking my GF's phone out of her hand. Which then lead to my GF running out of her house in the rain to a friends house. But after getting there and talking with her friend and her friends mum for 10 mins her dad came and picked her up and took her home.

 

Her mum is known by many people as a B***H and has a high temper and can be very physical (hitting etc) at times.

 

My GF is crying constantly at least 2 - 3 times a month about fighting with her mum (not physical fights all the time mostly verbal). Last year she also went through a depression which I went through with her and one of the reasons for her depression was her mum.

 

Her mum and her do not get along her mum is constantly being unfair and selfish IMO. A lot of other parents dont like my GF's mum.

 

I dont know what to do, I have no place to say or do anything, I just feel hopeless can I do anything at all? And is this abuse? (Knee to the face while lying on the ground and some slapping), When my GF isnt crying about her mum she is the best thing and she is so happy, I would like to see her happy more often with less crying.

 

Im 16 and so is she, 1 year and 4 month long relationship.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

That used to happen a lot when I was a child with my mom and I. Often times though, I did provoke that behavior. Honestly, the mother needs to take a good look in the mirror and see what sort of person she is. Tell your girlfriend that when a fights about to arise, to go to her room, lock the door, and just ignore her mother till things are calmer. It will help a bit.

[robowarrior]

SHe needs to be 90% out of the house instead of in it. Better that you take her to your place as much as possible. Tell her to stay away from her mom as much as possible. Where her mother is, she must be not. She needs psychiatric help, as this is going to get to her at a later age. All the abuse is VERY destructive. You need to support her, and tell her things will get better as soon as she lives on her own. Even if that takes a few years, its better then living with her worthless mother.

[mmd]

Thanks this is all helpful, I might get my GF to read this

 

Any more opinions of helpful comments is appreiciated...

[Skippy]

hmmm... is she provoking her mother?

Is it that she is on the phone and ignoring the mother the provokes her mother to react.

Somehow i have a feeling that there is alot more to the story, after all we are as 3rd person news.

[Beyondthesea]

No matter how much I provoked my mother she would never have me on the ground with her knees on top of me. In my mind she is being abused.

 

That being said, I would make sure she is out of the house as much as possible. Being in activities and such is a good idea.

 

Also, remember that if things do get severely out of hand and her mom is physical like that again, she can report the incident to the police. Of course that could also equal her being removed from the home.

[Skippy]

i agree with you the beyondthesea... but i still think there is more, alot more. My question is, how is she in the area of respecting her mother? has this always happened since childhood or only when she hit her teens?

[BellaDonna]

What is her mother's cultural background? (I'm not saying hitting people is "ok" for ANY reason- but I had a friend like your GF in high school who's mom did similar things to her- and it was accepted in her culture). It was common for her mother to slap her accross the face every time they had a disagreement. Her mother was a very,very big/heavy woman and would also do what you described: such as sitting on her, etc.

 

I personally think it is abuse.

 

No matter what is going on between the 2 of them- the mother is the adult and should have half a brain and set a better example of behavior.

 

 

BellaDonna

[AwdreeHpburn]

My mum was very violent too when we were growing up. Now she's just old and ugly....

 

But I digress....If there is physical abuse going on, tell someone who can help.

 

If your gf and her mum don't get on - which happens between teenager girls and their mums - she should try to spend as little time at home as possible. May be a good idea to keep to herself when she is home, at least til its her time to get out.

[mmd]

i agree with you the beyondthesea... but i still think there is more, alot more. My question is, how is she in the area of respecting her mother? has this always happened since childhood or only when she hit her teens?

 

I can admit that I see sometimes my girlfriend is wrong because I am there when they fight sometimes, and she respects her mum as much as she respects her which is not a lot. Her mum calls her names quite a lot "selfish, * * * *" so that hurts my GF quite a lot.

[mmd]

What is her mother's cultural background?

 

 

BellaDonna

 

My GF's mum grew up with very strict parents and thier family is Australian so I dont think that kind of violence is accepted in thier culture.

 

Well thanks a lot people, Ill be sure to tell my GF the advice