Should I Take The Call

[dnl940]

Hey all. I'm feeling very confused today. My ex g/f is going to the doctor for a checkup and will be calling me later to tell me how things went and I'm not sure if I should take the call or let her leave me a message.

 

A quick background... We were together for 9 months, and she is pregnant with my baby (about 5 months along). She broke up with me and is getting back together with her ex husband.

 

I haven't spoken with her in a few days. I am still very angry and hurt over the whole situation and I'm not sure that I'm ready to talk with her, but I kind of feel like I should when she calls to tell me how the doctor appointment went. Any thoughts?

[MetalGuitar]

I'm assuming that she's going to see her OB?? In that case, find out how your kiddo is doing, but let her know that that's all your interested in hearing about. PERIOD.

[kellbell]

Yes, I would take the call. I would try my darnset to put aside your anger towards her and find out how the baby is doing. And when you are satisified with the information she has given, end the conversation promptly.

[RayKay]

Agreed with other posters, get the information about the baby, and how the pregnancy is going overall, and that's it! Keep it short and simple.

 

I am sorry for your situation

[annie24]

oh wow. I am sorry about the situation. I'm with the others. Once she has told you about the baby, end the phone call.

 

Have you two worked out some kind of visitation plan once the child is born?

[dnl940]

Thank you all. I appreciate your thoughts. I'm so sick over this today. Even called in sick to work. We've only been broken up for about 2 weeks so we haven't had that discussion yet as to visitation etc. It will all work out I'm sure on that front. The thing that is really bothering me also is that I'm pretty sure that she is taking her ex husband to the appointment with her today. But I think I will take the call, and do my best to hide my feelings about it.

[AwdreeHpburn]

dnl - sorry to hear the position you're in. If she's willing to call you and update you on Dr. appointments, maybe this thing can work out amicably later too. I sure hope so.

 

As for the call - If this is just a routine check-up, let her leave a message. They check for the heart beat, measure her belly that's about it. At 5mos along, the appts are pretty routine and in and out.

 

But if they're giving her an ultra-sound today and are going to find out the gender -you may want to take the call. They usually don't do this until much later in the pregnancy, but you never know.

 

If you don't know what they're doing today, take the call and let her know you would appreciate knowing ahead of time what's going to take place. That way you can decide per time whether its worth putting yourself thru the agony of talking to her or just hearing how the check up went.

 

Have you been to any appointments with her? Is this your first child? Or is that you in the picture on your avatar with your son?

 

I'm asking because you (should) have rights to go with her and check on the health of your baby, hear its heart beat, see ultra-sound pictures etc. I think you have rights, if you don't, you should have. Cuz that just wouldn't be fair.

 

There's my 2 cents, take it for what its worth....

[dnl940]

Have you been to any appointments with her? Is this your first child? Or is that you in the picture on your avatar with your son?..

 

Yes to this point I have been to all of the appointments with her. We had an ultrashound done a few weeks ago (It's a boy). This will be the first appointment that I have not attended with her. And no I have 3 other children from previous marriage, that is one of my sons on my shoulders in the avatar. As far as i know, today is just a routine checkup and she hasn't contacted me with any problems previously. Last time we talked she was feeling pretty good. I think I will probably take the call, but if for some reason she mentions that she had her ex husband with her, I know I will flip out. I'm assuming he will go with her, so I will definitely not ask that question. Thanks for the input. Keep it coming.

[AwdreeHpburn]

dnl - congrats!

 

I do think it is the "bigger" thing to do to talk to her and hear about the baby. And I agree with who said make it clear that's all you're interested in.

 

But if you are really NOT comfortable to the point of calling in sick to work - you may need to discuss this with her and let her know that you want to eliminate as much communication as is possible.

 

Why don't you just tell her you DO want to hear about the baby but could she please just leave the "everything is fine. I go back in 3 weeks" on the voice mail next time??

 

If it were me, I would understand that.

[chai714]

I'm assuming that she's going to see her OB?? In that case, find out how your kiddo is doing, but let her know that that's all your interested in hearing about. PERIOD.

 

Yep. MetalGuitar is right on. I agree.

[Lunabelle]

Here's the conversation:

 

You say:

 

What did the doctor say about the baby?

 

{she talks}

 

You say:

 

Thanks for letting me know. Bye.

 

Then you hang up.

 

Good Luck Dad!

[dnl940]

So I just took the call... she starts by saying #### and I (her ex husband) just got back from the doctor. Why would she have to say this. I was just speechless. I feel so disrespected and angry. I almost didn't care what she had to say about the appointment at that point. She said everything was fine and she goes back again in 4 weeks. I am even more sick about it now than I was earlier.