Truthful or making it up?

[teach]

Hi all,

 

A few times myself and now a friend have heard the line 'you're not really interested in me' or 'you're just interested in sex and i'm not that type of girl' or 'you're a player' when a girl hasn't wished to date anymore.

 

1) This is completely untrue i'm not like that

2) I don't know what gives them that impression.

 

No matter how much trying to persuade otherwise, they either get mad, just show no more interest or come up with some other seemingly untrue reason.

 

Do you think that these ways of saying don't want to see you anymore are just excuses designed not to hurt, or could they be genuine reasons showing their insecurity. Either way its infuriating when it happens to have to explain otherwise when the truth even if it hurts would be better.

 

It happened so many times, would like to know what to do in the situation?

 

Thanks

teach

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I've never heard of a woman saying that, unless he really was trying to jump on her every minute, or completely absent and not paying attention, then the line of him not being interested might seem justified. Not knowing you or having more information it's impossible to know what might be causing multiple girls to tell you the same thing.

[teach]

Well, plenty of different situations. But in sexual relationships, they have seemed just as interested in sex. As for paying her no attention, i always try to, but its a fine line for men between showing affection and too much affection and being clingy.

 

The other week, I met a girl on the thursday, she met me out on the Friday, stayed with me by her own invitation on Saturaday. Seemed dead keen and text me on the Sunday morning saying hope to see you again soon.

 

On Sunday night went out, saw her waved to say hi, but she completely ignored me so I turned me phone off and thought she couldn't have been interested. Then when I got in I had 3 msg saying who was that girl bet you went home with her etc. It happened to be my mates girlfriend i was talking to. I persuaded her otherwise and said sorry she was 'messed-up', and she text me all week sending photos etc. Only on thursday to tell me she was going out on a date with someone else. As you can imagine i was non too pleased, not because she was dating someone else but she made me believe it was my fault.

 

Thing is, like i said has happened a few times and it is an infuriating way of dumping someone if untrue, and if it is true then i would like to know why they are so insecure or i'm making them that way?

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

its a fine line for men between showing affection and too much affection and being clingy.

 

yes, you don't want to be clingy to the point where it's just sad or phoney, of course.

 

Then when I got in I had 3 msg saying who was that girl bet you went home with her etc.

 

What girl? I'm confused.

 

It happened to be my mates girlfriend i was talking to. I persuaded her otherwise and said sorry she was 'messed-up'

 

Oh, I get it. She was jealous. Yep it happens. But you explained what was up, and she still went out with another guy to spite you? I don't get that. That doesn't seem too cool. Guess you should think about moving on.

[cacain119]

I would evaluate WHY she is saying that -- is she calling you a player because you are being WAY too flirtateous (forgive my spelling!) -- or is she saying you're interested in this because you're being way too physical already?

 

Girls do feel insecure when they feel out of control with themselves -- I've been in positions in which I haven't trusted myself with another because of what *I* would do -- so I'm not trying to blame you entirely.. I would just first change the way you are acting towards them, and maybe that will change the way they act towards you.

[Momene]

Dumping someone is hard. You could say "you are the weakest link, goodbye" or "I'm dumping you because I'm dating someone I find more attractive" or "I'm bored with you and it's time to move on" but these don't really avoid being hurtful, do they?

 

Being dumped is also difficult and sometimes you are dumped not because you did anything wrong but because they're just not into you anymore or never were in the first place.

[teach]

cacain119,

 

is this really true???? If it is i think u might be right!!! But what exactly do you mean by trust yourself? Trust yourself with what???

 

I mean i do not wish to be big headed, but i find meeting girls and dating etc quite easy, i have plenty of interest, and yes i am flirty...but they don't seem to last long and many just seem to give those reasons. I've even had 'i'm scared' lines!!! And i'm not scarey, i'm an average type guy...it just baffles me???