Is it possible?

[OC_Rockabilly]

Can you really marry and stay with your first love? My boyfriend is my first love. We have our tiffs here and there and my friends tell me not to even deal with him because he is my "first" and there will be other guys. But honestly I don't want to take this relationship as a learing experience and move on! So is it possible...?

[Beyondthesea]

It's completely possible so long as neither of you is eager to look for greener pastures.

[Horak]

First of all, they are not your friends if they tell you not to deal with him. They aren't showing either you or your boyfriend respect.

[AwdreeHpburn]

OC - Anything is possible. My girlfriend's parents met in Highschool and have only been with each other ever...or so the story goes...

 

But of course its possible.

 

And imagine if everyone looked at ALL relationships that way.

 

EXAMPLE : Well, this is only my FIRST child and I plan on having more so it doesn't matter how badly I screw this one up.

 

Well, this is only my FIRST job so who cares if my boss fires me, they'll be more jobs.

 

Well, this is my FIRST time having sex - who cares if i get an STD, pregnant etc... they'll be plenty more times....

 

Sounds like a flawed logic to me.

 

If you have issues in a relationship you want to hold on to, work on them. If he mis-treats you or the "tiffs" involve violence, than that is a different story...

[Daddy Bear]

sure, it happens, but it's a lousy reason to stay with someone when happiness is so much more important.

[OC_Rockabilly]

No, the tiffs do not involve him hitting me. But he has called me names and thrown stuff and then apologizes and says he loves me and I that I make him so angry sometimes.

[Goodfun88]

Calling you names and throwing stuff at you doesn't sound very good. You shouldn't accept that behavior. Your friends might be right, you may need to move on.

[Day_Walker]

sure its possible it's just not probable

[AwdreeHpburn]

SB - what's a lousy reason? You mean staying with him BECAUSE he's a first?

I agree but I don't think that IS her reason for staying, sounds like she actually wants to because she's happy there, or at least content.

 

But OC - please don't let someone throw things at you and call you names, that's just not cool.

 

Again with the scenarios - picture that ind of thing happening in other situations in life. Would you tolerate it if your boss threw things at you and called you names or would you quit your job?

[Tigris]

I have a friend who met her husband when she was 14 and he was 17 and they're still married and she'll be about 50 now!

 

So yes it's possible.

[Tigris]

If he's treating you abusively it's not a good sign. The longer you're together the worse it will get.

 

Verbal abuse does turn into physical abuse eventually.

 

Find someone else who'll treat you with respect.

 

Good luck and take care.

[Beyondthesea]

Whoa, you never mentioned he yells and throws things. In that case, you are dealing with a loser.

 

link removed Go to articles, then "identifying losers in relationships."

If you read that and he exhibits any of these traits, it's time to leave and find real love.

[BAS231187]

its more than possible. my parents met in high school. they were both eachothers first BF/GF and they are still happily married

[Daddy Bear]

SB - what's a lousy reason? You mean staying with him BECAUSE he's a first?

I agree but I don't think that IS her reason for staying, sounds like she actually wants to because she's happy there, or at least content.

right, i didn't mean to say that OCR was staying with her bf for that reason. i just think it shouldn't be part of the decision-making process as far as whether or not a couiple should stay together. thanks for letting me clear that up, poupee'.