All alone...

[rhianie]

It's now a couple of weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend. We'd been together for 15 months and he was my first real bf.

The first week was okay, I felt that it was good to have it done, and that it would be nice to be single and such. Now I'm not feeling that good anymore... I miss him so much I'm going crazy. It was me who wanted to break up, but things wasn't all bad, far from it. I miss talking to him, and just being close...

Now I cry a lot, I just want to sleep and not having to deal with this at all... The fact that I don't have a job and doesn't know anyone in this town isn't really helping either... I sit alone in my apartment all days with only my cats to talk to. I doesn't have the energy to apply for any jobs. The only time I meet any people is when I go to the supermarket... I doesn't have a lot of friends, so I haven't that many people to talk to over the phone either... To make things even worse I have to move out of my apartment in a couple of months and don't know where to...

I guess things would get better if I could get myself together, apply for some jobs, meet some people, find a new apartment... But I just don't have the energy... All I wanna do is sleep and forget about all this and don't wake up.

I don't know what to do, I'm just feeling sorry about myself and cannot believe why I put myself in this position in the first place...

My life isn't much fun now; no job, no money, noplace to live and I'm all alone...

Don't know if anything of this made any sense, just had to get a bit of it out...

If anyone have any ideas what I should do and how I'm supposed to get on with my life I'd appreciate it.

[CluelessGuy321]

How old are you and where do you live?

[DN]

Why did you break up with him. Do those reasons still seem valid?

[hazeleyed]

Rihianie, what you are feeling is normal because I mean he was your life for the entire 15 months and I guess you left all your friends for him as well. What you need to start doing is stating why you broke up with him and write it out in a piece of paper or wherever. Look at those reasons and are they valid enough for you? We don't know much just thatyou are sufering from a break up.

 

"I guess things would get better if I could get myself together, apply for some jobs, meet some people, find a new apartment... But I just don't have the energy... All I wanna do is sleep and forget about all this and don't wake up. I don't know what to do, I'm just feeling sorry about myself and cannot believe why I put myself in this position in the first place... "

 

 

Sleeping all day is a type of depression and you do not want to do that. I suggest going for a walk or taking up exercising to get you through the days. Just for today you need to state the reasons for why you did what you did.

 

You can get a job, what is your qualification? I suggest try monster.ca

 

 

I am here for you , just like al the other people on this discussion board. Feel free to IM if you want.

[rhianie]

I'm 24 and I live in Sweden. The reason I moved was to finish my studies, not to be with my bf, I moved away from him as well as from my friends.

I'm a newly graduated chemical engineerer. I am sending in job applications and has been for quite a while now, but so far no luck...

 

The main reason I broke up was because I don't feel that I can talk to him, he can be quite judgemental (not so much against me as against other people, but it still makes it hard for me to talk) and I don't feel that there's room for what I think and feel about things. He is very interested in politics and I'm not. He has read a lot about things and when he talks, I feel like it's like his opinion is fact and then there isn't much left for me to say.

 

I've started to wonder if things maybe wasn't so bad, but this can be because I'm feeling so lonely...

[hazeleyed]

Well you sound like a bright women just hit a road in your life that is a bit bumpy but I am sure you can get past it. Keep trying with the job searches because once you get a job you will be set.

 

Use the time you have now to grow within yourself. If you feel that he is more knowledgable than start gaining knowledge. Just because you do not politics does not mean you dont need to be with him. People have different tastes, different things they like.

[triggerfish1968]

Did he put you down as a person or just like to debate opinions on subjects? For some it is a form of mental exercise, like chess. How did he react to you breaking up? Is he still interested in you? Set some guidelines about subjects that you feel uncomfortable talking about. Find some that you both have interest in. Not good if he tries to dominate the coversation, as it should be a talk and listen event. Listening is a big part and he should understand that. It is an art to be learned. I still find new things about talking to another human being.

[lonelybunny]

rhianie, sounds like you're having a difficult time and feeling lonely seems quite expected in your situation - no friends or family to lean on and no set routine. also the impending move prolly adds a little stress and anxiety to everything. i can kinda relate because i just moved to a completely new place, outside of my home state - just got a new job. i do have friends here though, fellow graduates that i'll be working with ... unfortunately, my main support, my b/f needs some time and space and that is partially why i moved so far from everything familiar to me .. but it's all rather difficult .. so your feelings are understandable~ maybe you want to get back with your b/f cause you are feeling lonely, but maybe things really weren't that "bad" - you are taking some time to reflect right now, but emotions and feelings, being as complex as they are combined with your current situation of no friends and job, things can get real muddled, and it's hard to be sure of what you are really "feeling". plus if he was your "first real" b/f that can make letting go even harder because you don't want to regret letting a good thing get away, or feelings of ever finding anyone again start to surface .. you don't make it sound like a bad breakup - maybe you could give it another chance, if you are both willing. it's good to have things in common, that's what drives ppl to each other, be it friends, or intimate relationships, it's common ground that brings ppl together .. so i'm sure you two have some things in common that brought you to start dating each other. and certainly differences are bound to arise as well - that doesn't have to be a "bad" thing~

[toughtime]

My first bf sounds a LOT like your ex. He too was judgemental and I hated that. He would always talk about others and when I would tell him that he was wrong to say such things he would just get mad at me and tell me that I was not defending him.

 

He also was interested in politics and would read a lot about different issues. I liked that b/c he taught me a lot but I also felt like I did not have much to contribute.

 

But I also realized that he was VERY VERY insecure about himself and that caused a lot of our problems.

 

I think you are doing the right thing by not being with him. If you dont feel comfortable talking to him about stuff then you dont want to be stuck in that kind of relationship forever.

 

You need to go out and meet new people. Make a few friends and then branch out from there.

 

Once you met good friends and branch out you will eventually meet someone great. I feel like the best way to meet someone is through someone else (usually a close friend).

 

That is beyond the point..I dont think you should look to meet someone already even though that might seem like an easy way out. Trust me ..I know..I am on the same boat right now..

 

But I realize that we need to learn more about ourselves..grow...get into our hobbies again, develop hobbies...try to better ourselves.

 

Hope this helps.