Do I really have a drinking problem?

[shorty20]

So, my roommate sat me down today to tell me that she thought I had a problem with drinking and that she was worried that I was turning into an alcoholic? On a crazy week I'll drink no more than 3 days out of the week. Usually it's only once. I don't think that drinking 2-3 times a week as a 21 year old should be considered a problem? I pay my bills, go to class, have a full time job, do my share of the work around the apartment... but since I went out on tuesday and ended up crashing at my buddy's house, and then went out friday and saturday night because I didn't feel like sitting at home with her and her boyfriend I guess I'm an alcoholic now? She says she's seen a change in my drinking habits since we moved in in november to now... well that could be because when I moved in I wasn't 21! I couldn't go out to bars and alcohol was not as accessible. I dunno... am I being unreasonable or does she have a point?

[Sylph]

Well how much do you drink per outing?

 

If you're getting stone faced drunk on each occasion then she would have a point.

[Dako]

Lots of alkys pay bills, work and function, but struggle with mood swings, relationships, illness and DUIs.

Do you have two drinks on a night out, or do you just keep partying until you're toast?

[annie24]

I think you should talk to a counselor about your drinking. One sign that it may be out of control is when other people tell you that they are worried about your drinking. The alcoholic themselves is usually the last one to realize they have a drinking problem.

 

That said, there are a lot of differences between alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence. You can abuse alcohol but not be dependent on it. I'll try to find you some websites.

[shorty20]

well that depends on alot of things. If I'm driving, who I'm with and if I can trust the people I'm with, if I have to work in the morning... lots of factors. I'm not moody because I drink, but I have been moody latley because of relationship problems... it's like, she's so quick to be like "oh you have an alcohol problem" but she's not 21 and her adn I are completley different people. Even if she was 21 she has a bf so she dosen't really go out. I on the other hand am very recently single and I am just now getting the chance to go out to bars and have a good time without worrying about a SO. On the weekends, I usually go out with one of my best guy friends. I know he's always got my back and he always makes sure to either get me back ot my place or his place safe. He never lets me drive if I've been drinking alot, and he's never ever tried to do anything with me. If I am in surroundings where I trust myself and the people around me, ya I'll throw more than a few down and party like a 21 year old! But I don't think that's being an alcoholic... it's just being part of the scene, being 21, going out to bars and having a good time.

[Sylph]

Okay, so how often do you get more than a little bit drunk?

 

I'm trying to understand what your drinking habits actually are before I or anyone else can cast any judgement.

[annie24]

It's hard. There's a line between having a few drinks with your friends. But.... if you HAVE to drink to have a good time, then there is a problem.

[shorty20]

ok, so on a normal weekend when I'm partying (usually we have parties at the apartment which means I don't have to drive anywhere) I'll usually have maybe 2 or 3 beers and maybe 2 or 3 shots of jager. When I went out on tuesday I had 3 beers and a shot, on friday it was like 2 beers and then a few blue whales which are just a fruity girly drink that don't really even affect you... same on saturday just a few girly drinks... that was a crazy week for me. Usually I'll only party on friday or saturday unless there's something going on to make me party both... and I'll only have a few beers and a few shots of jager usually... I don't depend on alcohol for fun, because I have fun just hanging out with my roommate... my best buddy and I usually are drinking when we're together, but I noticed that and made a point to just hang out with him last week... order a pizza and watch a movie without the alcohol... anywayz, thanks for the replys... I don't know... I don't THINK I need help. My roommate is deffinatley not a huge drinker so naturally she's going to notice if I'm drinking more than her or whatever...

[itsallgrand]

Is this chick your best friend from way back?

 

I doubt you are an alcoholic from what you write. Jeez, when I was 20 I partied too. Big deal. So long as you are taking care of the important thing: job, school, family, bills, health.

 

Do you spend less time with her now? She's not 21 yet. She may be jealous she's being left out of a part of your life. Good friends/roomies do that sometimes. At this age one tends to branch out - seeing less of the same old friends, meeting new people, having new experiences.

 

I suggest you get some input from your family and other friends. If you hear a lot of 'oh yeah, you have been drinking an awful lot lately'...then it's time to cut back and/or see someone about it.

[annie24]

I doubt you are an alcoholic from what you write. Jeez, when I was 20 I partied too. Big deal. So long as you are taking care of the important thing: job, school, family, bills, health.

 

 

well, like Dako was inferring, there are a lot of people who are known as "functional alcholics." People who hold down a job, pay bills, etc, but still have a drinking problem. My last boyfriend was one of them.

 

But it is true, your roommate may be oversensitive and maybe jealous that you are going out and she is not.

 

definitely think about things.

[annie24]

Some websites:

 

link removed

 

This is a good one:

 

link removed

[Ians Mommy]

The only thing I can say is that if you drink even 1 beer or take 1 shot, you shouldn't drive. It's not worth losing your license and all the fines that come with DUI's.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I think Annie24 and Dako got it right.

 

If you are concerned about alcoholism, you should see a therapist.

 

There are several types of alcoholics; and most of them aren't unfunctional.

 

My dad is very good with his money, very successful at his job, yet is an alcoholic (his parents were alcoholics, which makes me at risk). You would never know that he was an alcoholic. Even his drinking habits seem mundane, a glass of wine every night for dinner, but even still he is an alcoholic.

 

What you wrote, doesn't necessarily make you an alcoholic. But it could be a red flag.

 

Can you stop drinking when you want to?

When was the longest time you've been without a drink?

Do you drink to change your mood, or to "take the edge off?"

Do you sometimes come home and "feel like drinking?"

 

If you can't arbitrarly stop drinking without mentally forcing yourself, you might have a problem.

 

Drinking to escape problems, taking the edge off of things, or to change your mood, also could indicate a problem with alcohol.

 

Drinking is fine, same with going out and partying and having a good time, but there is a subtle difference between forming a dependence on alcohol, and enjoying it.

[busterkeaton]

I don't think you are an alcoholic either. That all sounds fairly normal to me. However, it might be something you should sort of keep an eye on. These things can sneak up on you.

The night where you pointedly did NOT drink is a good idea. Keep that kind of thing up. Perhaps find some activities where drinking isn't on of the byproducts. Like, I don't know, jogging or something. You know what I mean.

A sure sign would be the regular falling down drunk kind of drinking night - that and drinking to wear off a hangover. Those are sure danger signs. Drinking alone could be another. But as some other poster said, there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic. Just be aware thats all.

[Cadence308]

What you are describing sounds like typical "just turned 21" behavior. It sounds like you had one somewhat wild week and your roommate went ballistic on you. If you were consistently going out and getting smashed 3 nights a week, then I would tell you that you should consider getting help. It sounds like she's not much of a drinker and it's probably because she's not 21.

[shorty20]

ok well thanks for the input guys, I really appreciate it.

[justpaisley]

The only thing I can say is that if you drink even 1 beer or take 1 shot, you shouldn't drive.

 

I second that LOUDLY. Reaction time is shortened after even one beer, so please, please don't drive after having had anything to drink. I know you weren't looking for a PSA here, but when you said something to the effect of "I don't drive if I've had too much to drink," it really struck a nerve with me.

 

The next few times you go out, don't have anything to drink. If you can't have a good time, you might have a problem.

[RayKay]

As others have pointed out, you can be a "functioning alchoholic" in that you can still have a job, and friendships. It's over time that it can increasingly damage your health and life.

 

You know....I will say that while it may be "normal 21 year old behaviour" it does not mean that there IS not a problem. Here the legal age is 18, and I can recall many friends whom went through the "18 year old behaviour" and drank a lot. Some moved on and past it, and many turned out to be alchoholics when it was no so simply put behind them. Turned out what was excused as "normal behaviour" was much deeper then that.

 

Whether you are 18, 21 or 45, binge drinking IS not healthy, and if you are dependent on those binge drinking episodes - be it once a week, or three times a week, that is a problem.

 

Here is a good question....if you were to go out on one of these nights, could you say NO to alchohol entirely, or only limit yourself to one drink for the night?

 

I am certainly not saying YOU are an alchoholic, honestly it's something you need to look at and question yourself. But what I AM trying to say is that you can't really go by what people say here either (be it yes or no) because it is very hard to tell all alchoholics apart too. It's more about the mindset and dependency on it, and that is something only you can really answer. My father's side has a STRONG history of alchoholism (I swear my grandmother is pickled....) but you would never know it just from meeting them or talking to them. My grandmother passes herself off as a casual drinker, but she sure drinks casually a lot

[novaseeker]

The real test is whether you can go out and have fun with people who are drinking and not drink, and still have fun and not feel "pulled" to the alcohol, or feel disappointed that you are not drinking. People who do not have alcohol "pull" (which is what I like to refer to it as ... more on that in a minute) do not feel deprived, disappointed or annoyed if they are not able to drink whilst other people around them are drinking.

 

I like to refer to it as "pull" because I think this is really the key difference between people who are prone to having drinking problems and those who are not. It doesn't mean you actually have a drinking problem (yet), but if you have that "pull" towards alcohol you are at a very high risk for developing one, because your attraction to alcohol is different from that of people who do not have that "pull".

 

Drinking problems are very tricky, they develop gradually and sneak up on you before you generally consider them to be a problem. If you have that "pull", however, then it's something to watch out for, and to try to manage now, before it becomes an actual problem.

[woaitsJessiKah]

Ok, If anyone knows alcoholism its me.

Im 17, a senior in high school and Im an alcoholic.

You are 21 and you have every right to drink whenever you please. But regardless of age, you are not an alcoholic. Lets review some facts...the US has the highest drinking age out of anywhere besides the countries that do not allow drinking at all. this is dumb because it teaches youngins like myself to not handle alc properly. Anyways. Being an alcoholic myself, i can tell you that your a couple beers and a couple shots night out is not anywhere close to being controlled by alc. I usually drink half a fifth a night. sad i know. but its part of the addiction. Also, i believe alcoholism usually stems from somthing seep inside. for me it was merely insecurity. And eventhough now im one of the securest people i know, the problem still lingers. Anyways back to you. Truthfully, it sounds like you are a normal 21-year-old. you go out have fun, and your pretty safe. You are completely fine. Dont let anyone bring you down.

[Miss Firecracker]

She's 23 now.

 

How did all this turn out?

 

Oh, well, I guess we'll never know...it's been a year since she visited here.